Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

Thanks all - yes, it's not the cost as I'd happily pay it to get it over the line - it's the fact you apparently cannot insure a property that isn't owned by you....It is the freeholder's responsibility and then she's meant to split the cost between the 2 flats but she's just never got involved.  I understand the buyer has got hold of the owner of downstairs and is speaking to them.  Might be that the buyer pays for the policy for both flats and then once downstairs' insurance comes up for renewal, they don't renew, go off the joint policy and then just go off the joint policy going forwards.  I just hope that she downstairs agrees (she can be a bit difficult) as if not, I don't know (other than seeing if freeholder will do it) where we go from here.

Am just so sick of it all.  DH and I have ha 2 arguments today already - 1 this morning and 1 at lunch when he popped home.  This morning I put all of last night's dishes in the dishwasher and generally tidied kitchen, got DC1 bag ready to go to MIL, fed DC2 and put dry laundry away and a set of laundry on.  Also got DC1's clothes out for today and washed all of DC2's bottles to sterilise.  DH gave DC1 his breakfast, changed his nappy and got him dressed but after DC1 and DH had finished their breakfast, DH just took the dirty dishes and put them on the worktop above the dishwasher (in the way of the bottle machine).  I made a comment about could he not have put them in the dishwasher and he just went off on one at me about how he was getting DC1 ready.  I don't think he gets how frustrating it is when you've literally just tidied something up and he leaves them ABOVE the dishwasher - like they have legs?!!!!!

Then at lunch, MIL had brought DC1 back so I made her and me a coffee.  I had just sat down to drink it after yet another morning of chores and dealing with DC2 being demanding (hung the new clean laundry out, swept bathroom and hall, tidied up lounge and refreshed the nappy station), put the now clean dishes away etc, and it was on a tray next to me.  DH comes in and throws himself down on the other end of the sofa like a bleeding sack of potatoes and the coffee spills out of the cup into the tray and he just sits there!!!!  And I'm like "can you do something" as I'm holding a dripping cup trying not to spill it on the cream carpets (why do people put cream carpets in rental properties?!) and hoping that it doesn't spill out of the tray onto the sofa (thankfully not cream).  Then he gets in a massive huff and goes off outside doing god knows what because I've apparently overreacted.

I'm actually dreading him coming home as we just snap at each other over who does more.  Yes, I get he is working all day but it is MUCH easier being at work than it is being at home with the DC.  AND I have a cold!  

No houses coming on and it is bleak.  Still no deposit repayment from "friend".  Will chase tomorrow.  Her boyfriend basically sent us a message saying that they had no money because he had taken a huge salary reduction in changing jobs recently and she was starting her own business but they are flashing the cash on FB with fancy this and that so I just do not buy that one at all.  But in any event, the tenancy ended last friday, so she needs to repay us the deposit.

Blackcats

That's naughty of your "friend".  I'm sure they will pay the deposit back soon but it's almost like she likes thinking she has some sort of power over you.  

I think you and OH are probably tired from the house move and stressy which means you are both tetchy.  I'm sure it's no consolation but my kids were terrible at loading or unloading the dishwasher as teenagers.  They would eventually bring the dirty crockery down from their bedrooms and leave it in the general vicinity of the dishwasher but never actually in it.  If I asked them to unload it, they would sometimes do half of it or their classic line was they didn't know if the contents were clean or dirty 🤷‍♀️

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.  

HampshireH

I don't know where you reside to use ££ but not be in UK but is there a tenancy deposit scheme where you are?

Alternatively the boyfriends argument doesn't wash as they would have just taken a deposit from the new tenants so could pass that on to you.

Irrelevant really as they instigated the move so they should have been prepared to return what is rightly yours

They can't be using other people's money to pay his bills.

Buffythedebtslayer

Your friend is an UTTER !!!!!!. 
She needs to pay that deposit now. She is being really dishonest. !!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!. 
And I know a lot of this will be exclamation marks when you read it but hopefully you get the idea. 
And the buyers for your flat can do one as well. 
Really sending lots of hugs. XXXXX  

[Deleted User]

@Blackcats - I guess I have all that to come with my DC!  Which is why I want to get DH trained up now - ha ha!

@HampshireH - no protection scheme here sadly.  @Buffythedebtslayer - thank you - there have been lots of expletives in this house (and the last) in the last couple of months!!

So, she repaid the deposit last night (it was £1700 so not insignificant) and now have that back in my bank account and DH has the other half in his.  He paid the deposit here (2k) so he will get that back when we leave.  So all good on that front.  I think our friendship is probably over however.  Which is sad and I'm worried about how it will affect our friendship with the wider group but there has literally been NO acknowledgment of how awful this has been for us - no "sorry" - just the letter of the law.  And that is unforgivable.  I knew there was a reason she had bought us really lovely baby gifts for DC2 (when normally she is tight as a knats chuff).

Flat news: buyer has apparently spoken to owner of downstairs and they are going to insure jointly.  So that will apparently be done this morning and hoping we can exchange today with completion next week.  Would be great if we could exchange before the BH weekend as will be something to celebrate!

Had 10 hours sleep last night as DH let me off at 8pm and let me sleep through.  DC1 woke screaming at 130 but DH sorted him as he just wanted water then went back down.  DC2 woke moaning at 620 so I got up with him so DH could carry on sleeping until 7.  And he's put his stuff in this dishwasher this morning!  In fact, he saw me doing it and told me to go sit down.  So that is better.

We are going to view a house today.  It's been on a while and is a crazy price and we don't think it is for us, but we are going to have a look anyway.  If only to build rapport with another agent.

Am to my friend's house tonight for takeaway.  He is ordering chinese and I am getting the wine.  So going to walk DC2 in the pram down to the wine shop in a bit and get a couple of nice bottles (as it's quite a pricey takeaway and he is a bit of a wine snob) and going to come back via WR to get DC1 some eggs for an easter egg hunt which we will do for him sunday.  We did one last year (in our fabulous garden - groan) but he didn't quite "get it", but now he really will.  Will be glad to see my friend - he's in that friendship group but doesn't really like "heartless girl" (my new name for her) or lurch but will never say anything on whats app but I think he is likely to when I see him in person.  So will be interesting.

[Deleted User]

No longer going to friend's tonight as cold has hit me so hard I can't face even walking to the shops so just called him and cancelled.  He was fine about it as he doesn't want to get a cold.  So tonight might be a rather boring salmon and rice from stores!

[Deleted User]

Went to view the house - not for us - lovely private garden and elements of the house were nice but it was very top end of our budget and even the agent was talking about how we'd want to extend and it also needed other work.  If we went top end budget it really needs to be "done" (apart from perhaps re-decorating - like painting and stuff we can do ourselves - DH is handy at tiling etc) and not need extending.  So the search continues!

Apparently insurance now in place and buyer has instructed my sols to exchange contracts but my sols have emailed theres and nothing.  So god only knows when it is going to happen!  In some ways maybe good it doesn't as I said to DH we need to crack a bottle of champers but both of us are feeling rubbish so don't fancy drinking!

Got to go get DC1 from nursery shortly then thinking of doing a drive by on a house which is coming up for auction if not sold before which we are hoping to view Tuesday.  Again, not sure it is right for us, but we shall see.

Sarahwithlove

Fingers crossed the sale doesn't take too much longer now. Hope you also manage to find something soon. We're starting to come into nicer weather so more people will start considering selling and you're in a great position in terms of chains etc. 

[Deleted User]

Thanks @Sarahwithlove

So, we are now apparently exchanging on Tuesday and completing on 14th.  I will believe it only when it happens but am going to book us into a (child friendly!) Italian place in walking distance for an early celebratory tea on completion day - I will pay!  In some ways it's not so bad, as means a few extra days rent and less on the early repayment fee as that is calculated daily but means the electric safety check needs to go ahead next week which is £180 (but tax deductible as an expense).  At least we now actually have confirmed dates which is better than where we were before.  And I've seen an email from buyer's solicitors saying he's seen the insurance document.  So it looks like it will finally happen.  But notwithstanding the slight overall (not calculated it but think it's the case) financial benefit, I would much rather we had completed already as it's just another thing in the stress box!

Drove past the house we are viewing Tuesday last night and looked at some ariel shots last night - not convinced it's for us but we are going to park up and do a walk past today.  It's a longer commute and a bit of a dog leg to the primary school it's in the catchment for.

Still feeling rubbish and another early night for me (830).  DC1 woke us at 530 crying but went back to sleep.  DC2 woke me at 630 (DH was already up).

So, today is: get ready and walk past house, park with the DC's, lunch in the cafe at the park (or at home).  Then not sure this arvo - might go for a wander round town with DH and the DC's to see what is open.  Tonight is take away pizza.  We are still under half this month's budget so far so all good.  Plus it doesn't look likely we will get away this year and I have cash in my "holiday account" which we might just spend some of on meals out on holidays and things.

[Deleted User]

Did a walk past the house (and actually had a sneaky look around grounds as it's empty!), don't think it's for us, so we might not bother viewing.  Went to park with DC's yesterday but ended up having lunch at home.  So coffee only in the cafe which saved a few ££.  Takeout pizza last night but no idea how much until hits card as DH collected.  We have a couple of slices left over for lunch today.

Spending is a little out of control - checked the card this morning and DH been ordering gardening stuff (even though we currently don't have a garden!) for doing stuff at his mum's.  Now down to half budget left for the month until 20th.

My dad sent us £20 to get easter eggs (he does this every year as my brother lives close by so he buys him and his wife one, but we don't live near so he sends us a cheque - which is so sweet) but there were literally none left when I went to look.  So, anyway, that will just go in the general spending account.  We have some small wrapped eggs which we bought which we will do an easter egg hunt for DC1 and his cousins in garden at MIL's tomorrow.  SIL also has some too apparently.  Luckily I'd bought DC1 and his cousins a small egg a few weeks ago so at least he has that.

Feel like we are failing at tightening the belts and just haven't even taken any notice of the fact I'm not getting paid.  I know we don't NEED to, but DH doesn't understand that for me, it's psychologically important that we try not to dip into non-salary money at all.