NST DECEMBER Don't Be a Martyr for Christmas

mothernerd

Monday 21st December 2020
8 Factors that contribute greatly to Emotional and Mental Stability
1)    The absence of suspicion and resentment. Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.
2)     Not living in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression.
3)     Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change. Cooperate with life instead of trying to run away from it.
4)     Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress.
5)      Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. Accept the fact that no-one gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune.
6)      Cultivate the old fashioned virtues - love, humour, compassion and loyalty.
7)      Do not expect too much of yourself. When there is too wide a gap between self-expectation and your ability to meet the goals you have set, feelings of inadequacy are inevitable.
8)      Find something bigger than yourself to believe in. Self-centred, egotistical people score lowest in any test for measuring happiness.

Be the Person Who Breaks the Cycle
If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you - to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

Let yourself find peace with the apology that's never coming even if it came, it wouldn't be enough and it doesn't hold your healing. 

ldee2111

mothernerd said:

Feeling good. Don't know which of the things I've done (or which combination) but I'm much calmer, happier (waking up smiling) and more me than I have been for years. About 6 weeks ago I was in a serious downward spiral so I'm very pleased (and no I'm not bipolar). Clean, clear bed, bits that are still messy are out of my sightline. I've eaten lots of veg listened to music and done my best to relax and ignore the drama monkey.

More little bits of tidying today and some things to get rid of before the year end (they may need to be in the shed temporarily but they are leaving my life) including the 'on their last legs' clothes - will only be used for painting and other mucky jobs so will stay in the shed.

Unexpected visitor today (they stayed outside the gate) so speed wrapping (mum hadn't done it, although I told her last week to have it all ready) and then lunch was late so threw something together, not a great meal but we both had enough to satisfy us and I have some rice on one side to make a salad.

Grateful for seeing my niece (don't think I've seen her since my brother's funeral), a relaxed afternoon chilling with 'call the Midwife' (with frantic tidying in the ad breaks), not needing to make myself go anywhere and being calm about my to do list (very much do what I can and ignore/ forget about the rest).

Glad you’re feeling this way mothernerd. I find getting to this place takes a conscious effort - reminding myself that eating healthier makes me feel better, that doing things I enjoy lifts my mood, and keeping a check on my thoughts and decatastrophising (don’t know if that’s a word?!) makes me feel calmer. It takes work and there are many times I don’t have the energy to do that work, but through time and keeping reminding myself, I hope it takes less effort to get to this place.

Rowan9

Love these wise words Mothernerd. X

DrCarrie

Hi Turtles...still robbing Peter to pay Paul...Credit card still unused.

Got a new job. 

Greatful for:
- as the solstce turns there will be more light
- My yoga communuty, in my living room via zoom everyday. 
- a break from work. 

ldee2111

I've surprised myself by reaching 10/15 NSDs!

No walk today as I've neglected all else (apart from changing our bedding) to get through a pile of work on my to-do list before finishing up for Christmas. I really want to return to a clean slate in January, and a clear inbox and desktop! 

Now that we're going into near lockdown again from Boxing Day, I need to get donations to the charity shop in the next couple of days unless I want piles of bags hanging around the house. I do not! I want that 'clean slate' feeling at home too. 

Why does a date on a calendar make us feel this way? Why not the 7th February, the 19th March, or the 24th August? Each is a new day after all. But a new year just seems to have more influence. Anyway, I'll make my New Year goals, and on the days they don't work out, I'll tell myself 'tomorrow is a new day'. 

For lunch today I had that delicious chilli cheddar cheese toastie I mentioned in my last post - the cheese was never going to survive more than 24-hours. Tonight’s meal planned dinner is penne arrabiatta with roasted veg and olives. Little effort needed since the sauce was from a batch cook I did a couple of weeks ago.

Grateful for batch-cooked dinners, getting a load of work done, freshly washed bed sheets. 

apple_muncher

Well done on the new job DrCarrie! Can you spill any beans?

Today I am grateful for Unions putting out advice, for going for a muddy walk with dd, for dh getting more twinkly lights a-twinkling, for dh meeting a friend to lookfor the aligned planets, for leftovers to make an easy tea.

lcc86

Today I'm grateful for getting some fresh air, catching up on most of my work and being able to stay home as my work appointment was cancelled. Also bagged another NSD.

Was meant to donate blood but have a horrible cold so cancelled as per their advice. I feel bad as I'm sure lots are cancelling atm.

OH is now seriously saying he's going to his parents' for Xmas day despite the effective lockdown. Give me strength. The irony is he's not even close with his family yet for some reason can't go without seeing them. Honestly...

DrCarrie

apple_muncher said:

Well done on the new job DrCarrie! Can you spill any beans?

Thanks so much Apple. It's a clinical lead role in a private healthcare (psychological) company.  Its just over a year since i left the NHS, and have been self-employed for this period. Very happy to have a bit of financial security. 

f0xh0les

Waahay!! Go DrCarrie!  Congratulations.

Solstice Blessings to each and every turtley little one of you.

It is too wet here to see any planets, quite disappointed.  

Today I ended up volunteering for 8 hours, instead of 3, it was needed, the boys were all happily playing on their computers, and DH is still working (marking essays) so I did 3 hours, came home and made a rather lovely biryani with samosas and pakoras for lunch,  and then went back for 5 hours.  DS4 helped make supper ( tomato spaghetti again), but was much appreciated when I came home to have a meal that he had cooked for me.  DS3 is making vegetable stew tomorrow.

Tomorrow is house cleaning day, bed changing day, cake baking and gift wrapping day, in readiness for Wednesday birthday .

I will decorate my Xmas cake in readiness for Thursday (no Xmas cake allowed until birthday cake is over), and lunch will get as many leftovers as possible out of the fridge in one fell swoop.

So keep warm and dry, and try not to worry about things you cannot change or influence.

Just heard about a dozen people leaving the house next door (blowing party tooters of all things).  Some people eh?

misstara

Sorry for the compete lack of posts, it's not been a good month so far.  Struggling with low mood and work has been very stressful so haven't really had any motivation.  No idea of NSDs and I haven't been keeping ynab up to date so also no idea of how the budget really looks other than I know I have seriously overspent.  On the positive side I have had my covid vaccine and go back in the new year for the 2nd dose .  Just going to try to do damage control for the rest of the month and start the new year afresh.