The Best Is Yet To Come

slm6002

Thank you everyone.  I woke up to a message from mum saying how mortified she was she hadn't realised it was the 16th yesterday and thought it was today.  Said I should have said something.  I didn't keep quiet to make her feel bad, but also didn't think I should have to mention it either.  Anyway its over now.
When I woke up I tried to book the sun holiday, but no luck as there are no holidays left in the summer holidays.  I will have to look at something else to do instead.  I didn't want to book a 3 day holiday one over a weekend as generally you cant get in until 3 on the first day and then need to leave by 10ish on the 3rd day - not much point for 1 full day.  I will now start looking at other options.  Maybe I can break drive up to my sister who lives on the beach.  She will have moved house by then so it would be nice to visit.  Or maybe a few nights in a travelodge of some kind.  My friend also uses youth hostels quite a bit so may look into those

tryingtodobetter

We usually do the Sun 3 day break, we arrive on the Friday and leave on the Monday so we have 2 full days. We always have a swim on the day we arrive and leave to make the most of it. You can use all the facilities on your check out day, it is just your accommodation you need to vacate by 10am. Hope that helps 

slm6002

OK I was due inheritance but due to benefits I cant have it.  Instead it was decided I could be loaned the money to pay off mortgage (which the benefit people said was ok to do) from a family member.  The only problem is that I will be tied to him rather than the mortgage company until he dies (possibly at least 30 years from now - at which point the inheritance will pay off the loan).  It will be a large loan but with token payments as the lump sum will be due in 40+ years time.  As you all know I really need/want to move both for the size of the family as well as the my mental state/happiness.  Is it better to get a new mortgage on the completion of the consent order when husband hands over the house, or take this loan.  Will I then be stuck in this house because the new mortgage people wont lend to someone already with high debt?   I really thought I had this sorted in my head but after speaking to the family member I am back to being confused.

Kitten868

I thought you didn't have a choice but to apply for a new mortgage on current house now to get him off and then pay it off until the whole order has gone through? I'm confused now too!! X

slm6002

My family member was going to pay the mortgage company direct rather than me needing a new mortgage for what would hopefully be only a small amount of time before I can sell up and find a new house and at that time needing a new mortgage.  This would allow XH to come off the house and hand it over to me.  The current mortgage people don't care if its paid off or a new mortgage is gained to pay them off, I just cant stay with them.

Kitten868

Ask your lawyer maybe. The only complication is your ex having a claim to any of it so check with the lawyer. I would get him off the house you're in as it would be quicker. But I'm guessing xxxx

slm6002

As the judge will have signed the consent order before this happens and it would be handed over at the same time as the house is signed over there shouldn't be any reason XH could have half of it.  I have just emailed the mortgage advisor to see if she has any ideas and can answer my questions

Kitten868

Good idea xxx

slm6002

Good afternoon to you all.  The past few days have been up and down and I feel really tired.  Early to bed tonight I think.  The reality of coming to the decision that I wont get another mortgage, or at least extremely unlikely, and therefore the need to stay here is hard to get my head round, but there are so many people worse off than me, so I need to remember how lucky I am.  Next I need to get a proper plan and work out what I can do to make this house into our new home with the extra bits we need.  Extra bedroom - can either split my big room into 2 extra box rooms, so all kids have the same ish sized rooms, or go into the loft, but its more expensive and 2 children would probably still have box rooms.  All box rooms will still fit a bed desk and wardrobe, and a small amount of floorspace, which are the main things in my mind.  DD1 did ask if I though she could fit a double bed in - er no!  Smart storage will definitely be the way to go so that they don't look crowded / overfilled. The next thing is to add a down stairs toilet - builders have previously said that this is ok.  The third thing is to enclose garden and block entrances so that neighbours and XH's family don't just let themselves in the back door.  A tall secure fence and 2 tall gates that lock should do the trick.  After these 3 main bits have been done I can work on the bathroom, kitchen, carpets and general decoration of the house.  I obviously wont be doing any of this until the house is signed over, but can start the planning for it.
Another thing on my mind was the planning application for houses out of the back of my house.  Last night it was refused by the council.  I know its not the end of the builders journey as he has recently purchased the end of the neighbours garden to make the plot big enough, so will wait for an adjusted set of plans to be put forwards.  As the main points that it was refused on are not changeable hopefully all future applications will end the same way.  If that is the case I can see him being awkward as we park on his land, even though when he build my house it was part of the conditions for it being accepted.
I stayed up late last night to get my paid work done in peace and quiet, and dropped it off at work earlier.  Really could have done without the late night and could use a snooze now, but at least I will be paid for a few hours this month.  Been doing things today that I have been putting off like ringing the tax office to ask a question - turns out I no longer need to fill in a tax return - yay - was worth the very long time on hold.  I also found a receipt to send back DD1's bra that didn't fit and was ordered before Christmas - hopefully we should still get a refund.  The parcel is all packed up waiting by the door to be collected at some point tomorrow.
I cant believe its Thursday already - seems like Tuesday at the most.

FtbDreaming

Aww sorry to hear you’ve had a setback. Hopefully something will come up to enable you to move on from ExH. If you choose to go down the loft route we can share the journey together lol! I’ve got 3 kids and need them in separate rooms by new year as that’s when Dd2 turns 10 and cant share with DS. 

I feel for you with the benefit trap. I’m stuck too as my DP doesn’t work and isn’t entitled to anything as he can love off me apparently. I could work 5 days and earn £700-£1000 a week but I’d lose tax credits and pay half in tax, ni and student loan so be worse off than I am working 12 hours a week. It’s a joke. Something needs to change that enables people to progress without ultimately losing out.

hope you get your work done easily and an early night xx