Now or never

WinterWarrior

The sanctuary sounds wonderful! 

Its_time

Yes just the word is soothing 😊
Well that's enough Silent Witness for me, most of it I can cope with but some episodes are horrible and last night I was awake worrying about the reality of something like that happening, which I know it does.  I needed a wee and was so scared I couldn't get up to go until it was getting light, I've told DH back to the teletubbies as viewing for me. 
Each day feels like it is rolling into the next with the same old things, right down to the same conversations a bit of luck or excitement would be good.
I'm  really struggling with my diet I just want to scoff biscuits, crusty bread and butter and anything else that makes me feel better.
On a brighter note my first lettuce seed has made an appearance this morning....on one hand great! on the other...yay lettuce 😞
I have joined the Tilly tidy thread and am looking forward to getting going but until something shifts in the bank I'm stuck.  No more debt overpayment till a fortnight's time, time to practice some patience.

WinterWarrior

Oh biscuits, bread and butter, yes please. 

I used to worry about medieval torture just from school books. Iron maidens and scolds bridles, etc. Shudder. The ability of people to inflict suffering on other living beings is unbelievably horrific. It really doesn’t bare thinking about. 

Good luck on the Tilly tidying.

CRANKY40

I don't watch horror films any more because I like to be able to walk round my house in the dark. About the eating....to those of us with an emotional response that involves food, it's a means of calming. Try holding a pen or something similar in your teeth. It looks strange so maybe try it when you're alone first but it stops me from eating just for the sake of it and not because I'm hungry. 

Its_time

@WinterWarrior I remember those lessons, horrific things they did, how can people think to do it, baffles me.
@CRANKY40 you might just be my saviour! I've never thought of that, I literally get anxious and eat, straight away, then within seconds I feel myself calming down, I can be fighting it all day and then all of a sudden whoosh I am stuffing biscuits or pasties or anything similar, then I feel bad.  Today has been so bad I even wondered if I had a sniff of a vicks nasal tube would it help? I know it's mad but I am desperate, I will give the pen a go. Thanks again.
Well as I said above today has been a bit rubbish and I am shattered so I am going to have a lie on the settee and leave the dishes till the morning.

WinterWarrior

I going to try drinking tea…I’ve stopped snacking before by pretending I’m enjoying my lovely filling cup of tea….I might try and get that mojo back!  I associate coffee with a snack! 

Its_time

@WinterWarrior I thought that was a brilliant idea so today I have drunk tea I even remembered to drink it during a particulary anxious moment as that is when all common sense leaves me.

In addition to tea, I have also had some rescue remedy, I forgot how much this works for me, haven't tried the pen idea yet.  I had a lovely lie in till 9:24, DH left me where I was as I was up in the night with a uncomfortable pain, once it subsided I slept like a log. 

Mucked out at lunchtime instead of first thing, horses were out so they were none the wiser.  They really are incredibly mucky they're lucky I love them.  I have figured out why I never feel like going to do it, I have one sheepdog chasing everything I brush and a jack russell tugging the actual brush, the sheepdog catches everything I throw in the barrow and spits it out whiilst barking and screaming with excitement and then the sheepdog is running backwards as I try to push the barrow up the muck heap snapping at the !!!!!! in the barrow, the other sheepdog arrives at this point and bites his legs as he runs backwards, all hell breaks out until  he leaves and races around the other side of the muck heap meeting me at the top, snapping and grabbing the !!!!!! as I tip it, the jack russell is jumping all over him and biting his back legs the whole time.  Then down the heap and lets start over with the next load.  Well today I shut the buggars out of the stable, swept and mucked out and only had them chasing the barrow, I did have to put up with outraged barks and screams because they couldn't come in.  I'm not sure if I will do the same tomorrow I kinda felt sorry for them...doh...I'm too soft.
The jack russell has been in the veg patch and dug for her life, I looked out and saw her backside sticking up and that was about all I could see, the hole is huge, to make it worse its among DH's raspberry plants 

House insurance has been renewed, I heard her say 'hmmm it's quite a lot this year, oh yes adjustment for stock on premises', I quickly asked if I removed that part would it be cheaper as DS pays his own insurance for his stock.  Oh no that wont make any difference to the price (of course not!).

No slimming world eating today, I calorie counted instead coming in at 1246 calories, I feel quite full and was able to have some chips, it's probably all the tea i've drunk.

Have emptied the tall freezer which has hardly anything in it, plan is to switch it off and save money.  Lots of ancient food in there that is making me cross with my old self but has no option but to go in the bin, the rest of it which is ok has been transferred to the chest freezer.  I did it today as it's bin day tomorrow.

Back to work properly tomorrow for 'The Sanctuary', I will have to have a clean up first and then get on with it.  DD has been on the phone today chatting about her plans for increasing business as she wants to work more days with me as soon as possible.

Plans for tomorrow:
Get up on time 7.15am (that's a big one)
Muck out
Work
Housework
Ironing i've been putting off (only about 7 things but all the same)
Weigh day fingers crossed i've lost something, currently at 11 stone 11 need to be 9 stone 11 minimum by July.

Good news today, well fingers crossed, if we haven't given up Job 1 by the end of the summer there is the possibility of less hours come September.  I know September is a long way off but it's a nice thought.  It would mean 5 hours less a week by finishing an hour earlier each day.

I am wiling away the week just to get to Friday so I can do some Tilly Tidying.

joedenise

You do realise you can make SW chips don't you?  Par boil for about 4-5 minutes, drain and spray and then bake in oven for about 35 minutes.  I turn the tray after 15 minutes and then 10 minutes and then another 10 minutes but that's probably because my oven is hotter at the back then the front!

Of course you could have frozen chips if you syn them.

Its_time

Ewww I completely forgot that!  I saw that recipe when I was scrolling, much better idea, I will get potatoes and make some, thank you @joedenise

enthusiasticsaver

SW chips are lovely and unlimited on the plan.  I sprinkle mine with garlic granules or rosemary to make them a bit more interesting. Try drinking a glass of water if the hunger pangs come in the evening.  I tend to chop an apple into slices and nibble those if I am feeling peckish to save turning to biscuits, crisps, cake or chocolate.