have you ever asked your family for money?

MalMonroe

I'd rather starve. Pride gets in my way and I really would rather struggle along than let family members (or indeed anyone in the world) know that I was having problems. A relative lives with me and I once asked if she was in a position to pay me her board a couple of weeks early to help out and she did so but that's about as far as I've ever gone. Not really a loan in that case though, just an advance on a payment due to me anyway. 

Once families start borrowing and lending and squabbling about money, that's the end of family relationships. I've seen it happen all too often. My Mum always said 'if you lend anyone anything, you should be prepared never to see it (money or items) again. If you do see it again, that's a bonus'. It's so true. But I just couldn't borrow. No.

Pennylane

Never borrowed or loaned money.  Every now and again I have a mad moment and I give my kids a few hundred quid as a surprise and because I can afford to but they have never asked to borrow money.

My parents were never in a position to give us money but they did other things for us like decorating, babysitting and providing all veg and salad stuff from their garden.

My inlaws were very well off but never gave us anything.  

maman

My parents were very generous with me too so it's natural for me to be generous with my girls. We often give them gifts of money just because we can. DH's family didn't have money to spare but were generous in other ways like childcare and putting us up between properties. 

DD2 asked just the once and although she would have paid us back we preferred to make it a gift. We gave the same to her sister at the time but didn't tell her why.

It's obvious from the posts that there are lots of different family dynamics that make this a sensitive topic. 

george4064

My partner and I once borrowed some money from her father, it was for a car purchase which we had budgeted for but one of our regular savers was maturing the following month. We paid the money back once the RS matured, effectively it was an advance on the RS maturing.

Other than that, havent borrowed from friends or family.

Brie

I asked my mom for the price of a house. 

We were going through a very tricky move and things were taking much longer than anticipated and it all looked like it was going to fall apart.  My mom had just sold a large commercial property and was complaining about the low interest rates and not knowing where to invest.  So I said "give it to me".  I also added that it should all be done properly, via a solicitor with an agreed amount of interest to be paid and repayment terms.

And she said no.  This is after paying similar money a decade earlier to one brother for a house renovation and also having bought another brother a house 2 years earlier.  

I still talk to my mom and my brothers but the whole situation still bothers me an incredible amount.  Why them but not me?  I wish I hadn't asked.

Pollycat

Brie said:

I asked my mom for the price of a house. 

We were going through a very tricky move and things were taking much longer than anticipated and it all looked like it was going to fall apart.  My mom had just sold a large commercial property and was complaining about the low interest rates and not knowing where to invest.  So I said "give it to me".  I also added that it should all be done properly, via a solicitor with an agreed amount of interest to be paid and repayment terms.

And she said no.  This is after paying similar money a decade earlier to one brother for a house renovation and also having bought another brother a house 2 years earlier.  

I still talk to my mom and my brothers but the whole situation still bothers me an incredible amount.  Why them but not me? 
I wish I hadn't asked.

Did you ask your mom the question in bold?
I know a lot of posters on here feel siblings should be treated the same but my personal experience is that I haven't been treated the same as my 2 siblings.
And I have no problem with that.
I've not needed money from my parents and they have.
But...if I had needed money and they'd given freely to one or more siblings and refused me, I'd want to know why.

maman

Pollycat said:

I know a lot of posters on here feel siblings should be treated the same but my personal experience is that I haven't been treated the same as my 2 siblings.
And I have no problem with that.
I've not needed money from my parents and they have.
But...if I had needed money and they'd given freely to one or more siblings and refused me, I'd want to know why.

We still treat our girls the same although I know DD2 has been helped massively by the other side of her family paying off the mortgage for her.

My MIL was one who helped the siblings most in need. They tended to be the lame dogs (or should that be ducks?) in DH's family. It upset him as he knew they'd put themselves in that situation by being irresponsible but I think she just liked to be needed. I tried to tell him she was proud of the fact that he'd made a success of his life but it still hurt him although he still helped her when she needed him. 

Flugelhorn

I loaned my parents money when they were moving house, was paid back when the sale went through  - years later I was managing mother;s money and discovered she had had more than enough in a savings account, possibly just hadn't want to tell father she had the money.

 
Families can be very odd - I just give my kids money rather than loan it

AntoMac

An interesting question. All families are different so there’s not really a right answer.
My Mum would always lend me money without hesitation but I’ve never taken her up on it, as she would be reluctant for me to pay her back! Says she wants me to have it while she’s alive but just doesn’t sit right with me.
She did lend to my niece for her to buy a car. She let my niece off the last few payments, which is the exact reason I wouldn’t borrow from her.
I have a mate who got into a right financial mess a few years ago. Now he regularly bails his own family out with short term loans, but always gets repaid in full.

[Deleted User]

I asked my mum to lend me £2000 to help with moving cities for a better job.  I didn't skirt around or drop hints I just straight out asked her and told her why I wanted to borrow the money.  My mum lent me the money.  My dad was horrified so my mum asked him, "if Fred [my brother] asked for the money would you give it to him?  Exactly, you would, the difference is we're going to see this money back."  And see it back they did a month later.