Vendor is insistent on visiting after completion

Carrot007

Josiea said:

OH, and he knocked on our door at 9.30pm telling us he’s expecting a parking fine coming through the door and that if we didn’t give it to him when it arrived that we could end up with bailiffs at our door.

And the answer was... No I will bin it and you will end up with a CCJ by default for not providing them your current details. There will be no bailiffs, they are not going to send them at cost when they no it's probably the wrong address (you will get many chances to tell them), they will give him a CCJ which will eventually be tied up to his new address and cauase him problems. It will cause you none.

prowla

Anything with a return address on it - mark it RTS and put it in a post box.

If bailiffs, or any other door-knockers arrive, give them his address and tell them to go away (do NOT let them in!).

BikingBud

Josiea said:

BikingBud said:

I'm not sure what is legally correct or incorrect in these circumstances and it seems that many others are not sure either but after 11 pages what is clear is that there are some who consider even a minor inconvenience to help others such a significant burden that they should not and will not extend a courtesy of giving a little.

It's endemic behaviour; manners and courtesy towards others seem to be of a bygone era, on the roads, in shops, travelling on public transport, in all aspects of daily interaction, selfishness takes over.

How do we get to the stage where we are so far detached from other people and are unwilling to tolerate and give a little time and empathy for others?

Not sure if you read my comments saying that we literally did everything to help him. Including allowing him to leave a shed and garage full for two weeks until he cleared it, as we understood it is often hard to downsize. We printed off the homebuyers report and delivered it to him, rather than emailing as we understood he was not tech savvy. We allowed him to leave multiple large items of furniture and a small piano worth absolutely nothing, just so he could move into his new property with ease. 

And can I just note, he had purchased his new property in a separate transaction, so our purchase was chain free (no completion dates holding him back from moving his belongings earlier than he did). 

I have even offered to help him set up a redirection, change his v5 address etc.

But he is still bothering us, and I believe he is well and truly taking pure advantage of our kindness. 

Obviously there will come a point where the situation becomes intolerable to you but some of the comments on here would almost have you believe that your first born was about to be sacrificed. My response was not aimed at you but some of the others on here having their own petty rants and showing indignation by proxy. My point was that only you know what your tolerance level is and where on the scale you currently are and also your understanding his mental state where he may require a little bit of assistance, this may for both parties ensure a better outcome. Calling the police does seem a little excessive.

That said it does seem that "bother" to some is just being helpful and giving a little bit of time for others.

Skiddaw1

Hmm... to be honest, I think it's gone way past the point of being neighbourly and kind. Whatever the reasons behind his behaviour, it isn't acceptable. The OP is not his social worker/support worker and shoudn't be forced into that role. It's inappropriate and not fair on any of the parties involved. I'm with the general concensus- it's time to be assertive and refuse to play the game any longer. If he becomes difficult there may be no choice but to involve the police (obviously a last resort).

Cakeguts

Do you have a CCTV camera?  I only ask this because if he keeps turning up it could be possible that he also turns up and has a bit of a look around when you are out?   What he is doing is not normal behaviour so it will be difficult to find the extent of what he is doing because none of it is in within the boundary of being normal. 

Jude57

He may find that a CCJ is not the only consequence of failing to advise DVLA of his current address. It starts with £1000 fine and I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss THAT item of post.

I'd be keeping a diary of all unwanted contact, just in case. He probably is harmless but it's just as well to be prepared to provide proof of harassment straight away if you do end up involving police. You'll be able to show his course of conduct over a period of time, not just the one incident that finally pushes you over the line.

None of the 'reasons' any of us can imagine for the man's behaviour, nor indeed whether he intends to cause concern to the OP matter. The OP has done more than most people would do and I agree with all who say it's time to stop being helpful and start being assertive. I can't help but wonder if an older, less helpful person was present next time he calls, to tell him in no uncertain terms to go away and not return for any reason, would finally get through to him.

Norman_Castle

elsien said:

If bailiffs turn up, all OP has to do is show it’s nothing to do with them and they will go away again. 

Or give them his new address and ask if they can take his post with them.

Davesnave

Oh dear, this thread still coming round and annoying me a couple of weeks after people gave perfectly good answers to it. I think it may have issues. Try to be kind, everyone.  

Emmia

Is there any chance this thread could be closed? 

TBagpuss

Josiea said:

elsien said:

Block his number so you don’t get any texts. Stop answering the door to him. 

Any CCJs he gets because of not telling people he’s moved are his problem, not yours. 

Stopping responding and sending his post back as return to sender does sound like your best bet. 

What did you say when he knocked on the door - sounds to me like a blunt “sort your own post out because we’re not holding it for you or passing it on any more; any consequences are down to you” is the only message that is likely to get through. 

I suspect you’re still being polite to his face. You don’t need to be rude. You do need to be assertive and very clear indeed. 

I told him he needs to change his details with the dvla, he made up some excuse why he couldn’t, i offered to help him with it and he declined. Then I told him he needs to get a redirection, which he clearly hasn’t as he’s texting me asking for me to keep vouchers that he gets in the post. He is just a strange strange strange man who thinks he can take advantage of two 20 year olds that are clearly too kind 😂. 

It does sound as though he is, for whatever reason, determined not to solve the issue himself. I thin kin the circumstances you need to make a decision about what you are and are not prepared to do.

• You would be perfectly fine to block his number, tell him to stop coming and that you will no longer be holding  any post, anything that arrives will be marked RTS or binned.

• If you do that and he keeps showing up, you would also be perfectly within your rights to tell him explicitly that he is to stop and that you will regard it as harassment if he continues.

• If you don't want to go down that route, you an also try to 'wean' him off - that might mean that you don't respond to texts or calls, don't answer the door every time he calls round - in other words, make it less convenient for him. At the same time, you can tell him  that anything that looks official (such as anything from the DVLA or that appears to be a parking fine or similar) will be returned to sender immediately, to ensure that any relevant body is made aware they have the wrong address

• You can also give him a firm deadline - tell him he needs to sort out proper redirection and update his address with third parties, and that as of [date] you will no longer save or forward anything.

• If he makes comments about bailiffs then I'd go for the very cheery repose "Well, of course that won't be a problem for us, as we'll have no problem providing to them that the debt is not ours, but of course it will cause *you* massive problems as of curse it it gets to that point you'll have missed all your opportunities to pay your debt, or challenge it, and could end up with country court judgments and additional costs and all sorts.  It's no skin of our noses but I can't understand why you'd be willing to risk all that!