In process of being bought out of house by ex, but I'm not sure I want to go down this route anymore

haras_n0sirrah

The only other potential option is to ask for the property to be revalued in x years (when bought out or property sold) and you are entitled to 50% of any uplift in value minus costs in recognition that you are being prevented from being able to buy yourself by being tied into this property.

frewbz

getmore4less said:

Did you both qualify for the discount independently? 

We did yeah

frewbz

Doozergirl said:

Of course you can.  Or she can buy you out properly.  I wouldn't get bogged down in the emotion of what she has versus what you have - what you need is to be free, more so in the future than now, but it is essentially for your future so that you can buy again when you are ready and aren't legally tied to someone else,
bringing emotional baggage to your next relationship.

The mortgage penalty will have to be paid but it will be worth it in the long run.  

The present resolution is not satisfactory and the best thing for you is to not own any part of it.

She won't buy me out of the mortgage though and I can't afford the £6500 fee and even if I could I don't think it's a logical option, it's a hell of a lot of money. Whatever happens I can't be free short term. I'm either tied to the mortgage but don't pay half, or I'm tied to the house and mortgage and pay half, but at least with the latter there's a high chance I will get something out of it in the end no?

frewbz

haras_n0sirrah said:

The only other potential option is to ask for the property to be revalued in x years (when bought out or property sold) and you are entitled to 50% of any uplift in value minus costs in recognition that you are being prevented from being able to buy yourself by being tied into this property.

That would be the idea if I kept ownership of the house and choose to not be bought out yeah. I think financially it's in my best interest?

unkle

When you say buy out, is there any equity in the property right now?

Doozergirl

frewbz said:

Doozergirl said:

Of course you can.  Or she can buy you out properly.  I wouldn't get bogged down in the emotion of what she has versus what you have - what you need is to be free, more so in the future than now, but it is essentially for your future so that you can buy again when you are ready and aren't legally tied to someone else,
bringing emotional baggage to your next relationship.

The mortgage penalty will have to be paid but it will be worth it in the long run.  

The present resolution is not satisfactory and the best thing for you is to not own any part of it.

She won't buy me out of the mortgage though and I can't afford the £6500 fee and even if I could I don't think it's a logical option, it's a hell of a lot of money. Whatever happens I can't be free short term. I'm either tied to the mortgage but don't pay half, or I'm tied to the house and mortgage and pay half, but at least with the latter there's a high chance I will get something out of it in the end no?

You can force a sale.  

With the benefit of age, I can tell you that there is no way you will want to be associated with any ex after five years.  

What happens if the Covid and Brexit chickens come home to roost and the price of the house falls?    What happens if you become well able to afford a house yourself in the next five years but are prevented? Any gains would be entirely your own, not split.   Even end up having a baby?  How is your next partner going to feel about you being tied into a house with your ex, preventing you from buying together?  Any price rises or gains from renovation work on a house with someone else would be genuinely shared, and therefore doubled.  A LOT happens in five years. Your ex may simply not want to move at that point or even become a mortgage prisoner, unable to remortgage through misfortune.  The legal fees if she gets stubborn could easily wipe out that £6k you're trying to hold on to.  Best to rip the plaster now.  
 
 

Sometimes it really shouldn't be about the money.   Because life will happen.  If you get out as neatly as you hope you will in five years time, you will have been lucky,  because there is no such thing as a life plan.  You are best placed to to cut free now rather than be trapped for the sake of £6k.   Life is more valuable than that. 

People will make their own mistakes though.  

Angela_D_3

Totally agree with no kids involved you should force the sale and get off that mortgage one way or another.  You could be married with two children in 5 years time.  And probably will be.  

ElizabethRose

As others have said tell her she needs to buy you out properly (remove you from the mortgage) or sell. 5 years is an awfully long time when you're young. In that time you could meet someone and have kids but because you're still tied to the mortgage so could struggle to buy a new house with your new partner. Good luck but sometimes the early repayment charge is a small price to pay in the long run.

Ashworks

I completely agree, staying tied into the mortgage is a disaster waiting to happen. Make a clean break - ether sell or ask her to remortgage. Then share the cost of the mortgage penalty. It's in her interest to have a clean break too. 
Imagine all the arguments over who pays for maintenance, insurance etc if you still have an interest in the house... its just not worth it.

steampowered

I don't understand how it can be the case that you can come off the deeds, but remain on the mortgage.

It doesn't work like that. The bank will insist on the people on the mortgage and the owners of the property being the same.

You actually *CAN'T* sign over the property while the mortgage is still outstanding, regardless of what you and your ex want.

A "clean break" is strongly desirable, if at all possible. Don't try to gamble on Cornish house prices increasing - they could go down. Remember Cornwall will be one of the areas most badly hit by Brexit, and by the government spending cuts that will need to happen after Covid.

If a clean break is impossible, then yes you should benefit from house price increases if you are still paying the mortgage.