Three years to get debt free

Willowtree222

Ex's money not come in. I think in the last 12 months, it's come in on time and in the morning around 4 times. 

Sometimes it can come in as late as 4pm. It's a standing order so quite surprising. 

Just watching the news on the crash. That's awful what's happened.

Also, watching about shop lifting as well. I was heading into a local small shop on Tuesday and a man just walked out with 3 bottles of wine. The staff were stood there trying to stop him but they told me they can't touch him as it's classed as physical assault so all they can do is ask them to put them down. I find it mind blowing they can just go and take anything. 

Money isn't great with maintenance not coming in. I booked DD another lesson last night too. I can always move money out of savings. 
X

Willowtree222

Still no money from ex. I've asked him to check so waiting for him to come back to me.

Tomorrow DD has an inset day off school so I've planned to take her out in the afternoon. It felt nice to switch off my alarm for the morning. Even at the weekends, we have to get up for clubs. 

No huge progress with decluttering this week, I hope to start again next week. I've done bits and pieces, but not a huge change. I still need to do the dreaded wardrobe. That's one i have been procrastinating. 

Money should be OK when Ex's money comes in. DD has a support worker now for her autism and a chance once a week to learn strategies. It's private so a cost of £50, but hoping it works for her. I asked ex to support by paying half, he didn't respond. If he struggles to pay £200 on time every month, then I really have no chance. 

Last of the bills are due on Monday, so will evaluate where I am then. 

Sun_Addict

So cross with your ex on your behalf 🤬 He should support his daughter! 

alipops1986

Hi Willowtree, 

I'm reader of your diary but don't usually comment. 

However, I wanted to ask how you've gone about finding a support worker for your daughter to support her with her autism? 

My son (Aged 10) was diagnosed privately with Autism last year, and we have been trying to find additional support for him around his emotions and applying the tools he's learnt to situations when they arise. He doesn't have an EHCP, and we are told that he wouldn't meet the requirement for that but he struggles so much in social situations, that's when the issues can arise. 

 I'd be interested in any suggestions or advice you might have about how you went about finding a support worker? 

Willowtree222

Sun_Addict said:

So cross with your ex on your behalf 🤬 He should support his daughter! 

Thanks, Sun. 

I've had almost 7 years of it. He's never even asked about supporting with uniform or anything. In the early days, I think I asked for half for things, but he's never agreed. He's paid £200 for the past six years no matter what is happening. He'll never change. He wears his nice clothes, couple of rolex watches.

I'm past the point of even caring now. My conscious is clear with DD and the reality is she can see and make her own mind up. When she asks questions, I don't lie.

Reading about your cat 'scrapper' made me laugh x 

Willowtree222

alipops1986 said:

Hi Willowtree, 

I'm reader of your diary but don't usually comment. 

However, I wanted to ask how you've gone about finding a support worker for your daughter to support her with her autism? 

My son (Aged 10) was diagnosed privately with Autism last year, and we have been trying to find additional support for him around his emotions and applying the tools he's learnt to situations when they arise. He doesn't have an EHCP, and we are told that he wouldn't meet the requirement for that but he struggles so much in social situations, that's when the issues can arise. 

 I'd be interested in any suggestions or advice you might have about how you went about finding a support worker? 

Hi, 

I googled for counsellors initially and he's just set up in my area and is autistic himself so it was like fate. Other than the support groups, I wouldn't know where to start. I was trying to find someone who would help with her regulating emotions and social situations as well, especially now she is getting hormonal. 

If you're in England, you can actually apply as a parent for an EHCP if you think it is necessary. It is hard though, if school aren't on side, but not impossible. I have supported several parents apply directly and got them through. Sometimes on appeal. I am a SENCo though, so know the system. Happy to help if you want to message me privately on here to check your local authorities expectations. 

Have you joined any local to you support groups? They might have some workshops and groups as well. I just fell really lucky with her and finding him. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. 
X

StickyTheStickInsect

alipops1986 said:

Hi Willowtree, 

I'm reader of your diary but don't usually comment. 

However, I wanted to ask how you've gone about finding a support worker for your daughter to support her with her autism? 

My son (Aged 10) was diagnosed privately with Autism last year, and we have been trying to find additional support for him around his emotions and applying the tools he's learnt to situations when they arise. He doesn't have an EHCP, and we are told that he wouldn't meet the requirement for that but he struggles so much in social situations, that's when the issues can arise. 

 I'd be interested in any suggestions or advice you might have about how you went about finding a support worker? 

Alipops, I was going to comment about your son's EHCP, not realising that Willow was a SENCO but I'll add what I planned to anyway. 
My DS (ASD/ADHD/DCD) and academically able has an EHCP as he finds the social/emotional side of things very challenging. I applied myself and not throught the school, although they were supportive. We ended up 2 weeks away from tribunal when the council conceeded but we got there in the end! DS managed without an EHCP in Primary but it's been much needed for Secondary, he's currently in year 7.
I'm also happy for you to DM me, if you'd like to discuss or I can help in anyway. 
Depending on what area your are in, I can recommend who we work with for support, although I know they aren't nationwide.
The system is inherently broken and the best piece of advice I could probably give you is don't believe anything you are told without challenging it and go with your gut.

Willow, I can't think of someone more supportive to be SENCO, DD and your work kids are very lucky!

Willowtree222

StickyTheStickInsect said:

alipops1986 said:

Hi Willowtree, 

I'm reader of your diary but don't usually comment. 

However, I wanted to ask how you've gone about finding a support worker for your daughter to support her with her autism? 

My son (Aged 10) was diagnosed privately with Autism last year, and we have been trying to find additional support for him around his emotions and applying the tools he's learnt to situations when they arise. He doesn't have an EHCP, and we are told that he wouldn't meet the requirement for that but he struggles so much in social situations, that's when the issues can arise. 

 I'd be interested in any suggestions or advice you might have about how you went about finding a support worker? 

Alipops, I was going to comment about your son's EHCP, not realising that Willow was a SENCO but I'll add what I planned to anyway. 
My DS (ASD/ADHD/DCD) and academically able has an EHCP as he finds the social/emotional side of things very challenging. I applied myself and not throught the school, although they were supportive. We ended up 2 weeks away from tribunal when the council conceeded but we got there in the end! DS managed without an EHCP in Primary but it's been much needed for Secondary, he's currently in year 7.
I'm also happy for you to DM me, if you'd like to discuss or I can help in anyway. 
Depending on what area your are in, I can recommend who we work with for support, although I know they aren't nationwide.
The system is inherently broken and the best piece of advice I could probably give you is don't believe anything you are told without challenging it and go with your gut.

Willow, I can't think of someone more supportive to be SENCO, DD and your work kids are very lucky!

Thank you. It's getting harder as the funds are being cut and the specialist school places just aren't there. 

They're very kind words. I do genuinely care. X

Willowtree222

Money came in from ex..not sure why it's late again. 

Didn't have to get up this morning, but wide awake anyway!!

Willowtree222

Today has been nice. DD had an inset day but I still was awake early so had a coffee in front of the fire. 

DD was also up early, but went back to bed to chill. 

I did my food shop and then took her ice skating to practise what she is learning. The counselling appointment went OK once I had removed myself from the room. She can be over reliant on my voice, but after I left, she did open up and form a relationship with him. Hopefully this can last and she has that safe space to talk. I don't know where I'll find the £50 a week from, but i know I'll manage it if it helps her.

She has school tomorrow for a performance she's doing. The teacher has asked for weekend rehearsals. It's a couple of hours, but I'm glad she has the time to do this. Her normal club has been cancelled anyway. 

Next week feels busy but in reality it's not. I think I'm feeling totally overwhelmed recently over tiny things. 

Money wise everything major will be gone on Monday. I think it's just the odd thing after that but nothing huge. 

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend x