A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

Coxy11 said:

Hi Spendless,
Glad to hear PCR was negative and good plan to stay off work until you feel better.
Jealous that you only have a short while left on your mortgage - we have 15 years! Sounds like you have a plan for easing back on financial support for your DS and DD too. Hope DS gf can sort some work but agree that she needs to be well for that to happen.
Hope DD can sort some work in her college town - will you have to pay the accommodation regardless? I too take DD for a food shop at A!di before going back to uni. Ours is a 20 minutes drive away but so worth it!

Hi, yes we have to pay the accommodation regardless. She came off a reserve list for her course, 5 weeks before she was due to start on a 3 year degree at a different place outside London. With not much time to hunt DH in his wisdom decided to let DD hunt for somewhere. Unwittingly she signed up to a scammer on a non existent 6 month flatshare and nearly lost us £1K. Thankfully DH spotted it just in the nick of time, however A level results were then out the following day and the city she's in has a sought after Uni! We had to take what we could and quickly. The positive is she's next door to her drama school, that was pure coincidence, the negative is that we had to take a longer contract than we actually needed. 

DS and Gf are due to get married in August next year, so they have quite a tight schedule (IMO) to sort their lives out with jobs and somewhere to live after this current academic year is over.

I congratulated myself for so long on the 3 year gap between my 2, thinking 1 degree at a time. Then DS got poor results at the sixth form college I hadn't wanted him to attend in the first place, which mean a potential overlap with DD and then she decided at last minute to turn down the degree offer she did have in favour of what she's currently doing. Arggh best laid plans and all that. Though as and when she does get on a degree course, we will still need to support her as she'll only receive the min loan, by then (fingers crossed!) DS should be supporting himself. Part of me wishes I could flash forward to September to see what actually happens, but I know even if it was possible, I might not like what I see. 

Our only Aldi used to be that far away, but it was near where DD did a drama class, so I started going there and then over time, they built more. The nearest being in our own village which is really handy.

Honeysucklelou2

Glad that the PCR was negative. 

Thats a really good idea to give time frameworks so that your  DS knows the steps he needs to do in readiness.

savingholmes

You'll get there. I am still having DD related costs but am consoling myself it shouldn't be for many months longer and then she expects to move out and get on with her life. Will be interesting to see how that works out in practice.

EssexHebridean

Glad that the PCR came back negative - there have been a lot of nasty colds about this year, you might recall I described the one I had before Christmas as "the cold from hell" as it really was grim. Hopefully you're thoroughly on the mend by the time you read this, at least. 

Also glad you were able to have a good chat with your DD and the truth about the ex is now known - must have been a huge relief to find that she hadn't lied to you! 

Spendless

Not updated for a while. I returned to work Monday last week. They'd been busy as another off the same time with covid. However since then 9mainly yesterday) I have had my desk switched elsewhere, a job I've been doing since starting moved to the permanent employee who started just before the Christmas break up and my emails were lost in the desk swap over (because they'd kept me on a previous persons email instead of giving me my own or a generic one). I was only asked to stay until the end of Jan, so I have asked what is happening. 
The agency failed to tell me that my holiday year ran until end of December (I realise I should have also checked, it just never crossed my mind) looking likely I have lost out on accrued holiday pay which isn't good since I've gone 3 weeks without wages. I have made a complaint but I'm not holding my breath.

We took DD to a drama school open day down south last weekend, having got her home from Scotland and the amount it cost in food travelling for the 3 of us, taught me a big lesson in making sure we have water/drinks/snacks packed in future even if we end up also eating something warm en-route. The bathroom window has also cracked in the same manner the downstairs loo has. Looking it up it seems it's either a manufacturing issue (windows were put in 17 years ago, so not under a warranty anymore) or to do with fluctuations in temperature. 

On the money saving side of things. Thankfully today I've been paid! I have booked to go and see DD next weekend. 2 night hotel with buffet breakfast included completely free with loyalty points and the train tickets were £22.50 each way. I am setting off Thursday night after work, so taking Friday off which may have to be unpaid if agency don't agree to honour the accrued hours (I'd had this planned in my head for Jan, which is the reason I didn't ask about holiday year). Doing this  next weekend as Feb is the last full month of daughter's course and leaving her to concentrate on her last play, getting to grips with the next onslaught of auditions and to have a think about what she wants to do next. She is doing well, has increased her friendship circle and is sad her course is in it's final weeks. I'm so happy for her, I can remember the early days  of her going when I was in such a state over her.

I did have a bit of a break through when it comes to spending at lunchtime. Taking my car out last week and someone has cracked near my bumper. The car is 16 years old and about to go round the clock, so not worth the cost of repair. Anyway that made me wary of taking it out at lunch and I've been thinking for some time about a bloke I worked with a couple of years ago (just before 1st lockdown) who told me that when his 2nd marriage broke down he was £36k in debt, mostly due to a car and mobile home they'd bought. He decided that one of his ways out of it was to 'never let going to work cost him money' so he stopped buying out at lunchtimes, calling to get a paper to read that sort of thing and fetched everything from home. He also cut down on going out but at the same time he increased the quality of food he bought at home. This week I did the same, I bought more 'fancy' groceries for my lunches. Flavoured cooked meats, the different coloured mini tomatoes that  I love but usually I dismiss as 3 x the price of ordinary cherry tomatoes, some different rices and coleslaws and do you know what it's worked. I've spent less doing it this way than I have putting together a cheaper but uninspiring lunch so I pop to the shops for something additional. Consequently I have had 3 NSD days this week, would have been 4 but I needed petrol, though I suppose technically if I'd filled up on Sunday it would have counted because the petrol has only been used for to and from work.  

I'm in work late today due to a medical appointment but need to get ready. 

Coxy11

Hi Spendless,

Good to see the updates. Bit pants about the lost wages and possibly holiday pay too. Hope you get somewhere with that as your holiday pay is built into the rate the agency charge your company. They are greedy beggars if they keep that top slice.
Hope you get some answers about possible extension too - it's very unsettling not knowing.

Glad that DD has plans for more study and has enjoyed the course thus far. Sounds like she's really turned a corner.

When I was working in the office I would take lunch and snacks from home every day. I used to pick up the freebie newspaper at the station and always had a book with me. I think having a period without income (DH was made redundant and was out of work for a year) made me really evaluate where every penny goes. I still now baulk at buying coffee out, unless it's a planned trip, say coffee and cake with a friend. Folks I used to work with used to spend c.£10/day on food and coffees - just ridiculous.  I agree with the quality over quantity aspect too. Even working from home I make sure I have something nice for lunch each day.

Have you got the Too good to go app? Its where shops/cafes have leftover food and you can get a magic bag for £3/4. Our local M&S (in a petrol station) do this for £4 and it's good value - you don't know what you might get but can't go wrong with M&S! I've had bread, ready meals, pastries, salads before. I also sometimes get them from Co$ta and they are £3 - usually 3 toasties plus pastries and cakes. All good value and you can always freeze them for later.

I put diesel in our car last night as we are away this weekend - £75 and it didn't even click once! I budget for fuel each month, so it's covered but even so! 

Hope you have a good weekend.
Coxy

savingholmes

Sorry things haven't gone to plan. I think it would be illegal for them to keep your holiday pay without warning you. Part of working time regs and laws on agency workers. Check with ACAS but definitely appeal

Spendless

Relatively productive day. I have at long last set up internet and mobile banking. I lost it some time ago when the bank changed the procedure. Now thankfully I can log in and I think this will make me more aware and able to move money around and pay things off better. For now I've moved some savings I have earmarked as 'educational' for the kids for DD's UCAS and audition fees. Plus now I've been paid some money into the joint account which was buckling under the burden of providing for everything. It's this that made me focus on how tough it's been with just DH's wages and having to borrow from a savings nest egg we never manage to replenish. So, I'll see what my workplace say about how long they are keeping me and then I now whether to quickly job hunt for something else.

DD had a party this weekend. Was slightly nervous because wasn't sure of Scottish rules about households nixing  but they were guidance not law and I think are all lifted from tomorrow. That she had the confidence to invite people is a sure sign she's improving and I'm really happy about that.  

Saturday afternoon I've discovered is not the best time to go shopping for inspirational items for packed lunches, plenty of empty shelves. However I got some things and I'm already packed up for tomorrow.

Wanted to get all the rooms upstairs tidied up, but didn't manage the worst - our bedroom! Going to give it myself as a small task in the evenings, just a little bit at a time.

Discussed with DH the jobs that need doing round the house and have emailed a window company about giving a quote to sort out the broken windows as a first step. 

EssexHebridean

That's such a good idea with the lunches Spendless - we've taken lunch to work for years - I usually just have a filled roll plus fruit, MrEH adds a packet of crisps, but as a result it's incredily rare I spend anything at lunchtime so it definitely works!

@Coxy11 Thanks for the tip about the Too Good To Go app - I've seen it mentioned before but have just downloaded it and it looks like it could be well worth keeping an eye on! 

I usually start to attack "serious" tidying up by just setting a timer and doing it for a 15 minute burst - it's less overwhelming that way, and you can either concentrate on one small area and get it completely right, or flit about a bit improving several spots in the timeframe. Works for me - sometimes I even then do another one! 

savingholmes

Sounds like things are getting back on track. Good luck with the work conversation.