I need serious help and advice to help me see my kids

sassyblue

I assume your parents would collect your children and bring them to see you, returning them home after? is that any further distance than they are currently travelling because travelling distance will be taken into account along with COVID restrictions at the moment, i.e. travelling between tiers.

To be honest, considering your circumstances you are having Skype contact and if it’s regular, it may be considered enough right now until you get back on your feet, but that’s not to say proceedings can't start so your ex knows you mean business and the process does take some months so it could all be agreed by the time you’re mobile again.  

I saw your comment saying ‘it’s not about caring for them right now' - unfortunately it is about caring for them. Someone will have to be around if your children visit you in case of emergency.

One word of caution though, if this case has two or three hearings expect any Solicitors bill to be between £9,000-£15,000. Depending on what your ex wants to bring up or accuse you of, you may require a Barrister or a Barrister's Opinion too.

Also, even if it goes to Court and an Order is agreed she could go back on it weeks or months down the line (if she’s stupid or evil) and you would need to go back to Court.  Getting the Order may not be the end of it - it is for the majority - but not for some unfortunate parents.  I just don’t want you to think the Order will be final.

btw, I see what you say about your mother but in all honesty I can understand why she does as your ex asks her, your parents want to see your children too so I'm not surprised she tries to keep on the right side of her, at least your children are having that contact.

sassyblue

Btw, Skype is being used for Solicitor meetings and Court Hearings but you will still need to provide ID documentation and proof of address for the Solicitor's file and to verify your identity, someone will need to take that to the Solicitor's office, so you need help there and they can’t have a meeting or give any advice with you until they have the ID checks completed.

sheramber

While children are allowed to visit a non resident parent are your parents allowed to enter your house under covid rules for the tier you are in?

gizmo111

sassyblue said:

Btw, Skype is being used for Solicitor meetings and Court Hearings but you will still need to provide ID documentation and proof of address for the Solicitor's file and to verify your identity, someone will need to take that to the Solicitor's office, so you need help there and they can’t have a meeting or give any advice with you until they have the ID checks completed.

Assuming he is using a solicitor of course.  BTW I don't know of any family solicitor who asks for this ID to give advice when there is no finance involved?

sassyblue

gizmo, what do you mean 'no finance involved'. Solicitors deal with all sorts of problems, contact with children being one of them.  I agree the OP can raise his own case but unless you are really competent I wouldn’t recommend it, and should he approach a solicitor for advice they should take your ID prior to doing so or at the very least complete a conflict check.

TBagpuss

gizmo111 said:

 BTW I don't know of any family solicitor who asks for this ID to give advice when there is no finance involved?

Some solicitors verify the ID of all new clients, after all ,they are receiving money to pay for their services even if they are not handling money on the client's behalf.

That said, if the issue is purely around contact they may willing to accept workarounds such as scans of the ID, plus a video call to check it against the OP, so it may not be necessary to get physical ID to their offices. 

gizmo111

sassyblue said:

gizmo, what do you mean 'no finance involved'. Solicitors deal with all sorts of problems, contact with children being one of them.  I agree the OP can raise his own case but unless you are really competent I wouldn’t recommend it, and should he approach a solicitor for advice they should take your ID prior to doing so or at the very least complete a conflict check.

I meant that they are not handling finance such as a house purchase, or holding funds to pay a third party for example.  You do not need to be 'really competent' to start the process, once the form is submitted to court, Cafcass will undertake safeguarding checks and make initial recommendations, the first hearing will make directions and Cafcass will either be directed to file a S7 report - around 12 - 16 weeks later, or have no further involvement.  Contact may be ordered in the interim.  If you can afford legal fees then of course it makes sense to have the expert from the beginning, but if you can't then it is not impossible to go through the whole process as a litigant in person and achieve a good outcome.

sassyblue

Ah I see but the Solicitors I work at won’t give any advice or even speak to potential clients without an appointment booked and ID taken and copied before the appointment. It’s irrelevant whether there are any financial matters involved. 

Labtec81

TBagpuss said:

If your mediation was more than 4 months ago you will need to return to mediation to get a MIAM form - if you contact the same mediator they may be happy to sign this on the basis that you tell them you don't think mediation is workable due to the previous failure.

It was more than 4 months ago it was in 2016

TBagpuss said:
You can then apply for a child arrangements order which you can do online. This can be in the short term to request both direct contact - perhaps with your parents or another person doing the travelling and remaining in earshot while they are with you, given your physical limitations at present, and indirect contact such as a regular pattern of phone/skype calls and emails, and arrangements for the direct contact to increase once you are back on your feet.

My physical limitations have nothing to do with it, nobody can discriminate or use that as an excuse for my kids not to see me! Also I don't need anybody in earshot as you put it.. To listen in on what I say to my kids just so they can report every word back to their mother, yes my dad would be around in case anything happened (which it won't) but it's up to me in my flat whether I even have him in the same room as me and my kids or in fact have him wait near the front door.

Indirect contact such as Skype and phone calls isn't enough, I need to see my kids and they need and want to see me, they're always asking when are they going to see me! And lastly, no offence, but whether i'm on my feet or not direct contact between me and my kids should happen regardless of if I can walk or not.

TBagpuss said:

In terms of the schools you can contact them directly to request that you are copied in on any messages sent home -  ask them to send you copies of anything they are sending home. You should be able to attend (probably virtual, in current circumstances) parents evening etc and you can arrange this directly with the school, you do not need to involve your ex at all, simply let the school know that you are the children's father and have PR and they should understand that that means that, you are entitled to information about the children and your ex is not entitled to prevent or veto this As a father with PR you have the same rights as their mum, and she has no authority to seek to stop you having information, and ask them to confirm that legal basis on which they believe that she does.

Oh I have already contacted both schools regarding my kids and I am already on the list to contact me directly with any school reports and anything they send home with them. I made it known that my ex couldn't stop that and that her permission is not and was not ever needed, I sent them my birth certificate, my kids birth certificates and my I.D proving I am their dad and named on their birth certificates and despite my daughter's school saying my ex's permission was needed the second I told them it isn't BY LAW and that I am her father and named on the birth certificate and providing all the information I mentioned they did add me to her contact school database regardless of what her mum thinks.

See my replies in bold above again. Thanks.

Labtec81

sassyblue said:

I assume your parents would collect your children and bring them to see you, returning them home after? is that any further distance than they are currently travelling because travelling distance will be taken into account along with COVID restrictions at the moment, i.e. travelling between tiers.

No my dad would pick them up to see me and take them home after, I have no relationship with my so called mother..  They live in the same town as me with the same Tier restrictions so nothing changes there.

sassyblue said:
To be honest, considering your circumstances you are having Skype contact and if it’s regular, it may be considered enough right now until you get back on your feet.

As mentioned above to someone else indirect contact such as Skype and phone calls isn't enough whether it's regular or not, I don't care if my ex or so called mother think it's right because it's not right and if they can see my kids I can without question! THEY'RE MY KIDS!!! Only me and their mum have the most rights to see them nobody else above and beyond us two, anybody else seeing them should think themselves lucky!

sassyblue said:

I saw your comment saying ‘it’s not about caring for them right now' - unfortunately it is about caring for them. Someone will have to be around if your children visit you in case of emergency.

I'm not stupid, you knew exactly what I meant, so it isn't about me caring for them right now because obviously I won't be until I get back on my feet, you know full well this is just about seeing them.

sassyblue said:

One word of caution though, if this case has two or three hearings expect any Solicitors bill to be between £9,000-£15,000. Depending on what your ex wants to bring up or accuse you of, you may require a Barrister or a Barrister's Opinion too.

I won't be using a solicitor anyway I will be representing myself and my case is so strong backed up by proof I have seen them hundreds of times over the last 5 years since my ex left by photos and videos taken over the last 5 years all date stamped with dates and times i've seen them. Also I was quoted between £4000 and £6000 which is absurd as only super rich people can afford that amount of money, solicitors are just frankly greedy whether you agree with me or not.

sassyblue said:

Also, even if it goes to Court and an Order is agreed she could go back on it weeks or months down the line (if she’s stupid or evil) and you would need to go back to Court.  Getting the Order may not be the end of it - it is for the majority - but not for some unfortunate parents.  I just don’t want you to think the Order will be final.

My ex is clearly evil, otherwise my son wouldn't have had to beg her to speak to me, no son should have to beg to speak to his own father! And I know that she could go back on it weeks or months down the line and I would take her to court again and again and again if I have to, I'll never give up on my kids not ever.

sassyblue said:

btw, I see what you say about your mother but in all honesty I can understand why she does as your ex asks her, your parents want to see your children too so I'm not surprised she tries to keep on the right side of her, at least your children are having that contact.

Well i'm sorry but I can't and I never will! Whose mother is she supposed to be mine or my ex's? I will never take my son or daughter's ex's side just so I can see my son or daughters kids if they ever have any, I will always be in my kids corner fighting with them, never against them just so I see their children! You say at least my children are having that contact, since when is my children seeing my so called parents more important than seeing their dad! It isn't, and your comment saying at least they're having that contact really angers me to be honest.

sassyblue said:

Btw, Skype is being used for Solicitor meetings and Court Hearings but you will still need to provide ID documentation and proof of address for the Solicitor's file and to verify your identity, someone will need to take that to the Solicitor's office, so you need help there and they can’t have a meeting or give any advice with you until they have the ID checks completed, and should he approach a solicitor for advice they should take your ID prior to doing so or at the very least complete a conflict check.

I won't be using a solicitor so won't need to provide them with anything, I am more than competent and committed to representing myself in court without question. Also i'm fully aware of conflict checks as obviously if a solicitor if I was to use one was already representing my ex then they couldn't also represent me because of the conflict you mention.

See above for my replies in bold. Thanks for your replies, genuinely.