A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Coxy11

Great news on the job front, really pleased for you xx I'm not sure what agency fees are involved, but if they want you they will have to suck it up lol!
Good review for the live show at the cinema, thank you. I will keep an eye on what's coming up. Meant to be seeing House of Gucci with DH tonight, so may go alone!
DH is doing fine and making the most of my waitressing skills. Was getting texts last night requesting beer and nuts - clearly nothing wrong with his appetite!
DS2 and I are still negative so he's back in school today - masks on school coach and full time in school unless eating.
So exciting that you will visit DD this weekend. Hope she feels better soon.
Coxy  

savingholmes

Hope you get a perm role if that's what you are looking for. 

Hope DD recovers soon. Blepharitis is really uncomfortable.

Spendless

Thanks all. Today I did get asked if they could offer me a permanent position would I take it, to which I said yes. The person who asked me said it wasn't their decision though. Phone call made and I am staying with them till the end of Jan (with the agency) and then the situation will be reviewed. There's far more to this than I am currently at liberty to explain here  but when I can I will.

Very flattering to be called pro-active. I'm sure my kids call the same traits in me  nagging and annoying!!  Tea at my parents again as I picked the dog up. I do need to be more prepared in a morning I think with lunches. Today was  the first day I hadn't popped out and spent money. I am close to some shops, including a B&M and with an hours lunchbreak to fill it can be lethal!

DD's eye has gone down thankfully, but I need to see if I can get her some eyelid wipes to take with me at the weekend. They only cost around £3 if you can get them in Asda, but if they're out of stock there, elsewhere charges a lot more, 

savingholmes

Well done on not spending. It was good for me when I was no longer based in town for the same reason. 

Good news on the job front. Sounds really positive. Must be a weight off your mind.

With regards to what kids say - there's two sides to every virtue.

Spendless

Sorry for absence. I went to see DD in Scotland last weekend and then have been at work ever since. My first wages hit my bank account for the first time in a while Friday last week and it was so nice to see my account back in the black. I treated DD and bought some more Xmas presents and accepted that the first wages was going on doing 'fun' stuff. I had saved on an expensive hotel by staying in her room. 

DD also got paid from the job she quit. Realised how good an hourly rate she'd been on and regretted leaving!  I think that one goes down as a 'you can tell them intil you're blue in the face, but some things they won't listen and have to learn the hard way' She then emailed about any future vacancies. Not sure what response she got. We have told her that she should re-look in Jan, accepting they'll be less vacancies then and depending on whether she finds anything, let that be her decider between whether she stays in her digs till the summer when the contract is up or whether she returns home in March once her course finishes. 

EssexHebridean

Hourly rate notwithstanding I still think DD was right to leave the job. It sounded like a really unpleasant environment. Suspect the high hourly rate is likely to do with the fact that they know it’s the only way they’ll keep staff! 

Happy first pay packet! 

Spendless

EssexHebridean said:

Hourly rate notwithstanding I still think DD was right to leave the job. It sounded like a really unpleasant environment. Suspect the high hourly rate is likely to do with the fact that they know it’s the only way they’ll keep staff! 

Happy first pay packet! 

She's been in the weekend before though and had a different experience. They even sent her home part way through a shift after she'd coughed and fetched up some phlegm (just caused by temperature change when she went out at lunchtime and was racing around to get a costume for her show). DD had said she was ok to stay, they told her to go home for rest. Whether it was different managers on that day I'm not sure, but I didn't think comparing what would have been a stressful busy black Friday weekend in a new job to what it would usually be like was ideal which is why I'd rather she had waited, ho hum too late now. It does at least make her coming home for Christmas easier.  

savingholmes

Sounds like she's struggling health-wise which makes others nervous at the moment too. Glad you are back in the black.  It all helps 

Spendless

Daughter back home still with the horrible not covid cough. Have got her a Drs appt whilst she's back but I am going to insist that she goes for a PCR before attending with enough time to get the results back so she can't be fobbed off for the umpteeenth time with the 'it's covid, get a test'. I am truly beginning to lose my patience with inability to consider health problems can be anything other than coronavirus and am beginning to wonder exactly what is going on (and I'm not a conspiracy theorist). We'd paid for her to come home 1st class. This was because we looked for an evening train for her (her having missed a morning train by over-sleeping the last time she came back!) and the discount with her 16-25 railcard  was a tenner more than travelling 2nd and we reckoned she'd spend that amount on food and drink for the journey anyway. Glad we did, her train was cancelled, we got a full refund plus she was able to travel on an alternative train still in first class for free and meant she was able to sit in a less crowded space, whilst travelling home not feeling great.  The refund into the bank account was welcome as are my wages hitting the bank account each week too. Christmas has meant larger costs but we're able to meet this without the constant dip into savings we were doing. From next month I have told DH that I think in an attempt to sort out our joint current account, I pay for DD's grocery costs. When she doesn't manage, this is down to lack of planning rather than it's unachievable, plus our own grocery bill, which is now minimal when it's just the two of us, partly because he's working away more often, partly because I eat at my parents 2 nights a week when I'm on my own when I go to pick up the dog that they look after for me whilst we work and my petrol. That will leave our main (joint) account 

It is looking likely that I will be working directly for the company I'm temping at some time next year. Yes, it's long hours and if they don't up their pay offer by April it will be netted at minimum wage, something I've already raised with my line manager because I will not accept the double whammy of a job with long hours paying the minimum, so will see what my offer is. As this is likely to be any time from the end of Jan, and holidays are far more flexible when doing agency work (you can take an unpaid off with ease), I intend having a few days off in Jan and hopefully spending that time going to see DD in Scotland again.


Though DD is still applying for jobs in Scotland in order to have some extra cash, she does think that when her course finishes in March that is likely that she will be back home, as we have paid for the digs until summer, she thinks she may go back there occasionally whilst still able to as she loves the area so much. She negatively compared our town to her college one within minutes of us picking her up. I'm not insulted, I'm glad. The place has changed for the worse since I was her age and I told both my kids before they even reached Secondary school age, that they needed to look at making a life for themselves elsewhere when they became adults due to have more opportunities available to them. 

DD's ex got back in touch a couple of weeks ago with her, telling her he was ready to speak to her. She gave it around a week before responding that she wished him well, but at this stage neither wanted to be friends or chatting to him. At first he told her he respected that and thanked her for their time together only for him to start sending messages to her friend clearly aimed at hurting DD, which then escalated. At this point I stepped in and messaged him at DD's request. Not long after that DD disclosed information about their relationship which has shocked me. It very much sounds like he has a personality disorder and she has been in an abusive relationship with him right under my nose, as I too was charmed by him. Some things I discovered I was semi-aware of but had excused for other reasons. Daughter's Godmother had flagged to me her concerns a few weeks back due to what I was telling her about ex then (she recognised the signs due to counselling she's had to have over a long term  toxic relationship) and whilst I didn't believe she was lying to me, I did think she was mistaken. I am glad she spoke up when DD disclosed what she did, it followed the same traits and pattern her Godmother had described to me. I am going to see her today and take with me some M & S goodies as I know she'll enjoy them and her own health issues means she frequently struggles financially. What I will take onboard is both that I'm now aware of my need for my own therapy which has been caused by daughter's school trauma (because if I hadn't been vulnerable too, maybe I'd have been more alert - that's just an observation, I'm not blaming myself) and daughter's Godmother's words of wisdom that though it is better in life to never meet anyone like this, if you do, meet them at a younger age, because at that point you have both less to lose (she has gone through losing her money, home and her kids, albeit briefly) and from then on you should be able to spot the signs at an early point and move away quickly. I am reluctant to spell out more about it here as I'm aware I've been on this forum long enough to have given details about myself, suffice to say if I say the first stage of the relationship is 'love bombing'  and definately what happened, then I think you'll be able to work out what I'm describing. The ex is very talented in the performing arts world though young and still in training like DD is and I very much hope that he never becomes as successful as he has always hoped to be because without therapy he has the potential to cause a lot of trauma. Thankfully though he initially lashed out at my message, a further correspondence from me giving more details has had him change his tune (trying the charm method again thought his time I've seen through it)  and I don't think me or her will be hearing from him again. 

Gosh, well this diary is starting to be far more therapeutic than I anticipated when I started it!

savingholmes

Sorry @Spendless that your DD, godmother and yourself have had such negative experiences. Hope the trauma resolves with counselling and you all find healthier ways of dealing with life. I have a counsellor at the moment and it is really helping to keep me steady and providing a useful outlet / sounding board through which I can work out next steps and not just be backward focused.