How do you handle insubordination in kids?

[Deleted User]

bouicca21 said:

I’m having difficulty with the concept of punishing a 2 year old.  That sounds like a parent who has totally unrealistic expectations of age appropriate behaviour.

i hadn’t noticed that my counting to three technique had turned my children into foul mouthed, work shy, feral adults.  I shall have to pay more attention next time I see them.

 I count backwards from 5, he stops by 3, works well for us. 

 Naughty step was always just a giggle or scream the house down! 

 But yes punishment for most kids isn't going to work. They are being taught rights & wrongs not punished. 

 

swingaloo2

bouicca21 said:

I’m having difficulty with the concept of punishing a 2 year old.  That sounds like a parent who has totally unrealistic expectations of age appropriate behaviour.

i hadn’t noticed that my counting to three technique had turned my children into foul mouthed, work shy, feral adults.  I shall have to pay more attention next time I see them.

No one on this thread apart from yourself has mentioned 'punishing' a child. If your children are now well behaved, responsible adults then clearly you brought them up properly. However I doubt that you were using the nothing more than the naughty step when they were in thier teens.  Responsibly parents show love, kindness and teach children respect and  right from wrong, irresponsible parents produce feral, foul mouthed adults and they are becomming the norm.
Its not about 'punishing', we dont have children to punish them. But, we are failing our children if we dont instill a sense of whats right and what is not.

maman

I think the word 'chastising' was used rather than punishing but that's semantics. But how?🤔 It's hardly useful to criticise current methods without offering an alternative. 

swingaloo2

maman said:

I think the word 'chastising' was used rather than punishing but that's semantics. But how?🤔 It's hardly useful to criticise current methods without offering an alternative. 

There cannot be any universal way to parent a child. Every child is individual and needs to be parented in a different way. 
Its not for me to tell someone else what to do. Each parent must find what works best for them.

cbrown372

As the OP is American I think we are wasting time answering anyway.

maman

swingaloo2 said:

maman said:

I think the word 'chastising' was used rather than punishing but that's semantics. But how?🤔 It's hardly useful to criticise current methods without offering an alternative. 

There cannot be any universal way to parent a child. Every child is individual and needs to be parented in a different way. 
Its not for me to tell someone else what to do. Each parent must find what works best for them.

I agree there's no one size fits all but it's hardly helpful to criticise parents who try naughty steps or counting down or whatever without offering anything else. 

NaughtiusMaximus

In cases of repeated insubordination you may have to resort to a court martial.

Boffinman

NaughtiusMaximus said:

In cases of repeated insubordination you may have to resort to a court martial.

Or at least make sure they salute you...

fred246

Can't believe we are taking advice on how to handle insubordination from Naughtius Maximus.

Naomim

Naughty step never worked for me but following through on consequences did. So if they didn't do as I asked (repeatedly) and I'd said they would have no sweets/tv time etc then I carried out my actions. 

However it really depends on the child. My two are chalk & cheese. My 15yo is a sweetheart and do anything for you, whereas my 11yo will not do anything  unless it benefits her.  At the moment, my power lies in withholding pocket money and trips to the park.

I have however had lots of comments on how polite and lovely they are from other parents so I must be doing something right 👍