Hints and tips welcome to discourage someone from drinking too much

cymruchris

mason's_mum said:

I dealt with this with my father. It was his way (however inappropriate) of dealing with stress and depression.
My mother tried everything to get him to stop, she went with him to the GP and to counselling sessions but to no avail. He got to the point where he was hiding the whisky in beer. My sister used to find the bottles of whisky hidden around the house and pour them down the sink. Nothing made any difference. The final straw came when he was drunk one evening and tried to attack my sister.
At that point my mum left (my sister and I were away at university most of the time at this point).
My Dad moved in with his mother (who didn't believe anything my mother had said for the past 15 years) and continued to work and drink, hiding the issues from everyone, with seemingly no ill effects... Eventually it led to complete organ failure and spending a month in intensive care. We all begged him to stop, however, even this wasn't a wake up call, and the drinking continued, numerous strokes, kidney failure (several years of both haemo then peritoneal dialysis) and ultimately a perforated duodenal ulcer, resulting in surgery and another stay in hospital. It was there that despite the best efforts of the nurses, due to the confusion caused by withdrawal he fell out of bed and hit his head resulting in a severe bleed on the brain - the doctors decided that due to all his other comorbidities that neurosurgery wasn't in his best interests, and I spent several hours waiting by his bedside for him to pass away. When he went, it was terribly sad but also a relief. It felt like all the demons were gone and he was finally at peace, unlike at ANY other time of his life.
Apologies for the essay - I guess my takeaway was like others, that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. with my dad there was obviously underlying issues that he wasn't able to work through after years of therapists, family support, begging, threats and eventually action. None of us could solve the problem, and he didn't want to. The important thing is not to get too emotionally involved - it's not your fault, nor your responsibility. You can only be there to support and advise as best you can.
Good luck - it's completely horrible and I really do sympathise!

Thanks for sharing your personal experience - sometimes an essay is what's needed - so don't worry about writing lots! It sounds like you had some quite similar challenges - but as you say he's now at peace. In a sense, I feel the same for him, as he lost his wife just over a year ago in quite difficult and sudden circumstances, and he hasn't been able to fully get over it. You're right about being there to support and advise the best I can.