Learning to walk before I run

edinburgher

@glass_half_full - You snuck in at the end there Yours is an interesting perspective, I have to confess that I hadn't considered people who were making the sorts of decisions that I was talking about now as opposed to someday. 

I definitely agree that it is harder to get started in life these days, I think this is borne out by all the available evidence. It was harder for me as a millennial than for my parents, but a problem of a different magnitude for Gen Z and Alpha. We're currently investing enough to pay either the expected parental contribution for university in Scotland (roughly £12,000 inflation adjusted) for both children. I'd be perfectly happy if (for example), they wished to pay this money back into a JISA which would give them a deposit of £15,000 after a typical 4-year degree course. Or they can spend it on rent, starting a small business etc. if that chimes better with their adult personalities.

Without meaning to be a gloomy sod, any further contribution towards housing etc. would likely come from a deed of variation from their grandparent's estates (if any). 

themadvix

Re learning to drive - I think it very much depends on where you live. My parents were determined I would learn to drive at 17/18 as we lived in the town adjacent to where I went to school and therefore where all my friends were. There wasn't a direct bus route to the area where most of them lived and a bus to town and back was IRO £4/5 (20 years ago), so they drove me and my sister everywhere, pretty much. So it was expected (and they helped with driving lessons) that I would learn to drive and relieve them of having to provide quite so many lifts (as self-oriented teenagers are wont to want!). They were fortunate that it had long been agreed that I would be having my nan's beautifully kept 1990 Nissan Micra with only 5k miles on the clock (when getting quotes for the insurance I rang a broker and he said 'Are you sure you don't mean 50k? Nope - nan passed her test in her 60s and then got hooted at on a roundabout  - never went around roundabouts again, so that kind of limited her mileage!), so at least they didn't have to shell out for a car (although the insurance was £1k+ that first year).

I think fewer young people are learning to drive now, but I still think it would very much depend on where you live - for the many who live rurally, it must still be a necessity.

Greying_Pilgrim

I agree with tmv - it most likely depends on where you live.  We lived rurally, and a car was needed to access most employment or leisure activities - especially since my parents were unwilling taxi drivers, and moaned like heck if asked, even occasionally ☹️  I didn't pass my test (2nd attempt) until I was actually 18, but was working by then, and took out a loan to buy my first little car.  I learnt to drive in a manual Nissan Micra 👍😁

Greying X

badmemory

60 years ago my father paid for me to learn to drive because he didn't trust some boyfriend to do it.  Most of the other girls didn't drive.  He did make me wait until I was almost 19 but that was because he knew my mother would stop learning & use me to drive her around.  It also pushed her into taking lessons instead of him teaching her.

skint_spice

I passed my driving test at 17 funded by my parents, bought a wreck of a car at auction… DS also passed at 17 funded by a combination of lessons from my and his dad and latterly he paid half from his wages as he kept failing his theory due to lack of studying. His dad did buy him a decent car though.

We aren’t rural but public transport is awful and he was working as a waiter at 17 often finishing late so I appreciated his father’s generosity when it meant no longer nipping out to pick him up late at night!

Watty1

Learning to drive is a funny one. My cousin is a car breaker so for my 17th birthday I was to be gifted a yellow car (can't remember make) on passing my test.  I failed, he sold it.  I went to university in London,  I didn't need a car. I lived in London thereafter so didn't need a car.  Only learnt when I moved out of London and thought it might be helpful. First job I got after passing my test came with a company car!   Those were the days. Company cars, a thing of past times for sure.

EssexHebridean

I paid for my driving lessons and my first car myself - albeit the first car was a £100 banger which came with a raft of issues, but was character-building...!  In terms of parental help, both mine and MrEH's contributed in small ways towards our wedding - his paid for our photographs IIRC, and mine for our wedding car and a vintage omnibus to take the random guests without transport of their own between register office and reception venue... when we moved into our first flat my M&D gave us the money for the rental deposit, and a little later on MrEH's paid a month's rent for us when we were really struggling after he was made redundant. That is about it though. I left school straight after GCSEs - I'd always assumed I would go to university but some truly woeful teaching in my final two years thoroughly succeeded in putting me off staying on, and by that stage it was apparent that parental finances would be hard-pushed to give any for of financial assistance if I was to want to take the uni path anyway, so leaving and getting a job was the best option all round.  Growing up, money was frequently tight - and as a child my relatives on Mum's side particularly helped out with a number of things, in particular making sure I had "experiences" that would otherwise have not been affordable - riding lessons are a good example here where we great aunt and uncle ensured I could continue learning. MrEH's upbringing was very different - his folks weren't rich, but were certainly comfortably off in a way that mine never were. In terms of inherited money, I got a little chunk when my Nan died back in the 90's - that was full on spendy era though so aside from buying my second car (A Renault 5 - it was about 7 years old when I bought it I think and it cost me about £3k!), it annoyingly got frittered.  The same Great A&U also kindly included me in their wills and when Auntie D died a few years ago there was an amount for me there too - again, not an enormous sum and aside from a few odds and ends that I bought both for myself and for the house when we moved in, it has entirely been ring-fenced for the future - so rather different from my handling of the money from Nan!

I very much doubt that I will see any further inherited money as chances are my Mum's needs will use up anything there would have otherwise been - it's the way of the world now though, and I certainly wouldn't expect anything else! 

Thanks for opening up this conversation Ed - it's been fascinating reading various people's differing stories and experiences! 

Debsnewbudget

Just listening to a really interesting section on Radio 4   Tony Hawks  Giving nothing away 

Covers the issues we have been discussing above about helping children and inheritance 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002fl03

lucielle

Lurker alert. I borrowed money off mum for my first car but paid it back. Paid for all my own lessons and tests. 

My own chaps (4 of the not so little munchkins) paid for driving lessons and 1 test if they failed it was on them to pay for them after that. We helped with the purchase of first cars and insurance. However they were each left a decent inheritance which they didn’t get till they turned 18. At that point and they were made aware of it at the time we expected it to be paid back (which they did)
Roll on a couple of years, we as a family had a great upheaval losing our rented home, that it has made all of them get on the property ladder one way or another. We have been fortunate enough to help them with this. 

There will be no handouts for weddings as we see property as more beneficial than a big party/celebration. 

L

powerspowers

Good point about growing up rurally - my husband grew up in the peak district so I can see why driving was an important skill to learn. He has a good story of hitch hiking and being picked up by the Duchess of Devonshire who told him off! 
We live more urbanly, on a bus route to 2 cities and both boys are already proficient cyclists so feels less important to me that they learn at 17. Cause then surely you just have to pay a fortune to insure them to go to McDonald’s drive thru or whatever young drivers do 🤷‍♀️