Lending money to sibling

Driftingleaf

Honestly, you made a wise decision and knew this could impact your own long term needs. You have had a tough year both you and your partner. It seems odd to me your sibling was the only one seeing the cost for the essential repairs and not her husband too. Why leave out a spouse/partner over the expense of essential maintenance on their house 🤔. Lending money is frankly fraught with hassle unless you are clear and you have it in writing legally to be repaid. The money you carefully invested is yours for a house and you were cautious enough to know you had to think long-term and put your needs first. Good old dad though coming to the rescue as parents do. My sibling owes me some money, it is not lots, about 1500, but I need it back and after 2 plus years all I've had is 100. Yet I see they spent money on pricey clothes or shoes. People can easily ask to borrow, but get quite annoyed unjustly if you ask for it back 😠. 

Pollycat

Driftingleaf said:

Honestly, you made a wise decision and knew this could impact your own long term needs. You have had a tough year both you and your partner. It seems odd to me your sibling was the only one seeing the cost for the essential repairs and not her husband too. Why leave out a spouse/partner over the expense of essential maintenance on their house 🤔. Lending money is frankly fraught with hassle unless you are clear and you have it in writing legally to be repaid. The money you carefully invested is yours for a house and you were cautious enough to know you had to think long-term and put your needs first. Good old dad though coming to the rescue as parents do. My sibling owes me some money, it is not lots, about 1500, but I need it back and after 2 plus years all I've had is 100. Yet I see they spent money on pricey clothes or shoes. People can easily ask to borrow, but get quite annoyed unjustly if you ask for it back 😠. 

The debt your sibling owes to you is clearly not their priority.

Did you discuss repayment amounts and timescales when you loaned them the money?

Flugelhorn

DairyQueen said:

Don't do it! Just... don't.

Large, sibling loans have created nothing but acrimony and estrangement in my extended family.

Even if the loan went smoothly, and even if you weren't disadvantaged by the loan, your family dynamic will change. There is nothing like obligation to cause a sibling to feel resentful. Makes no sense, but I've seen it on more than one occasion.

There are very strict criteria that I would test before handing money to a family member:

1) The need is desperate and not the fault of the donee
2) I could afford to absorb the 'loss' without any detriment to self or spouse
3) It would be a gift
4) It would be a one-off. The family member would be informed never to ask again.

Even then, I know it would change the relationship, and not in a good way.

Anyone considering asking a sibling for a loan. Don't do it. Your are putting your sibling in an impossible situation.

I might add:

5) insist I pay the window company or whoever directly