Declutter Mind and Declutter home

balabooberlies

Great to have those kind of skills Barb.

Candy, are your symptoms just falling over ?  I ask because we have Ehlers Danlos/hypermobility in the family and just recently saw my brother fall like a ton of bricks for no rhyme or reason....except the Ehlers Danlos.  Connectivity tissue problems cause this.  It's very scary to see.  It comes under Rhuematology.

HBF/LL.  Sorry to hear you have been poorly.  I send you my love and a huge hug.  Thank you for concern.  Just have to plough through... .... love you.  X

bala

X

BarbCh

Thanks for compliment bala,  I've always had craft skills.... comes from watching BLUE PETER as a child Lol! But I've progressed from washing up bottles and papiere mache..... omg did I  make such a mess in those days LOL! 

It's due to my love of craft that I've collected so much stuff. If I  think there's an alternative use for something then I'll keep it..... but my craft (aka upcycle, make do and mend) stores are just too much....
I've been pondering on this forum and that Martin Lewis set it up to help people save money etc.... yet the threads diversify...... the thread category this is in is headed Old Style Money Saving...... and we diversify into clearing clutter etc
So it got me thinking about a few aspects of this, 
1. Although our focus is on decluttering.... I for one, am cluttered because I  have too much stuff that I think will save me money! 
and it has done that.... most recently, on my chair project.... saved on buying fabric, padding etc ...... saved on labour costs by doing it myself.... saved on buying new chairs! 
2. Old fashioned saving..... maybe it's an age thing and being brought up by parents who lived during the war years and they had to be frugal etc. 
My mum still reminisces about my grandmother dying flour sacks and making clothes for her out of it! She also repurposed curtains etc.
So I  grew up with this mindset and hate to discard of anything that will save me money in the future! 
So I've concluded that I  need to just get this stuff used up, and the reason I've procrastinated Is because of my mind set is because of my mind clutter! Hence why I  began this thread! 
And now as my mind is getting tidier...... so is my home! 

Frogletina

BarbCh said:

@Frogletina the fabric is over 30 years old and my mum had made curtains with it. When emptying mum's house I came across it it was wrapped well and as clean and new looking as the day it was bought......
So keeping things isn't  all that bad.... and it does bring back memories and has now been put to good use.
I love the curtains that you have.... it's fabulous fabric (would look good on my chairs LOL!)

My mother was the practical one and I'm sure she would have tackled my chairs by now. I have 4 that belonged to my Nana, and 4 that match my table.

I did not inherit my mother's practical skills, but I did inherit my father's writing skills. Well, you can't have it all ways!

It's colder here today and I'm up earlier than yesterday. I have to get up as soon as I wake up. 

Yesterday I worked on my probate folder for want of a better name. After dealing with my two recent bereavements I know what would make things easier for my heirs. So far  I've made a list of all my utility companies, a list of my bank and building societies, but I still need to note where to find the details of my accounts.

I've also put details of my income and expenditure over the last 6 years, since I started Ynab (a budgetting app). I don't think I'll be in inheritance tax territory (that might change given the current economy) but this will show any gifts out of income and a separate list of any capital gifts I've made. It should make things easier for my girls.

I've also written a letter of wishes regarding my possessions. My eldest has more memories of my mother, so I'd like her to deal with her paintings and othe art works, plus my son's writings. 

My youngest will get most of my jewellery, to keep or distribute as she likes. Plus she's into memories so I'd like her to have my photographs and details of our family tree as she's been researching too. She's had photos of her father's family colourised. Her boys look so like her dad when he was a young boy.

I've asked one granddaughter to have my writings and poetry, as a lot of my poetry was written when she and I were on holidays together. Hopefully I will have got some of these in a book form by then.

A framed print of painting of a girl will go to another granddaughter. I bought it from a second hand shop. It stopped me in my tracks because it looks so like her. People have commented on the likeness when they see it. The artist used the same model for various paintings and it's remarkable.

Other items I've noted for the younger family members.

I have stressed that these don't have to be kept but that if they don't want them, to distribute them in the family or they can sell or charity shop them. My family are very much into recycling, and redistributing things.

Sorry for such a long post. I feel it's been a good exercise to prepare for the future, and it has helped to declutter my mind. Once I've dealt with the future I can get back to living in the present. I'd like to be around for at least another 20 years. My eldest girl has for ages says that she can see us holidaying together as little old ladies, with people saying ' look at the two sisters, I wonder which is the oldest?' (there are only 17 years between us).

On the other hand, I never longer fear death. I can imagine my son saying ' I know I told you I was going to die first, but I didn't think you'd take this long!' 

helensbiggestfan

Great post BarbCh. 

I too am being careful how i declutter. Like you I enjoy upcycling, so I won't be disposing of things that I know I can use in my various projects.  Luckily I do have plenty of room so storage is not an issue - as long as I keep it neat and organised.  

Re mindsets....this has been one of the hardest for me. 

Having gone from a full household to being a widow whose children have now flown the nest I found the transition to "Singleton" and Empty nester very difficult.  I still had the mindset of being wife, mother, nurturer.  I only realised a couple of weeks ago that the reason for the all the extra stuff in my house was because I was still seeing myself as a wife/mother/provider.  This was most apparent in the amount of kitchen paraphernalia and the amount of food in the house.  It suddenly hit me that I was free of all that responsibility.  It was the day I finally said goodbye to the widow and embraced my new single status.  

I'm probably not explaining it very well and it probably sounds bonkers but it just felt that all of a sudden I was able to put the past in the past and put all the grief, sorrow and stress behind me. I was ready to start living again rather than just existing in the strange twilight world I had been living in.  Loosing a life partner is a bit like living in limbo.....you are neither one thing nor another, neither partner nor Singleton.  And I don't think you can make that mental leap until the time is right,  

Its only now that I have made that final mental leap that my mind is clear of all the jumble and clutter and I am ready to get rid of the physical clutter.  I like to use the expression "rightsize" rather than "downsize". True minimalism isn't for me, i find it too stark and a bit bleak.  I enjoy having art on the walls, a few prized ornaments, cushions, rugs, throws, flowers and plants so I won't be getting rid of everything.  And I certainly won't be having a capsule wardrobe😁.  I like clothes far too much.  But I am happy to start editing my possessions now.  I just feel the time is ripe. I will take my time, there's no rush. Like you I will use up rather than simply discard.  

I am actually very excited because I can see already see my life improving, already my house looks better, tidier, more organised and much easier to keep clean.  

candygirl

LL do you also still shop for a family too? I do, even though I'm now single, n an empty nester.I can't get used to shopping for one 🤔
BARB I think we should have a group hols to Goa .It would be hilarious 🤣

helensbiggestfan

Yes Candy, I am guilty as charged.  It is so hard to make that transition.  I'm getting there.  😉

candygirl

helensbiggestfan said:

Yes Candy, I am guilty as charged.  It is so hard to make that transition.  I'm getting there.  😉

I end up giving stuff to Madam Bon Bon instead .She had hm mac cheese n broccoli last night 🤣

BarbCh

Wow ladies, some fabulous posts today.... we're really getting into knowing ourselves and by posting about it.... helping others to identify their uniqueness, strengths and weaknesses.
@Frogletina love the way you are so organised with your probate folder..... I  am going to do one too! Great idea, especially in these uncertain times of covid 19
@helensbiggestfan it's very interesting that you identify the singleton/empty nest syndrome... it's a very valid point that I'm sure many of us don't  recognise and  think I'm going to consd how this affects me.... it never occurred to me before.
@candygirl.... Go Go Goa girl! 

p00

I am getting cluttered now through no fault of my own. Well I suppose its partly my fault because I should say no.
I seem to get my families charity shop stuff because the shop is only in the village. Of course its shut but the stuff really is too good to be going to landfill. Mostly started off in my shed but because a large item had to go in the other stuff ventured into my porch. 
I did a very time consuming auction on FB  which did sell a few things for my granddaughter but it took such a long time to put everything on, then sort it out at the end. Then you have to remove all the photos from the auction page when you've finished that day. How people do this all the time I do not know. Today Ive seen someone selling bits for 10p, WHY?
Fortunately the large item has been given away and I can venture into the shed again so everything is going there until the charity shops open and they can take stuff again.
Very stressful in many ways. 
p00 xx

BarbCh

@p00
Sorry to hear you are getting stressed at other people 'dumping' stuff with you! 
but it's time you said no....
Others are doing their declutter... and 'giving it to the charity shop' but in the process while they are feeling better.... you are NOT 
Stop doing it!
Tell them to keep it in their own porch, shed etc until the charity shop is open.
I know it's hard to say no.... and you are doing your best and using your integrity in trying to help others...  but you must come first.
Sending you positive vibes to overcome your frustration! 😇💚