I need serious help and advice to help me see my kids

Labtec81

sheramber said:

While children are allowed to visit a non resident parent are your parents allowed to enter your house under covid rules for the tier you are in?

Yes they are allowed to enter my flat as I live alone, they have my brother in their home and my kids visiting them every week as well, And including my father and my 2 kids that would only make 4 people in my flat altogether where as when my son and daughter are at my so called parents there's 6 people there all the time including my kids. Plus at the end of the day if my kids can go to school in a giant bubble of 30 different kids from 30 different households and sit in close proximity to them where it only takes 1 kid to get the virus and spread it among all 30 kids in the classroom who then go home and spread it to all 30 of their households, they can damn well visit me, yes I do feel that strongly about it.

See above in bold. Thanks.

Labtec81

gizmo111 said:

sassyblue said:

Btw, Skype is being used for Solicitor meetings and Court Hearings but you will still need to provide ID documentation and proof of address for the Solicitor's file and to verify your identity, someone will need to take that to the Solicitor's office, so you need help there and they can’t have a meeting or give any advice with you until they have the ID checks completed.

Assuming he is using a solicitor of course.  BTW I don't know of any family solicitor who asks for this ID to give advice when there is no finance involved?

I won't be using a solicitor.

sassyblue said:

gizmo, what do you mean 'no finance involved'. Solicitors deal with all sorts of problems, contact with children being one of them.  I agree the OP can raise his own case but unless you are really competent I wouldn’t recommend it.

I am more than competent enough to represent myself.

See above in bold for my replies, thanks.

Labtec81

gizmo111 said:

If you can't afford a solicitor then it is not impossible to go through the whole process as a litigant in person and achieve a good outcome.

That's my plan, i'm extremely confident on getting a good outcome because i've seen them many times since my ex left with no contact with her whatsoever being involved backed up by hundreds of photos and videos taken since she left proving i've seen them many times, so her suddenly stopping it again without a damn good reason which she hasn't got and would have to prove anyway even if she did have one I don't doubt there will be a good outcome for me and our kids, because you'd think a reputable judge and anyone involved would say well hang on a minute if he could see them this many times then what is your problem now. And she couldn't give a valid reason even if she wanted to without proof that she doesn't have.

sassyblue

Labtec81 said:

TBagpuss said:
You can then apply for a child arrangements order which you can do online. This can be in the short term to request both direct contact - perhaps with your parents or another person doing the travelling and remaining in earshot while they are with you, given your physical limitations at present, and indirect contact such as a regular pattern of phone/skype calls and emails, and arrangements for the direct contact to increase once you are back on your feet.

My physical limitations have nothing to do with it, nobody can discriminate or use that as an excuse for my kids not to see me! Also I don't need anybody in earshot as you put it.. To listen in on what I say to my kids just so they can report every word back to their mother, yes my dad would be around in case anything happened (which it won't) but it's up to me in my flat whether I even have him in the same room as me and my kids or in fact have him wait near the front door.

Indirect contact such as Skype and phone calls isn't enough, I need to see my kids and they need and want to see me, they're always asking when are they going to see me! And lastly, no offence, but whether i'm on my feet or not direct contact between me and my kids should happen regardless of if I can walk or not.

Sorry but your physical limitations have to (and will) be taken into account and it is NOT discrimination.  This is not about you - it’s about your children visiting you and being safe while they are there in case a 'what if' scenario happens - and you don’t know it won’t happen.

I think you are quite rude about your dad whether you 'have him in the room or make him stand by the front door'.  You will need his help, so you need to calm down, I really wouldn’t go ordering anyone around right now.

in any case I’m glad you won’t give up on your kids, they won’t forget how hard you fought for them. Good luck

TBagpuss

Labtec81 said:

TBagpuss said:

If your mediation was more than 4 months ago you will need to return to mediation to get a MIAM form - if you contact the same mediator they may be happy to sign this on the basis that you tell them you don't think mediation is workable due to the previous failure.

It was more than 4 months ago it was in 2016

TBagpuss said:
You can then apply for a child arrangements order which you can do online. This can be in the short term to request both direct contact - perhaps with your parents or another person doing the travelling and remaining in earshot while they are with you, given your physical limitations at present, and indirect contact such as a regular pattern of phone/skype calls and emails, and arrangements for the direct contact to increase once you are back on your feet.

My physical limitations have nothing to do with it, nobody can discriminate or use that as an excuse for my kids not to see me! Also I don't need anybody in earshot as you put it.. To listen in on what I say to my kids just so they can report every word back to their mother, yes my dad would be around in case anything happened (which it won't) but it's up to me in my flat whether I even have him in the same room as me and my kids or in fact have him wait near the front door.

Indirect contact such as Skype and phone calls isn't enough, I need to see my kids and they need and want to see me, they're always asking when are they going to see me! And lastly, no offence, but whether i'm on my feet or not direct contact between me and my kids should happen regardless of if I can walk or not.

TBagpuss said:

In terms of the schools you can contact them directly to request that you are copied in on any messages sent home -  ask them to send you copies of anything they are sending home. You should be able to attend (probably virtual, in current circumstances) parents evening etc and you can arrange this directly with the school, you do not need to involve your ex at all, simply let the school know that you are the children's father and have PR and they should understand that that means that, you are entitled to information about the children and your ex is not entitled to prevent or veto this As a father with PR you have the same rights as their mum, and she has no authority to seek to stop you having information, and ask them to confirm that legal basis on which they believe that she does.

Oh I have already contacted both schools regarding my kids and I am already on the list to contact me directly with any school reports and anything they send home with them. I made it known that my ex couldn't stop that and that her permission is not and was not ever needed, I sent them my birth certificate, my kids birth certificates and my I.D proving I am their dad and named on their birth certificates and despite my daughter's school saying my ex's permission was needed the second I told them it isn't BY LAW and that I am her father and named on the birth certificate and providing all the information I mentioned they did add me to her contact school database regardless of what her mum thinks.

I think you have misunderstood some of my points.

Mediation - if the previous mediation was in 2016 you will need to attend a further MIAM before you can issue proceedings. 

Someone in earshot. If you are bedbound, there are actual physical, practical limitation on what you can do, so you will need some help. It's not discriminatory nor is it so anyone can report back - but you may need to be able to ask someone to come in to help out with anything than requires physical movement.(hence the suggestion you should have someone within earshot, so if you yell they can hear and come in)  And given that the court has to decide issues based solely on what is in the Children's best interest, they will probably want reassurance that safety issues have been considered and addressed.  if you are worried that your parents would eavesdrop and report back in a way you were not happy with then you may need to consider firstly what you are planning on saying that you would be uncomfortable with your ex knowing about, and who else might be able to offer you the practical help you will need until you are mobile again. 

Indirect Contact Generally speaking, any contact is better than no contact. It will take several months before you get a hearing. So  trying to arrange, and agree, as much contact as you can in the mean time is in your interests. Again, you need to remember that contact is for the benefit of the children, not for your benefit. I'm not saying you should not have direct contact or that your current physical issues make it a non-starter, quite the opposite, what I am saying is that  simply that you may have to start with less than you want and build and build up, not least because short term you can only get what your ex is willing to give. Indirect contact isn't enough but it is better than nothing, and short term you may not be able to get more. 
Given that you may well be looking at next year for a first appointment , and possibly 3 or 4 months after that before you get a substantive hearing, even if Cafcass reports are not needed, so trying to agree something which your ex will consent to is the least-worst option for the short term.  My advice was to get the ball rolling as quickly as you can, so that you can get some proper contact as soon as possible!

gizmo111

The first hearing will take place no later that 6 weeks after issue of application.  This is pretty much kept to when timetabling by the court and hasn't been affected too much by COVID as the hearings are remote and times of hearings are adhered better than when you were hanging around the court all called in for 10am.
PRACTICE DIRECTION 12B – CHILD ARRANGEMENTS PROGRAMME (justice.gov.uk)
14.1
The FHDRA may (where time for service on the respondent(s) has been abridged) take place within 4 weeks, but should ordinarily take place in week 5 following the issuing of the application; at the latest it will take place in week 6 following the issuing of the application

sheramber

Labtec81 said:

sheramber said:

While children are allowed to visit a non resident parent are your parents allowed to enter your house under covid rules for the tier you are in?

Yes they are allowed to enter my flat as I live alone, they have my brother in their home and my kids visiting them every week as well, And including my father and my 2 kids that would only make 4 people in my flat altogether where as when my son and daughter are at my so called parents there's 6 people there all the time including my kids. Plus at the end of the day if my kids can go to school in a giant bubble of 30 different kids from 30 different households and sit in close proximity to them where it only takes 1 kid to get the virus and spread it among all 30 kids in the classroom who then go home and spread it to all 30 of their households, they can damn well visit me, yes I do feel that strongly about it.

See above in bold. Thanks.

I said your  kids are allowed to  enter your house. 
The query was for your father , unless you are in tier 1

In tier 2 you must not socialise with anyone you do not live with or who is not in your support bubble in any indoor setting, whether at home or in a public place. You must not socialise in a group of more than 6 people outside, including in a garden or a public space – this is called the ‘rule of 6’.

In tier 3 you must not meet socially indoors or in most outdoor places with anybody you do not live with, or who is not in your support bubble including in any private garden or at most outdoor venues. However, you can see friends and family you do not live with (or do not have a support bubble with) in some outdoor public places, in a group of up to 6.

 But you seem to have all the answers so  why are you  saying

I need serious help and advice to help me see my kids

TBagpuss

sheramber said:

Labtec81 said:

sheramber said:

While children are allowed to visit a non resident parent are your parents allowed to enter your house under covid rules for the tier you are in?

Yes they are allowed to enter my flat as I live alone, they have my brother in their home and my kids visiting them every week as well, And including my father and my 2 kids that would only make 4 people in my flat altogether where as when my son and daughter are at my so called parents there's 6 people there all the time including my kids. Plus at the end of the day if my kids can go to school in a giant bubble of 30 different kids from 30 different households and sit in close proximity to them where it only takes 1 kid to get the virus and spread it among all 30 kids in the classroom who then go home and spread it to all 30 of their households, they can damn well visit me, yes I do feel that strongly about it.

See above in bold. Thanks.

I said your  kids are allowed to  enter your house. 
The query was for your father , unless you are in tier 1

In tier 2 you must not socialise with anyone you do not live with or who is not in your support bubble in any indoor setting, whether at home or in a public place. You must not socialise in a group of more than 6 people outside, including in a garden or a public space – this is called the ‘rule of 6’.

In tier 3 you must not meet socially indoors or in most outdoor places with anybody you do not live with, or who is not in your support bubble including in any private garden or at most outdoor venues. However, you can see friends and family you do not live with (or do not have a support bubble with) in some outdoor public places, in a group of up to 6.

 But you seem to have all the answers so  why are you  saying

I need serious help and advice to help me see my kids

One of the exceptions to the rules against gatherings is where 
 "The gathering is reasonably necessary for the purposes of arrangements for contact between parents and children where children do not live in the same household as their parents or one of their parents"

Gizmo is correct the the first appointment should be within 6 weeks of the application being issued, however, the court will generally only make orders by agreement at that first appointment, so if OPs ex won't agree to contact, it will take longer before there is a more substantive hearing on the issue. Timescales vary depending on where you are in the country, but you would be looking at the end of January for a first appointment (and OP doesn't have their MIAM form yet) and probably a minimum of another 6 weeks for a further substantive hearing, and longer if any reports were required. It could very easily be March or April before there is a substantive hearing.

BabyStepper

Wow. Some of the replies on this thread have taken my breath away. From what is described, the OP's ex and parents are taking advantage of the pandemic and OP's broken hip to try and dismantle his relationship with his children through stopping them from visiting him. OP, no wonder you're furious, anyone would be. When one parent uses their children to act out their anger at the other parent, the only losers are the children. Every effort should be made to stop that happening, for everyone's sake but especially the children. You're a dad with full parental rights, you are entitled to make sure those rights are respected. 

It's been said here already, but is worth saying again because some people seem to have forgotten, children with separated parents can travel between their homes in the pandemic and can be supported to do so. And adults with broken hips who need support to get on with their daily lives are entitled to get that support. There is no suggestion here that the OP is not capable of thinking through the practicalities, or that he's endangering his children in any way. You have been thrown a red herring OP with all the chat about tiers and what's allowed and what's not. If your children go to school, catch the virus, then bring it to you, well that's family life for everyone at the moment. Of course it's a massive worry, but we don't stop parents looking after their children because they might catch the virus from them. These exceptions exist because it is blatantly obvious to everyone that children need their parents.      

Another red herring, how long the whole process of legal action might take, is besides the point. Yes, it might be drawn out and frustrating and expensive and enfuriating, but given your children are only 11 and 8 it will be well worth it. They have many more years of childhood before they can make their own decisions about coming to see you and in the meantime, they need their dad. 

I'm glad others have been helpful about how to go about making this happen. I wish you all the very best with it. Your children are lucky to have such a devoted dad. Try not to let your ex, your parents or anyone on here undermine your determination. Your children will thank you for it in later years.    

Aranyani

BabyStepper said:

You're a dad with full parental rights, you are entitled to make sure those rights are respected. 
  

He has parental responsibility.  No such thing as parental rights, it’s the children who have rights.