Non married ex asking to see my accounts

elsien

A prenup wouldn’t make the slightest difference here because they weren’t married. 

janpaul

I do not want to engage with the solicitor without having a solicitor to make sure my wording is correct etc. My belief, as intimated/stated before is that my ex would like a % of my biggest asset ie my house, even though I paid for it pre our relationship. It’s all here.........................“We understand that you are paying a nominal level of child maintenance to our client. We have advised our clients that they could make an application to the Court for one or more of the following Orders:-

 a) Periodical payments for our clients on the children’s behalf, or to the children themselves;

b) Secured periodical payments for our clients on the children’s behalf, or to the children;

c) A lump sum for our clients on the children’s behalf or for the children themselves;

d) Settlement of property for the benefit of the children;

e) Transfer of property to our clients on the children’s behalf or to the children themselves.

 Our client would like to discuss financial maintenance and up-keep of child and to this end would like to invite you to agree to disclose your financial position and assets to her in the hope that an agreement can be reached regarding the maintenance of child and his future. “

TIA

janpaul

justworriedabit said:

elsien said:

A prenup wouldn’t make the slightest difference here because they weren’t married. 

I wholeheartedly and totally disagree with you  100%.

It may not be called a prenup but I stand by what I have said re married people prenups and those living like a couple. Yep, don't take my word for it as there is a mass of info on the net that supports prenup or similar agreements for those living outside wedlock.
Just one of the many sites that agrees with my stance
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/consumer-advice/money/a30870044/prenups-explained/
I therefore recommend that everyone going into a marriage or similar consider a prenup or something that is the same but different in name only if you are wanting to live together as a couple.
Thank you.

I see what you are saying but my ex never paid one bill and I actually paid her a monthly sum once she became mother to our child. She had no money so I paid for everything and when we split I paid half her rent and gave her a car until I was made redundant last year and now abide to Child support maintenance (they check my HMRC earnings/tax) ... so I’m hoping ignoring solicitors and it will go away 🤞

68ComebackSpecial

Do you still have regular contact with your child? Is she likely to frustrate contact if you don't engage with her, even if it's to demonstrate that you are paying all that you can/ are obliged to?

janpaul

68ComebackSpecial said:

Do you still have regular contact with your child? Is she likely to frustrate contact if you don't engage with her, even if it's to demonstrate that you are paying all that you can/ are obliged to?

Contact is fine I would think. She knows I’m a good dad. I’m only really concerned about her coming for my main asset ie my house. It seems there are disparate views on here

sheramber

So she is not claiming for herself.  She is claiming on behalf your son. She wants money from the house for your( joint) child's future. Either paid direct to the child or to her on behalf of the child.

I do not want to engage with the solicitor without having a solicitor to make sure my wording is correct etc. 
You need to consult your own solicitor now. 

justworriedabit

elsien said:

A prenup wouldn’t make the slightest difference here because they weren’t married. 

I wholeheartedly and totally disagree with you  100% as you are wrong as I am clearly implying to contracts and the
only difference is the name they go by. My post clearly state what these contracts hope to achieve if a partnership goes wrong.

It may not be called a prenup but I stand by what I have said re married people prenups and those living like a couple. 
Perhaps  don't take my word for it as there is a mass of info on the net that supports prenup or similar agreements for those living outside wedlock.
Just one of the many sites that agrees with my stance and it is very, very clear.

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/consumer-advice/money/a30870044/prenups-explained/
I therefore recommend that everyone going into a marriage or similar consider a prenup or something that is the same but different in name only if you are wanting to live together as a couple. Prenup or whatever you want to call it, draw up a contract via solicitors if you want to safeguard your hard  work and not get kicked when you are down.
Thanks.

justworriedabit

janpaul said:

68ComebackSpecial said:

Do you still have regular contact with your child? Is she likely to frustrate contact if you don't engage with her, even if it's to demonstrate that you are paying all that you can/ are obliged to?

Contact is fine I would think. She knows I’m a good dad. I’m only really concerned about her coming for my main asset ie my house. It seems there are disparate views on here

Please be prepared as best as possible.
Assume she will get a lot, lot more than she deserves and this will make you even more eager to keep what is rightly yours.
I hate to say this but from what I have seen, when people don't get what they want in break ups even though they do not deserve it, things can quickly change. There, be prepared for possible untruths. I hope it never happens but at least you will be prepared should that happen.

68ComebackSpecial

justworriedabit said:

janpaul said:

68ComebackSpecial said:

Do you still have regular contact with your child? Is she likely to frustrate contact if you don't engage with her, even if it's to demonstrate that you are paying all that you can/ are obliged to?

Contact is fine I would think. She knows I’m a good dad. I’m only really concerned about her coming for my main asset ie my house. It seems there are disparate views on here

Please be prepared as best as possible.
Assume she will get a lot, lot more than she deserves and this will make you even more eager to keep what is rightly yours.
I hate to say this but from what I have seen, when people don't get what they want in break ups even though they do not deserve it, things can quickly change. There, be prepared for possible untruths. I hope it never happens but at least you will be prepared should that happen.

Stop pedalling untruths yourself. As your signature states that you will report posts which are unsubstantiated then please have the decency to make factually correct posts and include your sources - something you are going to struggle with in this case.

Weathergirl_76

I’m not a lawyer, but the key phrase in the letter is ‘we would like to invite you’... presumably if you say no, they will apply to the Court for that info to be released. My advice is don’t ignore it, get some legal advice and find out where you stand and what you need to do.