Can I use pension to pay off debts?

Purplelady65

I understand why you don’t want to tell your husband if it means he would restrict your access to money and this would impact your ability to treat your children e.g. trips out,  visits to a cafe. You say he doesn’t like to spend money eating out or going out on day trips. What about week-ends away, holidays, theatre or cinema trips, children’s clubs and activities. Does he see those as a waste of money as well? He does sound quite controlling. How do you all spend your time together if he doesn’t want to spend any money. Do you do fun stuff at home? 

If you’re not going to tell your husband could you work out how much of his income he’s spending on the mortgage, food and bills and how much there is left for disposable income and then do the same for yourself? Then if it is disproportionate you could maybe ask your husband to pay for something else such as the car. 

I am not financially linked to him (I don't think) I am only named on the house deeds as Tenant in Common, I am not on the mortgage and we have no shared accounts.
You may want to look into this. Your name should be on the mortgage even if you don’t make any financial contribution to it. Does your husband see himself as the sole owner if it’s just him making the payments? He is making payments on an asset that will appreciate in value. You are making payments on no assets at all. I’m not an expert in mortgages and ownership and if you are married you would have certain claims anyway but you may want to look into if he wanted to sell the house for whatever reason and you didn’t whether because he is the only person named on the mortgage he could do this without your permission. 

Babybelles

Hi @desperateontheedge just checking in to see how you are getting on?
I hope you are still feeling a little lighter & have come up with some kind of plan.
You take care & have a nice weekend with your little ones.