Reel around the fountain

there_is_a_light_2

Budget updated  for February, made a few adjustments
- electric DD has reduced from £97 to £58/month
- no council tax this month as pay over 10 months - usually £164
- no contribution to youngest this month (usually £100-£150), she's had her student finance through and still at home so I'll feed her instead!
Total in - £1903      Direct debits out - £1302     Remaining - £601.02.
Of the £601.02 remaining, I'm thinking 60% (£361) to debt repayments and 40% (£240)  shopping/everything else
£240 for shopping is plenty (well for me/youngest - not sure about OH) but it's the everything else which always gets me.  Hopefully there's nothing major left in the house that needs fixing, I'm not using the car much so won't need petrol this month, and obviously not going anywhere to spend money.  

I've got £900 left in savings - my secret emergency fund - I don't want to fritter this away and would like to build this back up to £1000.  To do this, I'll keep on at the surveys and look at other ways of bringing in some extra cash. 

Still avoiding adding up the debts - they haven't gone up massively but also not reduced which I'm not happy about.  I will face up to it and update my signature.  They may have gone up more than I am admitting so not looking forward to that.

To start my longer-term planning, I've dug out all of my pension paperwork; registered for online access for the pensions that I know about with 2 different providers and have contacted an old fund that I'm sure I was once part of to let them know I'm still alive.  I'll be 55 later this year so want to know if I can draw down any money and use this to pay off OH so we can go our separate ways.  This isn't something I'll do lightly but just fact finding at the moment.    Will do lots of reading and take advice on this but it's worth knowing if it will be an option at least.

mark55man

a lot is on hold at the moment, but yours is definitely at the more challenging end of the spectrum.  I'm sure you'll be OK - don't forget the value of the house and the value of the pension may be equal in size so know what the value is before you trade.  make sure you are thinking 10 years out as well as the 10 days / weeks to come.  can't help with the offer stuff, but plenty of wise women (not me! neither!!) will help you out no doubt

AntoMac

Nice to see you back. Sorry to hear that things still aren’t going well but it’s good that you have a plan.  I guess you have to get round to starting that difficult conversation with your OH. Wish I could offer more practical advice.
One thing I will tell you that you already know.... There are brighter sides to life and I should know because I’ve seen them, But not very often.
Keep going and keep posting. You will get this sorted

mark55man

sorry TIAL as they are a bit gloomy - but these are some of my favorite lyrics

I sat in my room and I drew up a plan
Oh, but plans can fall through (as so often they do)

So all I am saying is be careful because its easy to think it all through, but this is a one off so you need to get advice and you need to be flexible and good luck

there_is_a_light_2

Morning!
Thanks markman55 and antomac - lyrics always welcome, they made me smile this morning.  If anyone can get me through this phase in my life, it’s the lyrical genius himself, so keep them coming.  I feel an update to my signature coming on, but so many lyrics to choose from.  Gives me a good excuse to dust off my playlist and see what jumps out at me.

Up early for my favourite time of the day, everyone else still asleep and a couple of hours chilling before work. Debating whether to go for a walk before work, can’t wait for the mornings to get lighter as going out in the dark is never as appealing.

Jobs for today
- Payment to CC - already accounted for
- Add up the damage on the CCs and - update my signature, not looking forward to that one
- Check mortgage balance
- Estimate how much house is worth - I’ve no idea as never envisaged selling it
- Bit of research around pensions, I think I’ve got around 5 different pots from past employment as well as the one with current employer
- See where I can get some advice, we have access to an employee assistance programme at work but no idea what that includes so it’s time to find out

As markman55 so rightly said, I need to plan for not just the next 10 days, but also for the next 10 weeks and 10 years. As someone who finds it hard to plan for the next 10 minutes (indecisive, me?) that will be a challenge. But I will take this advice on board. 

Time to get ready for work, busy day ahead with meetings,  still not decided whether to go for that walk!

Onwards and upwards.  Hope everyone has a good day.  Lots of bulbs starting to sprout up in the garden. I planted them just as things started to go t*ts up at home knowing that they would cheer me up for years to come. Bit of forward planning there, very rare for me!

there_is_a_light_2

Payment made to CC, will tot up the total damage later. Some went up, some went down. Probably more up than down. Not a good start to my debt busting. It was mostly necessary stuff but I definitely slipped back into old ways and feeling angry with myself. Nothing major in the grand scheme of things but annoying!

mark55man you mentioned about the value of my house possibly being the same as the pension and knowing their value before I trade. A very rough estimate shows that the equity in the house could be pretty much equal to my pension values, not including the one I’m paying to now which is only a couple of years and one that I’m trying to trace.  Value of house is much more than I thought but that’s just based on local prices so not sure how accurate.  Pensions until today I had no idea of their value.  But what does this tell me?  Outstanding mortgage is well within the amount I should be able to borrow if I went it alone and still affordable for me, but the big question is how do I work out a fair figure to offer OH and how do I finance this - by drawing down some pension or by adding to the mortgage?

Next big question, if we can agree a sum amicably which I’m sure we’ll be able to, and I can raise that sum through one of the 2 ways above do we need to use solicitors?

Lots to ponder on and lots more reading up to do. I could do with phoning the mortgage company and the EAP advice line for starters but opportunities for private phone calls are rare at the minute so need to find time to do this.  Not much I can do about releasing anything from the pensions until the summer, not sure if I can wait that long.  Even if we come to an agreement, he cant go anywhere till he has some cash unless the borders open and then he could go stay with family.

Think I did most of the things I said I would today.  The totalling of the cards will have to wait till tomorrow, there’s a match to watch tonight and eldest already sending his usual pre-match messages.

Feel much better when I offload  my thoughts on here, it stops them flying around my already crowded head!

vixx_123

I'm not saying this is the right way but my friend's husband left her and she's bought him out of the house by remortgaging to release his 50% of equity. They didn't split any other assets. This is their way of doing it amicably (no kids etc etc). Other friends who have separated have been getting financial advice and will probably use solicitors.

Sarahwithlove

I think I'd probably say go down mortgage route. But maybe try get some financial advise. At least with mortgage you can make overpayments but you can't put back into the pension. Also if you can get a mortgage then when it comes to taking your pension next year you can always pay some off mortgage then. 

mark55man

I haven't had to do a pension split on divorce so I don't really know.  It depends
* - if its a DB (defined benefit), the scheme has to estimate a CETV (Cash Equivalent Transfer Value) and then that can enter into the debate.  I'm not sure of you have to transfer to cash or if you cam take half the pension (ie you take his or he takes yours). 
* If its DC (Defined Contribution).  Then its just a pot of cash and will be halved.  I don't know but I imagine it will have to stay in a pension vehicle eg Personal pension or SIPP. 

Depending if its a commercial or government DB scheme you might expect a CETV of somewhere around 30 x the predicted salary - so good be a serious amount of money.  If you think your pension is much better than his, I would keep schtum, but I imagine it is a standard part of the questions these days.

Hope this is helpful, but I would do some proper research

Sarahwithlove

If you're pension is better maybe suggest that you both just keep your own pensions and only split assets? Do you think he would go for that? It's what my parents agreed but their divorce was quite amicable.