Money Moral Dilemma: Should we change the way we split household costs because we're having a baby?

MamaMicah

Other people have put it perfectly: You are committing to a life together in a permanent way - bringing a new life into the world will turn your lives upside down, bring immeasurable joy but also put pressures on your relationship in ways you had no idea was possible. 

You have weighed this all up and are ready for that step - your relationship will be forever cemented by this new life whatever happens. The best way to demonstrate trust and love is to model healthy trust and love to your child. You and your partner are a unit - everything should be in common, income, expenditure, worries, joys, every last bed sheet and teaspoon! 

Yes it’s massive but surely you want the best for your child and that starts with modelling the best in your own relationship. If you start deliberating over who lays what, you enter a dark place where time and effort isn’t valued, only money. 

Start afresh, open a joint account or several, pool everything. You’re a family. Enjoy!

HappySad

Every couple will be different. Great you are reaching out to consider what others have done. 

We both work & have kids together. 

My husband pays me a lump sum each month from his account. I pay all bills and living costs. The money he has left he keeps in his own separate account and spends on what he wants or saves. He usually pays when we go for occasional meals out. 

After I’ve paid all bills, subscriptions, living costs like food etc and I pay for all kids costs like clothes, phones.  If these costs increase I ask for a bigger lump sum from husband.  I spend or save what is left.  

Elliott.T123

No kids together but married for 3 years. We have a single account that all the money goes into and within reason we both spend whatever we like out of that. If one of us wants to buy something that is a luxury item that is over a certain amount then it becomes a joint decision but only for luxury items. Works well for us as we both have similar spending habits, I would say we both fall into some sort of middle ground in that we definitely aren't super frugal but we absolutely don't go over the top or spend on unnecessary items.

crmism

As you aren't married, there's no reason why you should merge both earnings. During the time when your partner isn't working, you need to look upon yourself as the breadwinner of the family and bear all household and other monthly expenses, assuming your own earnings are adequate. If they aren't, then why not open a joint account into which all earnings go, and from which all costs are met?