Things you wish you had known before baby was born.

VJsmum

That it can be really, really boring.  You love them, of course, but you don't get much conversation and it is soooooo boring.  Kathy Lette summed it up when she said that you can watch your plants photosynthesise. 

That you may not get that 'rush of love' everyone tells you about.  I did with the second but not with the first - her birth was traumatic and i was drugged to the eyeballs.  I was an interested observer at first, then a tigress (come near her and i'd have killed you) and only then the devoted mother.   Second one i was euphoric from the off (so much so that my mother was worried I'd come crashing down).  Regardless of how it started, i love them equally (they are in their twenties).  Fortunately a kind and straightforward friend had warned me not to expect the rush of love so i was not concerned when it didn't happen - and i was too traumatised.

Not too indulge in competitive parenting and not to compare yourself or them with others.  
Not to try to be perfect "good enough is good enough".

All that said, I adore them both, would do anything for them and wouldn't change it for the world.

Spendless

Well I don't know how I'd have taken it if someone had said to me 'your eldest will consider sleep optional. This will be at both ends of the day until he's almost 12 years old, then continue at night-time till he's old enough to leave for Uni, when it starts not becoming your concern'
Learn to eat one handed - I found that skill useful  and can be handy even later in life if you ever injure a hand/arm.
Do some research on childcare costs and any available financial help towards it  

olgadapolga

You'll drink a lot of cold tea/coffee.

You are allowed to tell overbearing relatives that they cannot visit every day. Unless they've come to do the housework...

Don't make plans. Ever. Children will foil them. Always.

Babies take up way more time than you think. 

Babies do not need a bath every day.

You'll tread on toys.

Always have Calpol in the house.

With regards to "stuff" the baby may need, I worked off the theory that the minimum babies needed was to be warm, fed and have somewhere to sleep. 

Don't buy loads of clothes in one size as they grow very quickly.

Children will make you cry at times. For the rest of your life.

yellowbear

Don't get caught up in 'competetive mum' wars; your baby is normal. All babies develop at their own pace. I have 4 children and they all potty trained at different ages. They all walked at different ages. Just because your SIL's baby walked at 9 months (allegedly) does NOT mean your child is 'slow'. (Speaking from experience here, can you tell?!)
It's normal for a baby to wake several times a night. 
You will not spoil your baby by responding to his/her cries. Your baby cannot manipulate you. (Thanks MIL!)
You are doing a fab job. Don't let anyone tell you different.

74jax

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

My daughter left for uni at 18 and never lived at home since. 
You never retire from being a parent.  In fact this is probably one of the most real life things someone can say. 

The comment the poster made wasn't to give advice or help. It was a joke based on my username.

While you will always be a parent you won't always have parenting duties.

I got the joke and the reference to your username, I was just saying I thought it was one of the most realistic things to be said about having children. 
I'd never heard or thought of it, but I love it, very real and true and something no one had said to me. 

swingaloo2

I asked my niece about this as mine are adults now so things have changed.
She has 4 girls aged between 9 onths and 11 years.
 She said No baby ever needed a £1200 pram. No baby ever cared if it was in 2nd hand clothes. Crawling babies come to no harm if they put something in thier mouth which has been on the floor.  Babies and toddlers are very happy with cheap presents at Christmas and birthdays. Babies are very demanding and can be slave drivers if you let them.

Drawingaline

All babies are different. I required far more 'stuff' with my very hard fourth baby than my other three. Therefore buy the minimum beforehand and see what you might actually need/use.

Second hand is absolutely fine for everything bar cot mattress and car seat. 

Cloth nappies are way easier than you think. 

Breastfeeding takes practice and isn't the most natural thing for everyone. And again all babies are different. Sailed through with my first three, baby four needed much more support and help.

There is no failure with birth and breastfeeding. 

It's ok to ask for help. 

mrschaucer

You will know when there is something seriously wrong with your baby - don't let anyone pooh-pooh that instinct.

Savvy_Sue

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

My daughter left for uni at 18 and never lived at home since. 
You never retire from being a parent.  In fact this is probably one of the most real life things someone can say. 

The comment the poster made wasn't to give advice or help. It was a joke based on my username.

While you will always be a parent you won't always have parenting duties.

So if you need the advice spelled out, and made very specific, your parenting duties may continue long after you expected them to finish, especially if you aren't one of the fortunate ones who has children able to stand on their own two feet. Your plans may not work out the way you anticipate: I'm guessing - and this is just a guess from your username - that you have a plan for your life, and I have no idea how old you are, but children do have a habit of disrupting those plans, and once they're here there is absolutely diddly squat you can do about it. 

I'm waiting for MIL to phone. She's not retired either ... 

Retireby40

Savvy_Sue said:

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Savvy_Sue said:

You can never retire from parenting ...

My father hasnt done anything remotely parenting since i was about 19. Thats 13 years  of a retired parent. I guess if you're lucky to have a child who can stand on their own 2 feet and make their own way in the world you can.

My daughter left for uni at 18 and never lived at home since. 
You never retire from being a parent.  In fact this is probably one of the most real life things someone can say. 

The comment the poster made wasn't to give advice or help. It was a joke based on my username.

While you will always be a parent you won't always have parenting duties.

So if you need the advice spelled out, and made very specific, your parenting duties may continue long after you expected them to finish, especially if you aren't one of the fortunate ones who has children able to stand on their own two feet. Your plans may not work out the way you anticipate: I'm guessing - and this is just a guess from your username - that you have a plan for your life, and I have no idea how old you are, but children do have a habit of disrupting those plans, and once they're here there is absolutely diddly squat you can do about it. 

I'm waiting for MIL to phone. She's not retired either ... 

Firstly whats with the rudeness? You made a smart comment based on my username. Something I threw together just to start the forum. So maybe instead of guessing and judging peoples lives or plans based on a username you could take the time to read and digest what they wrote and answer accordingly? 

Secondly I specifically asked about things that would be valuable to know during the first year of their lives. You know, as its completely new and its not exactly something you learn at school.

Everyone else seemed to have the right response to my post. Shame you seemed so adamant to focus on my username and not the actual question I asked.

Anyway.....any recommendations on prams? Ones that might last say 30 years incase my son in the future needs pushed home after a heavy session in the pub.