Can I use pension to pay off debts?

desperateontheedge

Hello
I've just been approved to join the forum, this is my first post, please be gentle as I'm finding things pretty hard at the moment.
I have debts, quite a lot, I'm almost at the point where I am unable to cope. I lost my job a couple of years ago and managed to get another job part time but the pay isn't great, my entire monthly salary only covers the repayments on the debts. I have a small pension which would just cover the debts. Is there any way I can get access to my pension to use the money for this? I'm nowhere near retirement age (40s) yet. 
Has anyone done this before? How do I go about it? I understand there will be fees, what are they likely to be?
My pension pot is currently £34K and the debts total £31K (credit cards and loans). 
I only had access to this much credit because I had a reasonably well paid job before, I've stupidly been using it to top up my low salary, only small amounts here and there but it seems to have spiralled really suddenly and now the interest is so much I've completely lost control.
There is no way I will be able to get a similarly well paid job the way things are at the moment and childcare, plus I wasn't very good at it if I'm honest, which is how I ended up losing it.

p00hsticks

Sorry, no, you can't access your pension until you are at least 55 - if anyone else tells you different (and offers to arrange it for you) don't fall for it, it's a scam.

People on this board may have some more suggestions for ways to help - is there any reason why you don't want to go bankrupt or go through an IVA ?

desperateontheedge

Oh no, I was hoping there may be a way even if they charged a high fee.
I can't go bankrupt because it would risk my children's home and my car (ten years old, bought second hand but I need it).
I am actually married and it is hard for me to admit this but my husband doesn't know about my debts. I need to sort them out without him knowing, he would be extremely angry and I am too frightened of the consequences to tell him. He is very very careful with money (for example he won't eat out because he believes it's better value to eat at home). 
I am not financially linked to him (I don't think) I am only named on the house deeds as Tenant in Common, I am not on the mortgage and we have no shared accounts.
I know this is an extremely bad situation and I'm crying as I type this because I'm not sure how I've ended up in such big a mess. I've just used my credit cards for bits here and there, but too many times, the only big things have been car repairs and services or if I've been short at the end of the month to buy diesel or a Tesco shop. I think the mistake was getting a consolidation loan, but not closing the credit card account. I actually did this twice but there kept being reasons I needed to use the credit card again. Then the interest has just added so much on and I've only been paying the minimum. I'm such an idiot. I've thought it all through so many times over the past months and if I can't use my pension the only way out is if I'm not here. Presumably if I die, my pension will be my Estate and will be used to pay off the debts?

p00hsticks

desperateontheedge said:

 if I can't use my pension the only way out is if I'm not here. Presumably if I die, my pension will be my Estate and will be used to pay off the debts?

You worry about your children's home but think it'll be ok for them if their mother commits suicide ? If you do, you are not thinking straight.

If you are seriously suicidal please ring the Samaritans (116 123).

Take a deep breath, then come back to this board for some advice on how to tackle your debts. 

SuperFrank88

Sorry to hear you are so distressed but as previous comment, just stop and take a breath. This may seem like the end of the world but it really isn't. It is just money! It is just a number on a screen. £31K may seem huge but it really is not.  Nothing worth doing anything silly over. There are fantastic free debt charities like Step Change or Payplan to name two that will help you get back on the straight and narrow. It will not happen over night and will probably be a long road, but it is easily sorted with the right help and guidance. Please seek some professional help. 
Also if you feel like you are alone then come on here and have a chat. Majority of us are non judgemental and will support you. 
Goals for today.... give one of the debt charities a call. They are fantastic, honestly.

Naomim

Sorry I didn't want to read and run.  I agree the best place to start is with either Stepchange or PayPlan. They are free charities and offer advice.  You may be able to go on a Debt Management Plan (DMP).  

Can I ask, you say you are not financially tied to your partner. How are the bills split? Is it a fair share if you only work part time or is it 50/50?

As everyone else has said. Please take a deep breath. It's stressful when you are in debt and see the figures but there is always a way out of it. It may take some hard work and be a long road but you will get there.

Good luck

Naomim

desperateontheedge

Thank you for your replies. Would a management plan be something I could keep to myself without my husband finding out? I'm worried about the creditors not keeping to the arrangement (as I understand it, they don't have to agree to it but the debt charities will still send the reduced payment regardless), i have read in a couple of places where the creditor has then sold the debt on to a recovery company? I am worried about debt collectors turning up at the door if I go down that route.
My husband knows about one of my loans and one of my credit cards but thinks the amount outstanding is less than it is. He pays the mortgage and the household bills, I pay everything for the children, school dinners etc and the dog and the car and unforeseen essentials for the house like I got a freezer when the old one broke, plus things like the boiler service etc. He gets a big food shop a month and I pay for the weekly top ups.
It feels like a massive relief just to admit to it on here. What you wrote superfrank88 'This may seem like the end of the world but it really isn't. It is just money! It is just a number on a screen. £31K may seem huge but it really is not' even just seeing that written down feels like one of the weights being lifted off. Thank you. This horrible secret has been gnawing at me for so long now, I feel constantly on edge. I am going to call one of the charities this afternoon, which one is best to try first, how do I decide between them?

Babybelles

@desperateontheedge I’m so sorry to hear how low you sound. It’s easy for me to say but it is only money & certainly not worth you losing your life over.

I like you kept my debts secret from my DH until I racked up around £25K. I was having sleepless nights even though I was managing to pay all my debts I just knew the amount had become too large for me to conceal. 

I was very worried about telling my DH as he is such a great guy but I did do it & honestly felt like a weight had been lifted. He just sat down with me & we made a plan together. I did have trouble getting low interest rates so he cleared a lot of the debt for me. Your DH might not want to do, or be able the same for you but he might be able to find some 0% deals to get you back on track.

Please, please, please tell someone what is going on. If you can’t tell him then tell a family member or a good friend. I truly believe a problem shared is a problem halved. 

It’s been mentioned you contacting a debt charity & I absolutely think that is a good idea as they will help you sort out a plan to tackle this.

You take care & know your life is so, so much more important than money. Give those kids a hug & make a plan to tell your DH.
Good luck.

fatbelly

No-one is going to be coming to your door.

Both those organisations are good. Personally I've had better experience with Payplan but equally someone could post the opposite.

What I recommend for today is that you phone one of them

https://www.payplan.com/
https://www.stepchange.org/

and then report back to let us know what they say

I've posted both links as there are a lot of sharks who impersonate them.

Another good source of impartial free advice is

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/

and they don't have a product to sell

BlueJ94

Sorry you feel this way and I hope you get things sorted! I'm in 6K of debt myself, I just started a DMP plan, they're really lovely people and definitely do not judge you at all! All things are kept confidential. I would recommend them!  Good Luck!

fatbelly

Jadewest is with Payplan