How much rent should I pay my partner?

hannah021

Marvel1 said:

Angela_D_3 said:

hol30something said:

@hannah021 to be clear, I have more than enough for a deposit and am in a strong position to buy my own home. We would just rather live together then seperatley. 

I bet you bloody would 🤣

Care to answer Lover_of_Lycra's post on the previous page?

based on that logic i shouldnt live in any rental property thats paying mortgage, because the landlord is likely using my rental money to pay his mortgage, yet i cant make any claims towards his mortgage! That bitter thought some ppl have towards helping their partners, doesnt appear towards a random stranger called landlord! Yet it is foolish to call it "helping a partner", because thats not about the partner, it is about paying for YOUR OWN LIVING.

I'm baffled, never heard a renter ask agencies to please find me mortgage free property cuz im not paying towards the landlord's mortgage unless i can claim contribution!!

EmmyLou30

I think you should expect to pay something towards living in his house, nothing in life is free and no reason you should gain all the benefits just because he happens to be the one with the house. I know why you feel like you don't want to be paying someone else's mortgage when you could be paying your own and it may feel like wasted money......but if you agree a sum that equates to less than market value rent you can still manage to be saving more money towards your future house deposit than where you currently rent alone and your boyfriend gets a bit to help with the mortgage/house repairs. In your scenario of just paying for half the bills, if you were to split up you walk away with tens of thousands extra saved up because you got to live rent free.....boyfriend walks away with nothing extra. Is that fair? Of course not.  

If things go well all the money will be one big pot for the next house anyway so none of this will matter. 

If things don't go well you walk away with a bigger savings pot having lived more cheaply than you currently do renting alone. So you won't have lost anything really aside from time not being on the property ladder. 

SallyDucati

Blimey, some of these posts are getting contentious!  The OP and her other half are in a relationship, if they pay rent or not is a decision for them.  Should pay your own way? Of course.  Want to protect your property by not giving someone else any possibility of claiming equity because they've paid rent?  Of course.  But both wishes together can't ever work.  
They are a couple, some sort of mutually agreeable situation should be workable until they are both in a position to go into home ownership together (which is a HUGE commitment and not to be taken lightly).  Perhaps the OP paying for holidays?  Just my thoughts..  

hol30something

@SallyDucati... The amount my other half wants to go on holiday.. it would definitely be cheaper paying the mortgage!!!! 
Absolutely, I think people are forgetting that we are in a loving relationship and neither of us want to swindle each other but similarly are just trying to protect our own interests of things did end badly.  Hopefully we will own our own joint home in the not too distant future. 

Angela_D_3

Lover_of_Lycra said:

I’m amazed at all those saying the OP should help pay off the partner’s mortgage when he doesn’t want her to have any kind of claim on the property. Do you people understand how repayment mortgages work? 

What a bit like renting .... my tenant has nothing to show for the rent he’s paid for the privilege of living in my house.  He doesn’t get to sleep with me eityer wgich May or not be an advantage.  At least in this situation there’s a chance they’ll marry and all the money she pays will be “theirs” one day but until he agrees to the legally binding contract she needs to contribute.  Threads like these give women a bad name.  I’d be advising my son to be wary.  

If in two years she decides he’s not for her she’s saved a nice little nest egg at his expense.  

Angela_D_3

hol30something said:

@SallyDucati... The amount my other half wants to go on holiday.. it would definitely be cheaper paying the mortgage!!!! 
Absolutely, I think people are forgetting that we are in a loving relationship and neither of us want to swindle each other but similarly are just trying to protect our own interests of things did end badly.  Hopefully we will own our own joint home in the not too distant future. 

He’s not protecting his interests and you are swindling him.  Not very loving behaviour 

Mojisola

Angela_D_3 said:

What a bit like renting .... my tenant has nothing to show for the rent he’s paid for the privilege of living in my house.  He doesn’t get to sleep with me eityer wgich May or not be an advantage. 

But your tenant has legal protections - a live-in partner can be made to leave their home with no notice.

princeofpounds

It's remarkable how these threads always get contentious. Ultimately the best solution is one that works best for you both as a couple, assuming maintaining a good relationship is the primary goal. That may not mean the same thing for everyone.

When thinking about how hard it is to reconcile the ideas of a) contributing indirectly to a mortgage and b) not having a permanent claim on the property, I think a lot of people absolutely forget that there are two components to any mortgage payment. One is repayment of principal and the other is interest, which is effectively a rental payment for the money used to buy the property and builds up no equity in the property.

Particularly in the early years of a mortgage, the latter is vastly larger than the former. There really isn't anything intrinsically unfair about contributing at least towards the interest on a mortgage. It is conceptually not very different to contributing to a share of rent on a tenancy, only it's the money to buy the property, rather than the property itself, that is being rented.

I'm not saying you have to choose to do that. But people who get on their high horse about not contributing a penny, and who can't perceive that in itself may not be fair in some situations, are often working from a faulty conceptual model where they see value simply getting transferred from one partner to the pocket of another. In fact, up to a point the value is actually getting transferred to the bank first. 

Having a partner in a property you own is not necessarily costless, particularly if you've bought one that's a bit larger in order to accommodate two people more comfortably. But certainly it's no great burden either (or shouldn't be!) and the non-monetary considerations are arguably more important. 

Whatever you do, best of luck to you both!

[Deleted User]

hannah021 said:

Marvel1 said:

Angela_D_3 said:

hol30something said:

@hannah021 to be clear, I have more than enough for a deposit and am in a strong position to buy my own home. We would just rather live together then seperatley. 

I bet you bloody would 🤣

Care to answer Lover_of_Lycra's post on the previous page?

based on that logic i shouldnt live in any rental property thats paying mortgage, because the landlord is likely using my rental money to pay his mortgage, yet i cant make any claims towards his mortgage! That bitter thought some ppl have towards helping their partners, doesnt appear towards a random stranger called landlord! Yet it is foolish to call it "helping a partner", because thats not about the partner, it is about paying for YOUR OWN LIVING.

I'm baffled, never heard a renter ask agencies to please find me mortgage free property cuz im not paying towards the landlord's mortgage unless i can claim contribution!!

Do you not understand the difference between renting with an AST and having exclusive occupation of a property versus living with a partner? Clearly not otherwise you wouldn’t be baffled. 

[Deleted User]

Angela_D_3 said:

Lover_of_Lycra said:

I’m amazed at all those saying the OP should help pay off the partner’s mortgage when he doesn’t want her to have any kind of claim on the property. Do you people understand how repayment mortgages work? 

What a bit like renting .... my tenant has nothing to show for the rent he’s paid for the privilege of living in my house.  He doesn’t get to sleep with me eityer wgich May or not be an advantage.  At least in this situation there’s a chance they’ll marry and all the money she pays will be “theirs” one day but until he agrees to the legally binding contract she needs to contribute.  Threads like these give women a bad name.  I’d be advising my son to be wary.  

If in two years she decides he’s not for her she’s saved a nice little nest egg at his expense.  

It’s actually nothing like renting with an AST or PRT if you’re in Scotland. Given your previous posts on this forum I’m not in the least bit surprised you don’t know or understand the difference.