Dog dilemma

Always_the_realist

I’ve recently moved house (bungalow) and have spent the last three months updating it at great expense and living in a building site. Thankfully it’s now finished and I absolutely love it. This is the dilemma. My brother snd sister in law will be visiting briefly for a couple of hours. My SIL is not the easiest of people but we all get along as no one would ever want to upset my brother who adores her (they’ve been married 30 years). They have 2 dogs and, like in my last place, she will walk in with the dogs racing around knowing i don’t want them in my house. I know that if I say sorry could you leave them outside please she’ll walk out taking my brother with her. She did something similar to my elderly mother after she’d had a new carpet fitted. (They live away) Said if the dogs aren’t welcome then he’s not coming to stay. My mother gave in!  My feeling is to stand my ground. Any views? 

swampduck

If you have a garden - plan to entertain outside! That way you will limit the time the animals spend indoors. To be fair if my family had animals that were badly behaved or just energetic - I'd be meeting up a local pub that allows animals - saying what a nice change to be able to meet up out in the fresh air!!

Mistral001

I would certaily not say that they should leave their dogs outside.  Even the most pleasant of dog owners, would just leave altogether and a large proportion of those would probably not want to come back again.   If you definitely do not want their dogs in the house, then you should tell your brother before they come.  

Always_the_realist

I have but they’ll want to see the work I’ve done so being inside can’t be avoided. They’re stopping off on their way to my mum. And the forecast is rain 🤣🤣

Always_the_realist

Mistral001 said:

I would certaily not say that they should leave their dogs outside.  Even the most pleasant of dog owners, would just leave altogether and a large proportion of those would probably not want to come back again.   If you definitely do not want their dogs in the house, then you should tell your brother before they come.  

I’m pretty taken aback by your reply. You must be a dog owner and or lover. I like dogs but not in my house and she knows that. 

TBagpuss

I think it is totally up to you to decide whether you will allow dogs (either these dogs, or dogs in general) in your home. It's not unreasonable at all to have a 'no dogs in the house' rule. 

I would suggest that you let your brother know in advance, that you won't be able to have the dogs inside the house.

And also consider whether there is any compromise you can offer - for instance,  depending on the lay out of your house, is there a room (utility room would be ideal, if you have one!) which the dogs can be in, rather than having free range, so they aren't being left outside o their own, 

Alternatively you could let them know that you will need them to keep the dog on a short lead so it's completely under their control inside the house, if you could cope with that.

Another option would be to prepare to entertain them outside - and then if you do show them over your new home or they need to use the bathroom you can tell them that you don't want the fogs inside, but hopefully them being outside for the short time that would take would be do-able, and if necessary one of them can stay with the dogs while the other looks round.

Finally, think about what you will do if they ignore you. If they show up and you SIL tried to bring the dogs inside, what will your response be? It's fine for it to be "No, no dogs"  and to stand your ground but if you plan ahead you're less likely to end up regretting it (e.g. if you plan in advance whether in that situation you will grit your teeth and let her in, demand that she put them on a short leash for all the time they are indoors, or stand firm and accept that she may leave, taking your brother with her, then you're les likely to do one thing and wish you hadn't) 

Always_the_realist

Thank you for that I do have a utility and that’s a very good idea but she will still react the same. My mum is in her 90’s and lives alone. What she did to her was nothing short of bullying. She’s also quite cruel to my mum when she goes to stay there.  My brother says nothing and my mum just wants to keep the peace. 

Malthusian

Mistral001 said:

I would certaily not say that they should leave their dogs outside.  Even the most pleasant of dog owners, would just leave altogether and a large proportion of those would probably not want to come back again.

The most pleasant of dog owners would respect the householder's wishes and leave their dogs at home, with someone else, or outside. In the OP's case, if none of that was feasible, they would say to their husband "I can't leave the dogs but you go and visit your sister, send my love".

Mistral001

Always_the_realist said:

Mistral001 said:

I would certaily not say that they should leave their dogs outside.  Even the most pleasant of dog owners, would just leave altogether and a large proportion of those would probably not want to come back again.   If you definitely do not want their dogs in the house, then you should tell your brother before they come.  

I’m pretty taken aback by your reply. You must be a dog owner and or lover. I like dogs but not in my house and she knows that. 

Yes I am a dog owner.  I did not know that they were just stopping off on the way to somewhere else.  You said they were coming for a couple of hours.   Most dog owners would not want  to keep their dogs outside for two hours unless they accompanied them the whole time.  In fact they would not want to leave them outside unaccompanied for any time.  

You could suggest to your brother that you show them the house one at a time while one of them look after the dogs outside. Or better still, get somebody to take them for a walk while your brother and SIL see the house.

GBNI

Malthusian said:

Mistral001 said:

I would certaily not say that they should leave their dogs outside.  Even the most pleasant of dog owners, would just leave altogether and a large proportion of those would probably not want to come back again.

The most pleasant of dog owners would respect the householder's wishes and leave their dogs at home, with someone else, or outside. In the OP's case, if none of that was feasible, they would say to their husband "I can't leave the dogs but you go and visit your sister, send my love".

I'm with you. I own 2 large dogs and would never dream of behaving like SiL. I always check prior to bringing my dogs anywhere and if I knew the person didn't like dogs being in house I wouldn't ask, I would just leave them at home or arrange to have them minded.

74jax

If they are just stopping off its harder, they can't be left in the car.

Just show 1 round at a time.