Moral dilemma!

natkirt

My partner and I have just bought our first home. I contributed 5k more than he did to the house deposit. Should I ask him to pay 5k more to something else like repayments, or am I just being petty?

lookstraightahead

Petty. It's 5k. 

Section62

natkirt said:

My partner and I have just bought our first home. I contributed 5k more than he did to the house deposit. Should I ask him to pay 5k more to something else like repayments, or am I just being petty?

Make contemporaneous records detailing every single contribution and cost associated with your home.  These will be invaluable when the relationship inevitably ends and you need to pay solicitors (and the courts) to divide the equity between you.

Alternatively, treat your home as something you both own equally and forget about who paid for what.


The latter tends to be the healthier (and cheaper) option. So long as both partners are following the same approach and put it in writing at the start.

andy444

I think it slightly depends on your respective personal circumstances.

If you earn twice as much as your partner then it could be seen as being petty but if you earn similarly and he just happened to have less to put into the deposit then something like you proposed could be seen as being fair.

theartfullodger

You should ensure there are (agreed) records and ditto any arrangements for future financial arrangements.

Relationships do fail.  Artful: on 3rd marriage

nicknameless

I never quite understand supposedly committed relationship where finances are not completely joint, although we are aware of many around us.

We had a joint account from the start - all finances together.  Who earns what irrelevant.

74jax

natkirt said:

My partner and I have just bought our first home. I contributed 5k more than he did to the house deposit. Should I ask him to pay 5k more to something else like repayments, or am I just being petty?

How do you own the property, did you go 100/100 or 50/50 or relative to what was put down? 

elsien

Do you not think that this is a conversation you should have had with him before you both signed on the dotted line?

Doesn't bode well if you have to ask a load of strangers on an internet forum rather than the person you've just made one of the biggest financial commitments of your life with. 

Doozergirl

My husband and I, before he was that, always agreed that if we split up we would both get back the deposit that we put in and split the rest 50/50. 

We never wrote it down and 25 years later it's totally irrelevant, but it might be an idea! 

goodwithsaving

nicknameless said:

I never quite understand supposedly committed relationship where finances are not completely joint, although we are aware of many around us.

We had a joint account from the start - all finances together.  Who earns what irrelevant.

All subjective. You can have a committed relationship for 30+ years, and still maintain separate bank accounts and separate finances with an equal division of bills. This accounts for many (happy) couples I know. 
II've been burned once, and fortunately kept my finances separate (aside from the house). I actually don't want to live with anybody again or own another asset with anybody else, and certainly won't marry unless a prenuptial agreement was in place and legally enforceable. Sad, given my young age, but it is what it is. People have different perspectives and different thoughts.
I also think who earns what and who owns what is relevant if meeting once assets have been acquired by one, or both. 

Monsternextdoor

nicknameless said:

I never quite understand supposedly committed relationship where finances are not completely joint, although we are aware of many around us.

We had a joint account from the start - all finances together.  Who earns what irrelevant.

Many many years married and we do not have joint accounts, The money in either account is 'our' money, It still ends up in the family pot, just depends who pays at the time.