The Best Is Yet To Come

slm6002

Thanks FtbDreaming.  The house will be mine come end of March / April time once the consent order is processed so XH will be gone. It is all agreed and signed, but just in case, I wont do anything until actually agreed by the judge and XH signed it over at the solicitors,  I just then need to get his DIY skills (or lack of skills / disasters) out of my house! My mum says no to splitting the room, but feel it may be my only option money wise.  Yes the rooms will be small, but not smaller than the 4th bedrooms that we've looked at online in lots of the new build houses.  Plus the wall will only be an internal wall so probably able to take it down if we ever sell and need it to be the main room again.
It really is annoying that even though you could work extra,  you will be worse off.  I find its all the extras that we get with the benefits such as school meals, school equipment/books and uniforms.  When working things out i need to take these things into consideration as well.

FtbDreaming

I considered splitting my bedroom into 2 as it has 2 windows so is easily doable but DP says it’s a no go. He’s attached to our bedroom as he spends 80% of his time in there and doesn’t wanna sacrifice it for a smaller room (selfish git I know 🙄) 

well at least when the house is all yours him and his friends and family can’t just walk in. Maybe in time your situation will allow for you to sell and move elsewhere or if not you’ll get all your jobs done and be content there anyway x

slm6002

Yes that big fence might need to be the first job lol.  XH was the same with the big bedroom.  Although he was against moving he wouldn't consider changing this house - obviously because he didn't plan on being here much longer.  He always said they don't need their own rooms, I had to share a bed with 3 others.  Anyway they do need their own spaces and now I can do what I like.

slm6002

Well XH has been in touch today asking when he will be taken off the mortgage.  I replied once the judge has signed the paperwork we can go to solicitors and get it done.  He then suggested we could do it now so i could start paying mortgage off -  well i am paying mortgage currently so not sure what he was getting at there, other than him trying to make it look like he was doing me a favour.  Turns out he is looking at buying a piece of land and obviously wants it now. I expect he has grand plans to build his own house - will never happen I'm sure as all of his big plans never happened.  I did tell him that although he wants it now, he will have to wait until late march / April for it to be ready.  I also informed him that the DMP will still be on his credit report for another 5 years or so, so getting his mortgage may not be as easy as he thinks.  His response was....well i had no problem getting the car loan... felt like saying that was because you said you were still living here, it was only 6.5k and you were on the electoral role (I've since removed him!).  He has no clue and has never applied for a mortgage.  He has 2 loans, no address and poor credit history, plus has to pay me a decent chunk of money for the children each month.  He couldn't even afford to live in a caravan so surely no chance of getting the mortgage he needs.  I know he is not on benefits and would have the income from his mistresses self employed job (only just set up since December), but surely still not a great person to lend to?
I really hope he cant get one.  I have no kindness for this man anymore

Honeysucklelou2

Just catching up on your diary...happy belated birthday!

Re names, I took back my maiden name but put it together with my married name. I’d prefer to just have my maiden name but didn’t want any difficulties with either the older children or if we went on holiday. It was easy to do by deed poll and I informed the council so the council tax bill was changed and the electoral roll. It hasn’t had a negative effect on my credit rating.

slm6002

Hi everyone.  Not much different here - still working on a very part time basis from home, still home schooling, still doing housework and budgets.  We did have the builder come round yesterday to look at what is possible.  Yes to downstairs toilet, yes to fences and gates to stop people entering.  Looked in the loft but would have to do quite a lot of work to only really get a /single room up there with limited head space.  Splitting the large room into 2 bedrooms was also looked at but the reality is the rooms would not be great and very limited floor space after squeezing in a bed and wardrobe.  Guess this house isn't meant to be a 4 bed house.  We did move rooms though so the girls are now in the larger room.  This means both girls can now actually sit up in bed properly and have room.  My bed is in their old room and squeezed in.  I have to side step to get past the end of the bed.  Not ideal but it means they have space.  I will just have to roll over the bed.  We have decluttered a lot but think a skip may be in order.  We just have so much stuff and we don't need it all

twinklie

slm6002 said:

  I will just have to roll over the bed.  We have decluttered a lot but think a skip may be in order.  We just have so much stuff and we don't need it all

Consider it part of your morning workout! 
We are also "blessed" with stuff! Most of it's DH's, he's awful at getting rid of stuff. Obviously my kids are still quite young too so they have lots of toys and things, but they do play with 99% of it all though so I can't complain about their stuff (much). 

slm6002

Twinklie thank you for that, adding it to my morning workout made me giggle.  My problem is that all / some of the 'stuff' we have in the house is useful as it has proven over lockdown.  Yes i may have a whole drawer of greetings cards, but over lockdown we haven't needed to go anywhere to get one, likewise with school equipment, art supplies, cleaning products and bathroom bits.  I am dubious to slim things down just in case we need them and are stuck here for longer than they plan.  I am also aware we do have quite a bit that can go however - clothes being a big culprit here.  We get a lot of hand me downs which we are grateful of, but there are only so many that will fit in the loft / wardrobes and drawers.  Also DS has grown and grown, yet his drawers are filled with things too small for him.  I do however think if we clear these drawers out he may be left with very little, but at least we can see then.
 Managed a little more work today so thats a few more pennies to add to the pot.  Off to make the pizza dough - might be a late dinner tonight

slm6002

Well today marks a year since XH left his home and his family. I have survived, I have repaired the house on my own, I have kept me and the kids happy and healthy and kept the car running.  I have cleaned up my credit score and am not in debt.  Think me and the kids have done really well and we really don't need him.  I have a bunch of friends in real life and on here who are there for me.  Even in these strange times I feel we have done really well.  I am still very angry and bitter at him and if I never saw or heard of him again it would be too soon, but unfortunately that is unlikely.
Today I have been cleaning up my bank account.  All those extra little payments that really don't need to be there.  I had an old electric account that had £25.73 left to pay.  I was paying it off at £4 a month.  Paid it off today and cancelled the standing order.  I also cancelled my lottery DD.  I know someone has to win, but its unlikely.  I would rather save the money so that is cancelled.  It means that the only DD's are actual utilities and mortgage plus the tv subscriptions.  Nothing else.  Once lockdown is well and truly over I will probably reduce the tv as well.  I am also repaying the tax credits back from years ago when they overpaid us, at £25 a month.  I need to ring and ask how many more months are left.  These deductions were stopped in the last lockdown so not sure where we are with them.  If it's not too many I will pay this off as well so I can see the true figures I am getting from universal credits.  

Kitten868

Well done you! You must feel very proud of all you've achieved in the last year. Also great news on the money declutter! Xxx