County Court Claim - NCP Parking outstayed by 20 mins

Monseymoo

@Redx great thanks so how is the below:

2.       It is admitted that the Defendant was the registered keeper and driver of the vehicle in question but liability is denied.  

3.       The defendant returned to their vehicle within the 1 hour paid duration, upon entering their car they realised that their wallet was not in their bag.  They then checked under the car foot well to see if it had fallen out, upon realising it wasn’t in the vehicle they retraced their steps along the car park and down to the main high street to try and locate their wallet.  They then went to the last store they had visited where the wallet had been used.  Upon visiting the store the defendant was told by the security guard checking after that a wallet had indeed been handed into customer services.  The defendant provided details of what was in the contents of the wallet to the customer services desk to validate identity and left the store with the wallet to return back to the vehicle.  The defendant entered their vehicle and left the car park relieved that the wallet had been located to return home.

KeithP

Your para 3 needs a rewrite.

Apart from the first half of the first sentence, the rest of para 3 is fodder for your Witness Statement, but I'm not too sure it has much relevance there either.

Monseymoo

@KeithP can you expand on your feedback a bit more?  I am trying to explain the sequence of events and why it took 20 mins to leave the car park.  I thought if I just wrote I left my wallet in a store obtained it then returned to the car that is a bit vague and not reflective of why it took 20 mins?  Thanks again

nosferatu1001

Why are you explaining so much, when that info wil be in the WS?
The purpose of 3 is a short, concise summary of events such as the typoe of car park. NOT a narration of the days activities. 

KeithP

Your Witness Statement is where you tell your story.
Your Defence is the place for legal arguments.

Le_Kirk

You only need the bare bones in the defence.  As @KeithP states, save the rest for the Witness Statement.  It merely needs to say something along the lines of "defendant/driver was prevented from prompt exit due to (possible) loss of wallet".

Monseymoo

Ok understood thanks - at what point do I create the witness statement and can you point me to where examples of witness statements are?  I have reworded the paragraph let me know your thoughts on this now:

3.       The defendant parked at a NCP car park on the date in question.  The defendant returned to their vehicle within the 1 hour paid duration, upon entering their car they realised that their wallet was not in their bag.  The defendant was able to locate the wallet after it had been handed it to a local shop.  The defendant then left the car park to return home.

KeithP

Monseymoo said:

Ok understood thanks - at what point do I create the witness statement and can you point me to where examples of witness statements are?

The second post of the NEWBIES thread addresses those points.

Redx

The WS is submitted in several months time , along with any Exhibits , the newbies FAQ sticky thread post 2 has the timeline , have you read it ?? I thought not , lol

Witness statements ? The newbies thread plus in other recent court cases , check the cases that have concluded in the last year , use the forum Search box etc

Yes that is looking better

Monseymoo

Thanks I will re-read I'll look to get this defense submitted next week