Things you wish you had known before baby was born.

Retireby40

Hello!!
Just wanted some advice regarding things you wish you had known before your baby was born. Things that may have prepared you better or at least made it abit easier especially the first 3/6/12 months.

Could be anything from obvious things that you thought weren't as important as they turned out to be or things that may have seemed stupid or trivial but actually turned out to be really good advice. 

Any tips or advice welcome regarding prams/sleeping/cots/food/clothes/bedrooms anything you can think of that made your life abit easier or more efficient when the baby came along.

Thanks for reading.

Savvy_Sue

You can never retire from parenting ...

Retireby40

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

Savvy_Sue

Whoa! I have three sons, all flown the nest and standing on their own two feet, TYVM, and very much making their own way in the world! 

But I am, and always will be, their mum, still amazed by them, and I hope I never lose that.

strawb_shortcake

When you are weaning, just because they like swede, and happy to keep eating you really need to stop or you'll be up all night with them. 

If hand expressing milk, it's always a good idea to keep the curtains shut, delivery drivers can be early. 

Babies really don't mind noise, you don't have to tiptoe when they are sleeping.

One that most people will know and I didn't, don't give a child milk when they've had an upset stomach, if they've just had Ribena and you are at Legoland you will feel really stupid as you look down at the mess your child has just made.

You will never stop worrying about them, they will always be your baby no matter how big and ugly they get.
Time really does fly, savour every moment and keep records of milestones.

Sleep when they sleep, try to be laid back and relaxed, the baby will pick up on your tension.
Babies really don't need much, unless you are paying nursery fees, a child doesn't really become expensive until they start school.

We always planned to have a parent at home and budgeted accordingly in advance. My full maternity pay was paid into a separate account, when we came to move house we had a nice nest egg to help with the costs and furnishings.

MalMonroe

Oh I knew absolutely nothing. My first (and only) baby was born when I was living in Australia, in the sticks, in the middle of summer with 38C temps and with no family around whatsoever. I had a lovely time in hospital - stayed a week! And when I was discharged my husband collected us, took us home and fortunately it was a bank holiday weekend so he could spend four days with us. Then he went back to work. No paternity leave in Oz then. Help!!

I hadn't a clue but you know what? I was on my own with a newborn and I magically (or you may call it instinctively) knew exactly what to do. I was absolutely exhausted and in bed by 7pm every night and my husband and I worked as a team. There was no health visitor or midwife. If I wanted to see a midwife I had to walk to the local church hall one Wednesday a month 'cos my husband needed the car for work and we couldn't afford two. We returned to the UK when our daughter was 7 months old and to our absolute amazement, she was still alive. I didn't have any maternity pay because I'd only worked for 10 months in Oz and when we came back to the UK we were entitled to child benefit but of course no maternity pay. 

You learn with your baby, I think. I'm glad that I didn't know anything, or that people hadn't tried to advise me in advance. I mean, had we been in the UK I'm sure lots of people would have but I loved being able to do things on my own and learn as I went along. Use your sense, use your initiative and try to keep calm, that's all I'd ever say. Everyone parents in different ways anyway and no matter how you plot and plan, you can't ensure that anything will work out that way. 

My daughter's 42 now and I still worry about her and will always be there for her when and if she needs me, although you do have to let your children fly, of course!

MalMonroe

annabanana82 said:

When you are weaning, just because they like swede, and happy to keep eating you really need to stop or you'll be up all night with them. 

If hand expressing milk, it's always a good idea to keep the curtains shut, delivery drivers can be early. 

Babies really don't mind noise, you don't have to tiptoe when they are sleeping.

One that most people will know and I didn't, don't give a child milk when they've had an upset stomach, if they've just had Ribena and you are at Legoland you will feel really stupid as you look down at the mess your child has just made.

You will never stop worrying about them, they will always be your baby no matter how big and ugly they get.
Time really does fly, savour every moment and keep records of milestones.

Sleep when they sleep, try to be laid back and relaxed, the baby will pick up on your tension.
Babies really don't need much, unless you are paying nursery fees, a child doesn't really become expensive until they start school.

We always planned to have a parent at home and budgeted accordingly in advance. My full maternity pay was paid into a separate account, when we came to move house we had a nice nest egg to help with the costs and furnishings.

Hi I just wanted to say that your first few sentences made me laugh out loud.  

The bit about swede - I'd never have thought to give my daughter that because I don't like swede. But maybe I should have tried her with it. (She won't eat it now and she's in her 40s. I still won't eat it either.) Not too much though, as it sounds as if you had bit of an experience with it. 

And the early delivery drivers . . . 

Also the one about milk and ribena in legoland - so funny. Not at the time, obviously. 

Sorry for laughing but thank you so much. 

mrsS_2

I am going to be honest here.  My kids are in their early twenties.  I have no idea what the rules and recommendations are now so if I say anything you think is wrong/outrageous i  apologise in advance.  It’s not advice just how things were for me.   I went back to work full time when first child was 8 weeks old and husband worked abroad a lot of the time so all the childcare/nightfeeds/nappies/anything else you can possibly think of was pretty much down to me so I was a bit of a wreck for the first year or so!   Anyway,Things I wish I had known:
1) other parents’ definition of sleeping through the night is not the same.    Some say 12 till 4.    Mine was 7 till 7.   I couldn’t understand why I had the only baby not sleeping properly at the nct class!   Don’t be fooled.  It’s not a competition anyway
2)try and live a normal life.  If you want to Hoover while they are asleep. Go for it.  They won’t wake up.   If you want to go out. Wake them up.  It won’t hurt them, despite what your mother in law says!
3)they survive if you don’t sterilise food bowls.  The dishwasher is fine.  They need to build up some natural immunity which they can’t do if things are “too clean”
4) I didn’t realise with the first child that babies don’t need feeding at night from about 6 months old.  I just kept feeding mine when she cried at night.  Possibly contributing to the being up 5 times every night for 2 years!   Read a Miriam Stoppard baby book before the second was born and realised my mistake.   Second slept through from 6 months no problem
5)grandparents have absolutely no idea what the current recommendations/rules are.  I am of the age where my parents were told to put a bit of gin in my bottle by the grandparents to help the baby sleep at night.   I think you could get the baby taken into care for that now!!!!     If you want them to feel involved and or help out be upfront and honest about how you want your child cared for.   Don’t assume they somehow are mind readers or learnt the rules by osmosis!!   Get them to read the books you are basing your own parenting on in advance so you are all in agreement.   
5) it’s more important to sit and cuddle your baby than it is to do the dusting!   That time is so precious.  It goes too fast.  You can never get that time back.   Housework can wait.  

good luck. I wish you all the best and hope it all goes well for you

74jax

Retireby40 said:

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

My daughter left for uni at 18 and never lived at home since. 
You never retire from being a parent.  In fact this is probably one of the most real life things someone can say. 

Grumpelstiltskin

Just think, humans have been bringing their babies up for millions of years, 99.9% of those years without all the ' Must Haves'
Don't be taken in by all the advertising.
Also don't be taken in by ' My baby was doing complicated maths problems at 10 months old'
All humans are different, you will know what is right for your baby.

Retireby40

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

My daughter left for uni at 18 and never lived at home since. 
You never retire from being a parent.  In fact this is probably one of the most real life things someone can say. 

The comment the poster made wasn't to give advice or help. It was a joke based on my username.

While you will always be a parent you won't always have parenting duties.