Noisy neighbour - sense check

bouicca21

A note however polite will be perceived as aggressive.  Decide whether you want them to take the party indoors at 11 or whether you simply want to be notified in advance so you can plan round it.  Then go and talk nicely to them.  Don’t wait until you are so annoyed that you have slipped into confrontational mode.

then if all goes well take them a bottle of wine and/or flowers to show your appreciation.

GixerKate

Its an interesting one, its 'only' once a month but during that time its impacting on you in a big way.  I know you have mentioned that you don't do confrontation but if you haven't spoken to the neighbours they could be completely unaware that this is causing a problem, they could be thinking as no one has said anything its all ok.

I wouldn't do a note, thats really passive aggressive.  Personally, rather than looking at it as a confrontation, just have a chat with one of of them and ask them for a heads up for when the parties are happening and could they turn the volume down after 11pm?  Its just a discussion, polite and letting them know that their party is impacting on you and its not just a one-off.  A polite chat wouldn't be classed as a dispute or confrontation, just a chat between neighbours.

Mac_70_

I wouldn't send a letter or ask a neighbour to sort it, that would just be too weak. The thing is your not being unreasonable, i love a party as much as anyone, and me and my wife have hosted our fair share of them (well up until 2019). 

Years ago when we first started having parties, we where like your neighbours, music going into the small hours of the morning. Our neighbours where at that time middle aged (sadly both passed away now), but i can remember being approached by my neighbour saying about the noise going on so late. In all honesty we didn't even think about the noise and the time, until he said about it. From then on the music became just back ground noise from 11/11:30 on (played very low).

After a while they started coming to our parties, and also some of our friends parties, until sadly time caught up with them (lovely couple).

I don't see asking your neighbours for a bit of respect as being confrontational, just be nice about it. 

lookstraightahead

JCarmello said:

lookstraightahead said:

It's only once a month. 

If there were screaming kids next door, dogs barking, engines revving, every day, that's different.

what about hedge strumming, garden mowing, drums beating.

most people make some kind of noise. 

Once a month, but 25% of your precious Saturday evenings....

My husband works nights so there are other times of the week that are precious to him. Should they have their party all day on a Sunday instead?

im not saying it's nice, but it is once a month.

seriously what about other noise? Round here you cannot sit outside on a nice day as everyone is mowing their lawn / strimming / building pergodas etc.

There is law, and there is reasonableness.   If you want a good relationship with your neighbours, you need to be reasonable.

my old neighbours are into month 9 of their renovations. They finish at 5pm but all day every day (except weekends) is not pleasant. Give me this guys neighbour anytime. I really struggled to do my job last year.

lookstraightahead

Mac_70_ said:

I wouldn't send a letter or ask a neighbour to sort it, that would just be too weak. The thing is your not being unreasonable, i love a party as much as anyone, and me and my wife have hosted our fair share of them (well up until 2019). 

Years ago when we first started having parties, we where like your neighbours, music going into the small hours of the morning. Our neighbours where at that time middle aged (sadly both passed away now), but i can remember being approached by my neighbour saying about the noise going on so late. In all honesty we didn't even think about the noise and the time, until he said about it. From then on the music became just back ground noise from 11/11:30 on (played very low).

After a while they started coming to our parties, and also some of our friends parties, until sadly time caught up with them (lovely couple).

I don't see asking your neighbours for a bit of respect as being confrontational, just be nice about it. 

 Very reasonable and problem sorted. 

How would you feel though if one of your neighbours had a baby and asked you to stop the noise at 6?

Everyone had different routines (my husband works nights and he had to block out day time noise with earphones etc as apparently day time noise isn't anti social).

lookstraightahead

As a general point, working hours are round the clock now. There are lots of people working nights, working from home, ill from COVID etc. Apart from antiquated law, what time is reasonable to make a noise? Legally I get it, but morally is it ok to moan that you can't sleep once a month, yet every Monday-Friday for months renovate your house? (Not the op)

lookstraightahead

Cakeguts said:

I wouldn't be able to stand this.  I would have to move or tell them exactly what I thought of their noise.  Excess noise causes stress. No one should be subjected to it for long periods of time.  Also if it so loud that you can hear it in your house they are almost certainly damaging their hearing by being close to the source of it.

The problem of damaging your hearing with noise when you are in your 30s is that when you are older you will have to turn the sound up on your TV because of significant deafness. Then the noise of the TV will annoy the neighbours.......

Is this just nights or at anytime? As there's loads of noise allowed in the day which causes stress.

Mac_70_

lookstraightahead said:

JCarmello said:

lookstraightahead said:

It's only once a month. 

If there were screaming kids next door, dogs barking, engines revving, every day, that's different.

what about hedge strumming, garden mowing, drums beating.

most people make some kind of noise. 

Once a month, but 25% of your precious Saturday evenings....

My husband works nights so there are other times of the week that are precious to him. Should they have their party all day on a Sunday instead?

im not saying it's nice, but it is once a month.

seriously what about other noise? Round here you cannot sit outside on a nice day as everyone is mowing their lawn / strimming / building pergodas etc.

There is law, and there is reasonableness.   If you want a good relationship with your neighbours, you need to be reasonable.

my old neighbours are into month 9 of their renovations. They finish at 5pm but all day every day (except weekends) is not pleasant. Give me this guys neighbour anytime. I really struggled to do my job last year.

Nine months Monday too Friday, eight till five into a renovation. Some renovation.

lookstraightahead

Mac_70_ said:

lookstraightahead said:

JCarmello said:

lookstraightahead said:

It's only once a month. 

If there were screaming kids next door, dogs barking, engines revving, every day, that's different.

what about hedge strumming, garden mowing, drums beating.

most people make some kind of noise. 

Once a month, but 25% of your precious Saturday evenings....

My husband works nights so there are other times of the week that are precious to him. Should they have their party all day on a Sunday instead?

im not saying it's nice, but it is once a month.

seriously what about other noise? Round here you cannot sit outside on a nice day as everyone is mowing their lawn / strimming / building pergodas etc.

There is law, and there is reasonableness.   If you want a good relationship with your neighbours, you need to be reasonable.

my old neighbours are into month 9 of their renovations. They finish at 5pm but all day every day (except weekends) is not pleasant. Give me this guys neighbour anytime. I really struggled to do my job last year.

Nine months Monday too Friday, eight till five into a renovation. Some renovation.

Yes it's a huge Victorian house being made into flats. 

Mac_70_

It's huge alright.