Learning to walk before I run

Karmacat

SL, sorry to hear it was all quite that bad, what you came home to totally agree with what you're saying about what works for you - we don't change into different people, we rub along with who we are and who we're with.  

Ed - great to hear you're still mostly going to go for the job your boss is vacating, and that's a brilliant prolific amount.  Sympathies on the procedures you're having to instigate for poor performance.  I've only had one job where I had that responsibility, and it was awful.  Apart from the time that someone wrote to their MP because we'd sacked them, and I had to explain to the MP that we got rid of them because they worked in a stable full of horses and children and adults with mental handicaps, and they made an active incendiary device, in the stable.  The MP let it go 😎

greent

^^^ second what badmemory says!

savingholmes

So get on with the application. It doesn't sound like it would hurt given you aren't keen on what you do now - you might as well get paid more and have a bit of a change of scene if you can.

South_coast

Who will get the job if you don't? There's nothing worse than being managed by someone you know is doing a worse job than you would have done because you didn't have the confidence to apply for it yourself - trust me, I've been in that position and that alone should make you apply!!!

LadyWithAPlan

Loving that a pension exists for switching purposes only

Being aware of your MH and behaviour under stress is the first big step to change acknowledging how it affects you and others.
So well done, a friend on mine starting chanting and his life suddenly seemed to get much worse - wife left, major work issues.  However what actually happened was daily he was sitting down chanting facing himself  and he came face to face with the realisation on  how his drinking was affecting those around him. From there he was able to change his behaviour and been sober for over 2 decades now. 

Baileys_Babe

South_coast said:

Who will get the job if you don't? There's nothing worse than being managed by someone you know is doing a worse job than you would have done because you didn't have the confidence to apply for it yourself - trust me, I've been in that position and that alone should make you apply!!!

So have I, it was horrendous. I didn't apply as I didn't think I had been in the post long enough 🤦‍♀️

Watty1

It seems a few of us have been managed by others when we could have done the job ourselves!  Get that application in.  At the very least it shows the powers that be you intend progression

Suffolk_lass

There are a lot of cowardly managers who do not tackle poor behaviour or poor performance. Instead they invest their effort in moving the duds along for someone else to deal with. We all get stitched up at least once. More if your boss decides you are good at sorting these things out. It does get easier with practice but it is horrible. One lesson I learned is to always have a colleague with you when you hold the interview so there is a recorder and witness. Oh, and after my colleague's experience when she was trapped and actually attacked in the meeting room with an angry contractor whose contract she terminated, don't sit behind the desk/table with them between you and the door.

edinburgher

Struggling by, another week closer to Christmas

£283.92 paid off larger CC (7% + a few ££ from my personal spends account). Virement from Extension line of the budget is effectively finished as said line of the budget only has c. £150 left against it for any final drawing tweaks required by the Council via the architect. I have avoided contacting the architect as he was an absolute pain in the backside, I should really swallow that frog so that the "build" can be truly finished... CC total now sits below £6,000. I'm getting backdated payrise in just over a month but that will be swallowed up by Mrs E's soon to be statutory maternity pay and debts. Our energy bill was negative again this month, I'm still sitting at c. -£13 account balance overall.

DD2 went in her highchair for the first time this morning (to attempt fruit porridge, mashed banana and a cup of water). She looked mortified! Can't say I'm surprised, her diet has been 100% milk bar 2 small spoons of steamed rice at a Chinese restaurant and a couple of small strips of white bread at the dinner table

QueenJess

Lol. Both my kids were horrified with real food. Their faces were “do you really expect me to eat that?!”.