How much rent should I pay my partner?

hol30something

My partner and I have been together for nearly 2 years but have know each other for much longer. We love in different cities but the plan is for me to move to his city.
He owns his own property and I do not. I have money in the bank for a deposit to buy my own house however I have held off as we want to live together.
The plan initially was that I would pay half the mortgage and go on the deeds however he has now changed his mind and wants to pay the mortgage on his own, to avoid any difficulties if we were to split up in the first two years of living together.
His house is not a house I would choose to buy and it is not in an area I would choose to live however I want us to be together.

The question is, what is a fair contribution for me to pay? Given that I could buy my own place and pay off my own mortgage, I would feel aggrevied to pay rent. I think we should just split bills so that I can continue to save my money so that I have some financial security of my own.

I am worried that this house will never feel like my own home.

hazyjo

Half the bills. Not half the mortgage or house improvements.

Save your money as a "get out plan" if it doesn't work out.

If it's all fine and rosy, perhaps buy together in 2 years' time. Hopefully you'll have equal deposits at that stage.

MovingForwards

You don't pay your partner rent.
Half of the utilities, council tax, internet, food etc. Nothing towards the mortgage, property repairs etc.

Keep saving your money as a safety net or towards your new joint property.

hol30something

Thank you both. I thought that seemed reasonable however I've seen people who are in a similar scenario who pay rent on top of bills and needed a second opinion that my thought process was right! 

Angela_D_3

I would charge Rent if someone moved in with me.  You could have a lodger type tenancy.  You don’t get to live rent free anywhere,  even if goes in a holiday pot that you both benefit from.  

hol30something

Angela_D_3 said:

I would charge Rent if someone moved in with me.  You could have a lodger type tenancy.  You don’t get to live rent free anywhere,  even if goes in a holiday pot that you both benefit from.  

The problem with me paying rent, is that if I didn't move in, I would be paying my own mortgage off. So why pay off his? Also to be noted; I am the one compromising location for us to live together. 

Angela_D_3

hol30something said:

Angela_D_3 said:

I would charge Rent if someone moved in with me.  You could have a lodger type tenancy.  You don’t get to live rent free anywhere,  even if goes in a holiday pot that you both benefit from.  

The problem with me paying rent, is that if I didn't move in, I would be paying my own mortgage off. So why pay off his? Also to be noted; I am the one compromising location for us to live together. 

So buy your house or one you rent out and keep a foot on the ladder that way.  My 18 year old pays rent,  it’s life we all have to 

[Deleted User]

This scenario has been discussed as nauseam on the forum. He doesn’t want you to have a claim on his house so you shouldn’t be contributing towards his mortgage. He can’t have his cake and eat it. 

Despite what @Angela_D_3 says this is not a lodger type arrangement. For starters lodgers aren’t expected to share a bed with their landlord! Not that he would be your landlord, he’s your boyfriend, someone you intend to build a life with and live as one household not two separate ones. 

MalMonroe

I wouldn't like to be paying mortgage or rent towards a house that my partner could ask me to leave at any time if we decided that we couldn't live together, because there's no security. Not saying that will happen to you but with the best will in the world, nobody knows what may happen in the future.  Of course I'd be happy to share living costs but it'd worry me if I weren't paying rent but - also it'd worry me if I were!

Your partner's paying the mortgage anyway, and in a similar position I would not expect my partner to contribute if his name wasn't on the deeds. Nor would I want my partner to be my lodger.

Reading between the lines, it seems that you do want to buy your own property and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as you can afford it. There's also this that you said, "I am worried that this house will never feel like my own home".  I think you're right because he doesn't seem to want to share it.

Also the fact that you say, "he has now changed his mind and wants to pay the mortgage on his own, to avoid any difficulties if we were to split up in the first two years of living together" seems to indicate that he's not 100% sure that sharing is the right way forward.

Why not move in with him for a while and share all the costs while you look around for something to buy? Or you could look around for something else to buy together, a house you both like, that you would both pay for and it'd give you the opportunity to see how you like living together too. 

hol30something

Thanks for everyone's advice. I think me moving in and paying half towards bills is the safest option for both of us. Hopefully, it will all work out swimmingly and in a year or so, we can buy a place together. 
As a first time buyer, I don't think it would be too viable to by a rental property with my money and as the ultimate goal is to live together in a shared home, I think I will just continue saving. 

hol30something

@TheGreenerGuru at this stage, he hasn't asked for any rent and I think he will be happy with a contribution towards bills. We are just discussing what is fair and I've asked him to think about what he thinks is sensible and reasonable. I don't think I should pay rent but I just wanted to see if I was way off the mark and get some outsiders opinions. 
Yes 2 years is long enough to know it's for the long haul in my opinion but I also understand why he is being cautious.