Is there anyone out there...?

MrDFby40

£300.00 Boys maintenance
£815.00	Rent
£106.00	Council tax
£41.00	Gas/Electric
£30.00	Water
£13.18	TV Licence
£27.24	Broadband
£3.86	Home contents insurance
£200.00	Groceries (£40 p/w)
£100.00	Emergency/presents/medical/holiday/household/clothes
£121.95	Vodafone
£100.00	Fuel
£150.00	Entertainment (£50x2 = boys, £25 x 2 = me)
£13.38	Lenses
	Gym
£345.00	Tesco
£185.00	Halifax
£450.00	Barclaycard
	Next (£25)
£33.00	Virgin
£32.46	Sofas
£30.00	DS1 Allowance
	DS1 lunches (£34 in there and lock down)
	DS2 swimming
£19.89	Match.com
£14.99	Spotify
-£400.00	Transfer from top up account
-£39.59	Swimming / Spotify
£2,757.36

MrDFby40

Vodafone is high, but that's DS1's phone and my watch on there as well.  I have called them and it's as low as it can be for everything I need.  Arguably I don't need my Apple watch but I have had it a year and there's nothing I can do about it now!
I joined match.com in November when I was feeling particularly lonely thinking I might want to meet a lovely new girl to spend some time with I actually don't feel like it now, but the subscription doesn't run out until May and I can't cancel it because it runs for 6 months minimum
The monthly top up is from my bonus.  I get paid a quarterly bonus and immediately transfer £800 into a holding account so I can top up my lower month's income.  If I don't do this I can't pay my bills so I am 100% strict with this all the time. I just don't touch it at all.
There are a couple of things in there that aren't costing me money right now so have left the description in but the value is blank.

Sarahwithlove

I found with my tesco credit card and virgin as well as I paid more off they kept sending me emails with 0% balance transfer offers all the time. Think it was about a 3% fee but it's probably alot better then what you are paying now and wouldn't require a new card so I would focus on tesco card and hopefully the same will happen for you. 

MrFrugalFever

Hi,

Again some good progress made.
When you start deep diving in to the pennies and laying it all out it's amazing how much of a difference it makes and you start to think....why didn't I do this sooner!!

One thing I like doing is 'rounding down to the pound'. You can do it as often or little as you like but I often do it at the end of each day if i have spent something or know a DD/SO has gone out. If my balance in my accounts has any pennies attached i.e. £110.67p I will transfer the 0.67p to my EF. I like working in whole numbers and it all adds up.

I have also gone down the route of paying for things in full and minimising DD/SO's wherever physically possible, i still have to put the odd £10/£20 aside each month but i am then not paying the uplift on the monthly payments, car insurance is an example.

Seen as you are already forced to pay for match.com perhaps it is still something you could make use of - you never know you might even find a 'sugarmummy'! haha, sorry couldn't resist. On a serious note, my appetite for a relationship has all but diminished for last few years due to feeling inadequately able to sustain it on a financial level (just my personal feelings), so i understand if you feel this may be holding you back!

MrDFby40

MrFrugalFever said:

Seen as you are already forced to pay for match.com perhaps it is still something you could make use of - you never know you might even find a 'sugarmummy'! haha, sorry couldn't resist. On a serious note, my appetite for a relationship has all but diminished for last few years due to feeling inadequately able to sustain it on a financial level (just my personal feelings), so i understand if you feel this may be holding you back!

You genuinely made me laugh out loud with this!  I like the idea of a "sugarmummy" but I'm pretty sure it would only be the opposite way around, and as we can all see I can't afford that!!!  I totally agree with the financial commitment of a relationship as well as the emotional.  Both are holding me back currently, but also I think dating during lockdown is an odd thing.  I met one girl for a takeaway coffee and a socially distanced walk but it's just so risky because they are all effectively strangers and who knows if they've been safe and observing the rules.  I come into contact with a few people for work and am very careful, therefore I can't risk adding any unknowns into the mix.  I also don't think we can really get a feel for someones personality at this time, no one is "normal" right now

alt80

Haha also laughing at the 'sugarmummy' thing. I'm married but find me one of those to pay off all my debts, buy me an AM and fund units hit me up 100% only want a fit one though, not lost all my pride lol. Seriously can be a massive drain financially and you have kids - would say give it a break for a bit mate. One of my staff is splitting from his Mrs they've got kids. He'll go for anything in a skirt the rougher the better on a night out - don't even ask ha but said to me he wants to have a few years out of the relationship game altogether, let the kids get used to him and Mrs no longer together etc. Idk seems fair to me.

Your budget looks low on food - is £40 realistic, do you ever have a drink? Also do you plan to take kids on hol? If so account for it mate. Will the presents etc budget cover kid's Christmas esp as you have 2 iirc? Do you really only put £100 petrol in your car a month?

Toni'sfriend

Sugarmummy made me laugh as well. I know what you mean though. I can’t see having a take away coffee and a walk in the freezing cold being the same as chatting to someone over a glass of wine but that might just be me. And you’re right. If you don’t really know someone can you really e sure that the’re sticking to the guidelines as carefully as they should be. This cannot last for ever, though, and the right person sometimes turns up in the most unlikely of places.

MrDFby40

alt80 said:

Haha also laughing at the 'sugarmummy' thing. I'm married but find me one of those to pay off all my debts, buy me an AM and fund units hit me up 100% only want a fit one though, not lost all my pride lol. Seriously can be a massive drain financially and you have kids - would say give it a break for a bit mate. One of my staff is splitting from his Mrs they've got kids. He'll go for anything in a skirt the rougher the better on a night out - don't even ask ha but said to me he wants to have a few years out of the relationship game altogether, let the kids get used to him and Mrs no longer together etc. Idk seems fair to me.

Your budget looks low on food - is £40 realistic, do you ever have a drink? Also do you plan to take kids on hol? If so account for it mate. Will the presents etc budget cover kid's Christmas esp as you have 2 iirc? Do you really only put £100 petrol in your car a month?

Haha your mate sounds like the younger me for sure Got the kids back here tonight, eldest one threw up in the car (into fore mentioned McDonalds bag...) and youngest just didn't want to come    eldest is now in bed and youngest flicking through youtube on the TV but seems happy enough now.  Definitely not ready to introduce someone else into this mental mix, no matter how much money she's got or how fit she is 

I barely spend £40 a week, sometimes it's £15, sometimes it's £40 but it's never £40 consistently.  I shop in Aldi and I only buy what I need.  I'll make some bolognese or curry and freeze it in portions.  I take my lunch to work regularly and it's a sandwich, fruit, yoghurt and a box of snacking veg stuff.  I'm quite anal about my food shopping, I write my list, price it up on the Aldi website and then challenge myself to get it cheaper in store.  That sounds really sad, but I'm serious about getting these debts down so I am going in hard!!  Although I'm not gonna lie, I actually like doing that bit, it satisfies the control freak in me!!! I do drink but not a lot and only generally on the weekend.  I drank a lot more when I was still with the wife, but doesn't seem worth it on my own!!  I've got a really sweet tooth and I eat crap all the time and I found I put on too much weight if I drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of crap, if I want any chance of meeting someone eventually I need to fight off this beer belly  I'm aware I'm sounding a bit depressed tonight, I'm ok, just a mix of the end of a crazy busy week and the kids being difficult. 

We've never spent massive amounts at Christmas, the older one got Airpods (went half with his mum) and other "bits" and the youngest got a paw patrol tower thing, (also went halves with his mum) and other "bits" too.  I think probably about £150 each?  They've got so much family they get utterly spoilt.  Especially by her mum.  Don't miss the mother in law that's for sure!!!!

And yes, it's diesel actually but £100 lasts me the month, I work from some some times and other than that I either work 2 miles away or 15 miles away so not too bad! £50 gets me about 500 miles.

findingthisdifficult

Hope you had a good weekend with your boys, also hope you had better weather than we had...it has been very wet and cold here.

MrDFby40

Evening all, thanks for checking in @findingthisdifficult.  Had a top weekend thanks, came in £12.59 under budget as well so shifted that into my EF.  A huge total of £20.69 in there now!  Also picked up my Virgin Money balance transfer card from the ex-wife's house too so can set up the app on my phone now and see exactly what the balance is with the fee included.  Will do that and update my signature appropriately.

Saw my bubble mate yesterday who is also separated, he's got a 2 year old girl so the kids all get on well.  Went to the park and they let off some steam, it was cold but dry.  Couple of beers last night but not too many.  Not got a lot left in my current account right now but I do run it on a £0 balance budget thing.  Can't remember what the technical term is but everything is accounted for into pots so only have the right amount in there at any one time.  

Have prepped my lunches and snacks for the week.  Not made my meal plan yet but have lots of stuff in and so should eat from "stores" all this week.  No money to be spent!!!  Back to work tomorrow, I'm knackered already and it's not even started yet! Haha

Hope everyone else has had a good one

(Still no sugarmummy in sight....)