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In process of being bought out of house by ex, but I'm not sure I want to go down this route anymore
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Comments
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frewbz said:Doozergirl said:Of course you can. Or she can buy you out properly. I wouldn't get bogged down in the emotion of what she has versus what you have - what you need is to be free, more so in the future than now, but it is essentially for your future so that you can buy again when you are ready and aren't legally tied to someone else,
bringing emotional baggage to your next relationship.The mortgage penalty will have to be paid but it will be worth it in the long run.The present resolution is not satisfactory and the best thing for you is to not own any part of it.
If you can't live there then you need to come to an agreement about the equivalent of rent for the occupation of your share,
often they pay all the mortgage you retain your share is a compromise
Do you have independent legal advice?
It look like the reason it is going this way is because they cannot buy you out and you remain liable for 100% of the mortgage.
If it requires new lending and an ERC is payable you share that liability.
when the agreement was drawn up why were no conditions put in for a potential split other than get your deposits back.
whichever of your two options you take you are going to be tied to this person 5 years , even when they have moved a friend in.0 -
Okay once you think it makes sense to stay on the mortgage then don’t accept the 1% clause everything will have to stay 50/50. If you eventually sell she can get her £16k deposit first. She will have to pay the mortgage in full as long as she stays in the house as you will also be sorting your own accommodation during this time. The fact that she is paying the mortgage in full will not entitle her to more money other than her initial deposit. If she is not happy with this tell her you are happy to sell now, you need your name totally off so you can move on with your life. Don’t let her have her cake and eat it!One thing I want to just point out from experience is you might find down the line it would have been better if you lost the £6.5k and just get out of this totally as you might find she will tie you down indefinitely in this mortgage. If I were you I would get out totally and lose money now and be free as tie ins with Ex’s never end well! After sometime she will not talk to you and she won’t sell the house or buy you out and your name will be tied in until you go to the courts and at that point you will lose more money! It seems painful to lose money now but down the line it will be more painful!PLEASE DON’T sign the document being drafted!!!! She is really taking advantage of your good nature!Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £258k, target £243,750(halfway!)
Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️),Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳).MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
£12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
MFiT-T6#27
To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
Am a single mom of 4.Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓0 -
frewbz said:Doozergirl said:Of course you can. Or she can buy you out properly. I wouldn't get bogged down in the emotion of what she has versus what you have - what you need is to be free, more so in the future than now, but it is essentially for your future so that you can buy again when you are ready and aren't legally tied to someone else,
bringing emotional baggage to your next relationship.The mortgage penalty will have to be paid but it will be worth it in the long run.The present resolution is not satisfactory and the best thing for you is to not own any part of it.
Thats before you even get started on the opportunity cost (both in money terms and in being able to get on with your life) of being tied to a large loan, and hence unable to get a new mortgage.0 -
You need a clean break your credit will be affected by being tied in with this property but living elsewhere, In five years she will more than likely consider the house her long term hpme and be more reluctant to sell and.or might not be in a position to buy you out. She will more than likely have moved in a new boyfriend and there might be children involved. Within five years she might die and have willed her share to whoever, Similarly you might meet someone and want to set up home with them. Tou need to pay the ERC between you. Very little capital is repaid in the first five years it is mostly interest on the whole amount0
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I wouldn't accept being tied in for 5 years and getting a 1% share.
You would split the ERC with your ex. 50/50 so £3250 is the price to get on with your life without worrying what the ex is going to be doing for the next 5 years and if she would actually sell at that time.
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another voice saying do not allow this deal to go through
you are being ripped off,
either come off the mortgage and do what most people do when splitting: a "clean" break. You have got your deposit (and no interest on it for its use over these years) therefore you should also get 50% of any equity based on the current value of the property when she pays you in cash (thereby getting the "interest" for use of you deposit and obviously your mortgage payments to date). You then most certainly come off the mortgage and walk away having nothing further to do with her or the house
or, if she can't pay the equity (or more likely cannot get a sole mortgage) then the house is sold now and each side walks away
the "deal" you appear to be committing yourself to stinks, refuse it whilst you have time, give her back her £5k if needed to you are both back to square one and start again2 -
You also say your ex is dealing with the mortgage company and you *think" she's told them.
Think isn't good enough. If your name is on the current mortgage then you need to contact them directly yourself and check the implications of your plan. For example if she stops paying for any reason, would you still be liable? Even if she has a new partner living there at that point?
I'm another who considers you should just cut your losses and sell, but if you don't for heaven's sake stop taking her word for everything, check it out yourself and get proper legal advice which I suspect you haven't done as yet or you wouldn't be saying you can't force her to sell.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.1 -
Having gone through a similar process with my ex, except I was the one keeping the property, you're getting a raw deal. I stayed in the property and paid the mortgage, he rented elsewhere but his name was still on the mortgage as I didn't earn enough at the time to officially take it on myself. A bit later down the line, we got 2 valuations, and I brought him out, paying him 50% of the equity and removing his name from the mortgage and title deeds. So in return for keeping his name on the mortgage he benefited from the increase in property price. We both felt it was a fair deal.
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You can , for the time being , simply do nothing. Let her pay the mortgage in full. While retaining a 50/50 ownership of the property. Force her hand. Without your agreement your ex is stymied.0
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frewbz said:haras_n0sirrah said:The only other potential option is to ask for the property to be revalued in x years (when bought out or property sold) and you are entitled to 50% of any uplift in value minus costs in recognition that you are being prevented from being able to buy yourself by being tied into this property.
That would be the idea if I kept ownership of the house and choose to not be bought out yeah. I think financially it's in my best interest?So if there is any document to sign it will be a document that says the house has to be sold(to her or someone else) in the year such and such.So she has to buy you out or accept the above.Initial mortgage bal £487.5k, current £258k, target £243,750(halfway!)
Mortgage start date first week of July 2019,
Mortgage term 23yrs(end of June 2042🙇🏽♀️),Target is to pay it off in 10years(by 2030🥳).MFW#10 (2022/23 mfw#34)(2021 mfw#47)(2020 mfw#136)
£12K in 2021 #54 (in 2020 #148)
MFiT-T6#27
To save £100K in 48months start 01/07/2020 Achieved 30/05/2023 👯♀️
Am a single mom of 4.Do not wait to buy a property, Buy a property and wait. 🤓0
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