Things you wish you had known before baby was born.

Brambling

Babies won't care if you don't buy Christmas/ birthday presents for the first couple of years or if you ask family and friends for essentials rather than expensive toys. 

And from a work colleague before buying an expensive pushchair check it will fix in the boot of all your cars especially if one of you drives a small car. Some pushchairs are quite big even when collapsed

barbiedoll

I work with new parents (and babies) and after watching a couple carrying their newborn in their arms, walking on slippery pavements in today's snowy weather, can I advise you to make sure that you get your pram BEFORE the baby arrives?

Breastfeeding can be really hard, and a really horrible experience for some mums. No-one should be made to feel guilty for their feeding choices, and you don't have to ask for permission from a midwife, health visitor or anyone else if you want to give your baby a bottle of formula. You won't poison them, nor will your milk instantly dry up, nor will their I.Q drop by several points. And after a few years, you'll watch while they live on a diet of chicken and chips, mars bars and the occasional banana, so don't beat yourself up over it.

It's the hardest job you'll ever do, so don't feel bad about looking forward to going back to work, most of us consider work to be a break from parenting, and at least you get a lunch break at work!

bex2012

Based on having lots of nieces and nephews....
Boy babies get erections... girls can bleed in the first couple of weeks (apparently it’s something to do with mum’s hormones).

keep boys willies covered when you undo the nappy, as the cooler air can lead to a face full of pee. Buy the biggest muslins you can find (tk maxx are good for these), actually just get lots of muslins, full stop. A sunshade for the car window really helps. Buy a pram with lie flat mode or carrycot, and use it. Babies shouldnt be left in car seats whilst you wander around the shops, its not good for their heads, neck and back.

The most important one? Talk to your baby. Have conversations with them, tell them what you are doing. Yes you’ll feel silly at first, but thats how children learn the art of conversation, how/when to respond etc. I hate seeing adults marching along, headphones in, completely ignoring the child.

izawa

Having no kids means life is much easier. I wish I had known that.

Retireby40

izawa said:

Having no kids means life is much easier. I wish I had known that.

Easier no doubt it is. Fulfilling and meaningful possibly not. I guess it depends on your kids and relationships with them. If you want to share your experience and reason for your views would be great to hear another perspective.

hob_nob_bob

I'm loving reading this thread! Currently trying for my first baby and some of this is eye opening!

JosephK

Whatever the various advice books/rule books/baby books say, the babies have read none of them.

Retireby40

hob_nob_bob said:

I'm loving reading this thread! Currently trying for my first baby and some of this is eye opening!

Good luck!!! Yeah its good to know information especially the first year or two when everything is guess work and to a degree trial and error.

Naomim

bex2012 said:

Based on having lots of nieces and nephews....
Boy babies get erections... girls can bleed in the first couple of weeks (apparently it’s something to do with mum’s hormones).

keep boys willies covered when you undo the nappy, as the cooler air can lead to a face full of pee. Buy the biggest muslins you can find (tk maxx are good for these), actually just get lots of muslins, full stop. A sunshade for the car window really helps. Buy a pram with lie flat mode or carrycot, and use it. Babies shouldnt be left in car seats whilst you wander around the shops, its not good for their heads, neck and back.

The most important one? Talk to your baby. Have conversations with them, tell them what you are doing. Yes you’ll feel silly at first, but thats how children learn the art of conversation, how/when to respond etc. I hate seeing adults marching along, headphones in, completely ignoring the child.

After having two babies, the best buggy I ever used was a Maclaren umbrella fold that your could lie flat. Got it 2nd hand on ebay for £80 it did both kids and various trips abroad.  I did have the lovely ones, one was too wide to navigate shops and too big for my boot so you had to remove the wheels. What a faff! 

Tsj90s

Sometimes 'Health Care Professionals' dont know best. Any drs or nurses on here please dont take my comment the wrong way, however when my son was born I knew something wasnt quite right. This is our story so far; He was very unsettled, colicky, screaming. It took 6 weeks and 4 phone calls in one week to get a diagnosis of silent reflux, to which I received gaviscon which didnt help the problem at all. Luckily 8 weeks old my health visitor pushed for a new medication, omeprazole which has worked wonders, however not eradicated trapped wind and bad nappies. We started Aptamil Pepti 1 hydrolysed milk formula At 16 weeks (still contains cows milk but broken down).I was told by a consultant because my son didnt improve on the pepti 1 milk he didnt have an intolerance and to put him back on normal formula. Wrong. My health visitor disagreed and got him a perscription for Neocate which contains NO cows milk. Low and behold, no wind, no mucousy nappies, nothing. We dont have any sort of diagnosis at the moment, but a new GP I've changed to has agreed that if its helping him he will be staying on it. I guess my points are:
1. dont let anyone fob you off, if somethings not right, keep going back.

2. Sometimes the experts are more interested in leaving things untreated, the amount of times I've heard the phrase "He will grow out of it". Still waiting for that day to come.......
3. No matter what you've heard about health visitors and how they are out to get you, I've learnt they really arent, especially mine. I was so nervous for her coming round but shes done nothing but try and make my life easier and fight my corner, going above and beyond for us. 

OH last thing... if your child is born with a cone shaped head or anything like that MAKE SURE THEY MAKE A NOTE OF IT ON THE DISCHARGE PAPERS!!! Again someone not doing their job properly resulted in taking a unsettled 3 day old to the hospital because no one noted it on his paperwork that he had it at birth. 

Babies are hard work, they require a lot of attention and in my case entertainment 24/7!!!