How do you handle insubordination in kids?

amibar

Hi money savers,

I'd love to know how you deal with your kids.

I mean, how you get them to do this they wouldn't want to do without yelling at them.

Thank you.

[Deleted User]

 Bribery, reward charts, praise, talk to and with them not at them. 

Look at behaviour as a symptom of something bigger, sensory, worries, problems etc and help solve it to get better behaviour. 

maman

I find your title amusing. Do you really think of their behaviour  as insubordination? 🤔

amibar

_shel said:

 Bribery, reward charts, praise, talk to and with them not at them. 

Look at behaviour as a symptom of something bigger, sensory, worries, problems etc and help solve it to get better behaviour. 

wow... thank you!

Username03725

amibar said:

I mean, how you get them to do this they wouldn't want to do without yelling at them.

Try not shouting - or yelling - at them. Kids are kids, they respond more to pleasant environments that continually being shouted at. 

How old? Toddlers, teens, grown up?

sassyblue

Insubordination? You sound 200 years old 

How old are the children and what are you expecting them to do?

One of the best bit of advice I ever heard was don’t tell your children they are naughty, tell them their behaviour is naughty. Subtle but big difference.

maman

sassyblue said:

Insubordination? You sound 200 years old 

That was my thought but OP chose not to respond.

If OP is barking orders to inferiors then I'm not surprised they have a problem. Poor children. ☹️

squirrelchops2

By you and any other adults in the house modelling the type of positive behaviour you expect from them for a start. Praise for things that they do well, however small as this helps to boost self esteem. Choosing your battles - sometimes you have to let things go to focus on the bigger end goal.

oh_really

maman said:

sassyblue said:

Insubordination? You sound 200 years old 

That was my thought but OP chose not to respond.

If OP is barking orders to inferiors then I'm not surprised they have a problem. Poor children. ☹️

Inferiors, poor kids.

MovingForwards

Start while they're young, then they know no different.

rach_k

Logical consequences.  If you're barking random orders at them to do things with no good reason, I can see why they'd ignore you.  Treat them like people. 

Tell them why they are being asked to do something and what the logical consequence will be if they don't.  Be prepared to allow the consequence to happen and always make it a real consequence e.g. "We need to put our shoes on so we can go to the playground.  If you don't put your shoes on, that wouldn't be safe for your feet so we will have to stay at home and be bored."   Then do it. 

I don't like random 'consequences' because they teach nothing about cause and effect and it's obvious you're just making things up to get your way e.g. no shoes = no TV isn't a real consequence.