Greying's Gaining Ground - with Gratitude & Grace

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening MFW'ers!

I've been around MSE for quite a few years now - both as a lurker on MFW, and a diary-keeper on DFW.  Some of you may 'know' me by my username (Waves).  I've had a hiatus from diary keeping for just over a year.  Life got in the way a little and then..... well, this year 'happened', didn't it?

So, why the switch from DFW to MFW?  Truth is, I was in the incredibly lucky position to not have actual debts when I was keeping a DFW diary.  The principle of the diary was always about simple living, living within our means and actually trying to avoid debt - whilst living the best life that we could.  So, has Greying got a mortgage?  Well, no.  I therefore hope that that doesn't immediately de-bar me from keeping a diary on here!  The reason why I want to re-start a diary is to chronicle the next stage of our lives - which ultimately will, I hope, involve some form of home-ownership, ideally with little or no mortgage.

On balance, 2020 has (thus far!) been 'OK' for the Greying's.  We've had set-backs, let downs, furlough periods, things have gone wrong, and I have to admit, that financially, we've been in quite the most precarious position this year - and we very nearly went under as we entered autumn, and had to cut every expenditure to the absolute bone.   But, we have managed (finally) to sell 'Greying Towers' this year.  People who 'know' me from DFW will know that the property had become a millstone, due to an anti-social neighbour, an inability to get relevant tradespeople to carry out renovations and the house and location no longer meeting our needs.  We ended up moving out of Greying Towers in 2019 in a vain attempt to make it easier to get renovations done.  This proved to be benefit and a burden, as it increased our living costs, didn't speed up the renovation process, opened us up to being messed around by a complacent Estate Agency company, and the long and short of it was that due to several abortive sales, and 'lockdown', the house was empty for over a year (not part of the plan!), and we could neither move forward, nor backwards, as we couldn't sell, and were locked into a tenancy agreement.........

Still, that is all now history, and we can finally look forward to a new year, and a new beginning for the Greying Clan.  The house we rent isn't perfect, but it has highlighted things that our new home 'should' (ideally) have.  The area is nicer - and we'd like to stay 'broadly' in these parts.  However, with property prices as they are, we can't really look at extending ourselves too much to take on a big mortgage, as there simply aren't the 'earning years' left for us to make mortgage payments ad infinitum.  We were blessed with a 'late in life' baby, so where we live will - for the next few years - be dictated by such prosaic matters as school catchment areas, and access to services.  

So, the initial purpose of this diary is actually to have a 'mortgage in reverse' - ie a 'savings plan'.  There really isn't alot of spare money at the moment, and we still have to meet our rental payments each month!  However, we need to try to add to our capital total, to try to either buy a property outright, or have the smallest mortgage possible (DH and I are reasonably risk-averse).  I was looking at properties in our 'target' budget zone today, and was somewhat depressed to see that what I regard as an incredible amount of money, is still regarded as 'first home buyer' territory 

I will have a nice 'clean sheet', budget-wise to start 2021 (fingers crossed), as the household DD's have been financed for this month (only) with refunds from insurances, council tax and energy over-payments associated with Greying Towers.  The only wiggle room I really have is with the food budget, and any savings that I can glean from CHB and tax credits.  I have always tried hard to save the CHB/tax credits for Little Greying (formerly known as Baby Greying - but hey.....growing, what can I say?), but have had to use any income this year, just to meet bills.  Little Greying (LG), has been incredibly fortunate with generous Christmas gifts this year from Family & Friends, and has toys that are 'what they wanted', and monetary gifts have (with the donors gracious permission), been either put into long-term savings, or used to purchase much needed 'practical' items, such as warm, winter clothing and waterproof footwear!  

So, I'm hopeful that I can keep an 'interesting' diary, although it will be somewhat 'unorthodox' - at least initially - until we really start to crystallise our purchase criteria, and until such time as these criteria meet up with an 'opportunity' that is actually for sale, and within our budget!  Our next home won't be our 'forever home'.  I've changed my mind significantly about property over the years, and i've become much more objective about what a house is for, and what we need from it.  Renovation projects, or even self-build are no longer on my radar.  Ease of maintenance and manageability are far more important to me (I detest dusting and housework!), so we will be looking for 'sufficient' for our needs (as a family of 3) now, and then, in the future, will look to change/downsize as LG makes their own way in the world.  

I'd be so pleased if you'd care to join us on our journey - to cheer us on, in our attempts to 'gain some ground' (ie buy a home).  I'm always aware that there are many blessings in life, and even when things aren't going to plan, there is usually something to be grateful for.  And i'm old enough now to at least realise (even if I don't always 'live' it  ) that there is no point in sweating the small stuff........... and it really is (mostly) all small stuff.......

I usually like to make a round-up of at least 3 things that I'm grateful for.  Today, I'm grateful for;

1)  LG's enduring fascination with snow
2)  knowing that the direct debits are met for this month
3) a store-cupboard, 'buddha bowl' tea 

Thanks for reading.  

Greying X

Honeysucklelou2

How lovely to “see” you again. I used to read your DFW diary and followed with interest as my youngest DC is a similar  age as LG. I always enjoy reading your 3 gratitude sentences and agree that there are blessings to see even when things aren’t going to plan.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning!

Honeysucklelou2 - thank you for your kind words and welcome     i too 'recognise' you from elsewhere on the forum 

So today's jobs will include 'taking down Christmas'.  We didn't go overboard with our decorations etc, but the tree will need to be deconstructed and packed away, safely, for next year.  We're incredibly lucky that LG remains enamoured with Christmas trees in general and our (little) tree in particular.  I think it such a small, yet delightful thing, and I hope it continues for many, many years - even perhaps a lifetime    

I need to bag up some copper coinage that seems to have accumulated.  It won't amount to more than a couple of pounds - but it could easily have been a couple of pounds that we needed to rely on the way things have been going    I shall plan to put it in LG's saving's account.

I try very hard to meal-plan.  I have to have a degree of flexibility built in though, as although I try very hard to 'cook from scratch', just like everyone else, I often run out of steam/time or find I've forgotten a key ingredient    I shall do the meal plan for January - I tend to use a system of seeing how many weeks there are in any month, and then picking (eg) 5 soups, 5 curries, 5 pasta-based dishes etc etc, and then formulate each week's menu plan from the master list if you see what I mean......  It usually affords sufficient flexibility, and also allows for making use of gluts, bargains or switches due to lack of ingredients.  I love cooking, but I am also very practical, and fish fingers, omlettes, baked beans and soup all feature in our meals.  We are predominantly a vegetarian household, but do eat a small amount of fish.  This started in pregnancy, and I've carried it on, mostly to try to encourage LG to eat a wider range of foods.  LG will eat fish fingers, but they are incredibly picky  and the range of foods that they will eat is not vast.........  

We have a small 'Emergency Fund' - which is in fact the remnants of the 'home improvements' fund from Greying Towers.  But I don't know - to the penny - what the actual balance is.  So I need to find that out.  There should be enough for most emergencies that I can think of, but I'm sure that moving forward, we could do with having saved more.  Although our rental deposit is 'secure' with a third-party, there may be need to have deposits or meet purchase costs (for a new home), before the deposit is back with us.  

All costs associated with sale of Greying Towers have been met - including the legal costs associated with the abortive sales..... 

I was able to buy a new freezer when we came to this rental house, and it is located in the kitchen diner.  The increased capacity, and the ease of access (in Greying Towers, our old freezer was located 3 rooms away from the kitchen, through a child-gate and down a flight of stairs......), has been a boon for money-saving.  We are able to buy a week's worth of bread and stash it in the freezer (DH has a packed lunch), which has curtailed 'just need a loaf/pint of milk' shops, that morph into £10 spent everytime!  I have also been able to return to some batch cooking, which helps with convenience and days when CBA kicks in........ However, I was less than enamoured with my H0t -whats-the-point? freezer when 10 months in, it went kaput     An engineer did come out (under the 1 year warranty), and basically said that the best option was to switch it off for 3 days if his 'fix' didn't work.......  i had tried to keep as much of the contents (it was full when it went pop!) as I could, but did waste some food     i then wasted more, when it became apparent that his 'fix' didn't work, and the freezer had to be shut off for 3 days........I shall not be buying H0t-whats-the-point? products in the future!

We haven't celebrated NY for many years now, so no celebrations have been curtailed this year.  We have a curry (Rick Stein's cashew nut curry is an annual 'treat'), and I'm hopeful that the gruner veltliner from aldee will prove a good match.  The jeopardy of 'will it, won't it' is about as exciting as today gets!     Today should - otherwise - be a NSD.

Right, planning and plotting to get on with.  

Thanks for reading.

Greying X

Busy_Mee

Oh Greying. That has actually made my day seeing you here. I was only thinking about you and wondering if all was well. And actually wondering if your absence meant you had baking another surprise Greying baby   You do have form 

Glad to here you are back with us and looking forward to your posts xx

Greying_Pilgrim

Ha Ha Ha!  Thank you Busy_Mee - you have given me my laugh-out-loud moment of the day    LG often talks about, 'when I have a baby sister or brother, mummy.........' But unfortunately, we have to be pragmatic about such things, and our family is complete at 3........    As yet, LG is too young to understand what an absolute miracle and blessing their entry into our lives was, and indeed still is  As you all realise, not every day is a breeze with little people in the mix, but I remain grateful for being a mother every.single.day......

Right, i've got shifting-a-tail-feather and made a little progress.  The coinage has been bagged up, and with some coins that predate 'lockdown I', I've managed to collect £8 (more than I thought), to be deposited in LG's account.  It isn't a dent on any 'pocket money' (actually 'saved' for them on a weekly basis), that has gone by the wayside in 2020, but better than nowt.  There is also coinage remaining, so that has been bagged, so that we can (hopefully) add to them and bank them in the future.

I have checked what the Emergency Fund stands at, and it is £2150     Again, I'm glad we've got it, but in reality, that is less than 2 months (absolute must meet) living expenses - now that we have a rent commitment     However, in 'theory', if the S really HTF, we could 'raid' the car/motoring fund to pay the rent for a couple of months.  We would have to walk/cycle everywhere, and then we'd be stuck....... So, my first task is to at least get the EF to £2500.  It doesn't sound alot - but I haven't got a huge number of avenues to 'gather' this additional £350 from.......     i'm giving myself 4 months......

LG is busy playing imaginative games with a cardboard box........ life remains good 

Greying X

shangaijimmy

Fantastic to have such an enthusiastic new dairy for the start of a New Year. Love the gratitude statements too!

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning!

Oh shangaijimmy that is such a kind comment - thank you so much    I admire the choices that you and your family have made to reach mortgage neutrality 😁  We are currently mortgage free - but also 'house free' too    But still, there is the opportunity to work towards re-entering the property market without breaking the bank, or mortgaging ourselves into a financial black hole.  

Well, Happy New Year to all MSE'rs.  Let's hope we can all navigate 2021 safely, and make it a good year.

i've been giving some consideration to 'goals' and 'aims' for this coming year.  I've not got down to the fine 'nitty-gritty', but I know that for me, thinking about, focussing on or (ideally) writing down aims or 'steps toward' or 'things to do' helps enormously in actually achieving the eventual goal - even if it works out not exactly as I'd initially envisaged, or takes a bit longer.  I came across 3 sentences that I had written down (in exasperation, it must be said!), sometime in September.  Looking back now, one of the things has been achieved (Greying Towers sold), and the other 2 are progressing in precisely the way we need them too.  So for me, call it visualisation, meditation, focus, prayer, goal-setting - whatever - writing it down and focus/thought works.  So I need to get my ideas/thoughts down on paper and then organise them a bit.  One advantage of having been around for a while is also that I am (finally) somewhat more accepting if things don't work out as planned, as invariably there is a reason why, and sometimes things work out differently - but better than I had ever envisaged, so..........

One 'criteria' that I am certain of is that our next house will only actually be 'required' (I mean in terms of location/size) for approximately the next 10 or 12 years.  After that time, LG will be at a different point in their life, and DH and I will need to be looking for 'ease' of access/maintenance etc etc.  Climbing up a ladder to fix the guttering on a 3-storey townhouse is pretty much out of the frame now - so in 10 years time.......😂

Our NYE was somewhat muted - the curry and wine were OK.  The wine wasn't as fruity as I thought it would be with the curry (was OK to drink on it's own though).  But we didn't party on into the night, and I was in bed by 9pm.  But got woken by fireworks  So didn't actually get to sleep until 2am.  Never mind, such is life.

Must get out and get a breath of fresh air today.  The past few weeks have been blighted by confinement - either by the weather or (non-cvid) illness.  Tea will be a veggie version of 'Hoppin John' - here's hoping our 'hill o' beans' brings us health, wealth and prosperity for 2021 

I have at least achieved one of my 2021 goals already this morning - to read much more to LG.  They absolutely love books, and will take as many as they can in one story session, but I've noticed that i've started saying, 'not at the moment' too much, plus 'educational' books and homework has made a pleasure a bit more of a chore.  So, recognising how wonderful reading is, and how simple LG's request actually is, I am determined to get back to leisure/pleasure reading.  I'm 2 books up already...... 

Thanks for reading 

Greying X

twinklie

@Greying_Pilgrim that's so true. I'm guilty of saying 'not right now' or 'in a bit' too much. I need to learn to stop and listen to them a little more. Ironically I do think I'm better at doing that in term time. I also need to start reading to them both a little more. I find between work, their homework (they are 5 and 8 - I don't even believe in homework) I just find beyond their school books a bit of a challenge. 

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening!

twinklie - you are so right.  Finding the time in between 'everything else' is so difficult.  But I'm looking on it as it's important and worth it - so worthy of a resolution/challenge 😁  And... [smug smilie] I'm up to 3 books now.... and DH has done at least the same, if not more, today, so *win* 🤣

Well, the 'walk' didn't happen as such, well, not in a 'up hill, down dale, thru beck, family-stylee' anyway.  We had an earlier lunch, but by the time we'd done, the rain set in 🙄  So DH - ever practical - set about mending something, under LG's careful and considered supervision....... 🤣 And I started a bit of knitting, utilising yarn from my stash 😁  And then half way thru the arvo, I decided that i needed to just move and get a breath of fresh air/change of scene, so I went for a solo power-walk, which was sort of 'round-the-block +'.  I guess it was about 1.5 miles and it certainly recharged my batteries anyway 😁

The tea is made and is just cooling slightly on the stove.  We've opened a bottle of 'gifted' wine..... mmmm, 'ok' as long as you have it with food..........But 'free' I guess, so.......  I have put some lentils into the 'Hoppin John', in the hope that they will (in their representation of money) bring us added fortune this year 😁  And no, we didn't buy a lottery ticket for tonight - but DH did 'win' on the lottery on Christmas Eve.  His £3 stake yielded £5, so £2 profit 😁  Although I can't remember the last time we had a winning ticket, so I don't think we're 'up' in the gambling stakes........

Today I am grateful for these 3 things;

1)  Quality time spent with DH & LG - priceless
2)  Fresh air and exercise - cleared the cobwebs 
3)  A really tasty tea, that is utilising reasonably priced ingredients and (frozen) leftovers 😁

Thanks for reading.

Greying X

greenbee

So lovely to see you here again! I'm sorry you've had a difficult year - hopefully this year will see you settled in your own place that gives you what you need. It's good that being somewhere else has given you time to think about what you really need from a house vs. wants.

I've got a lot of childrens' books that my lot have outgrown if you're interested. I'd be delighted if they found a new home, so PM me if you'd like them and I'll get them packed up

peb

Another one delighted to see you, I have missed your posts and when experimenting with vegetarian cooking was thinking of you, your Buddha bowls and BG.  Sorry you've had a hard year and hope that you find somewhere suitable for the Greyling clan to live.