I really hate my inlaws

MalMonroe

GingerLs said:

Comms69 said:

1 message "i'm sorry you did such a rubbish job being parents, that you're still raising your child 30 years on" - done. 

😂😂 I wish, the last time I gave them a piece of my mind after the car situation they went absolutely crazy and told my partner he wasn't allowed to marry me and advised him to end the relationship, quite literally. That is how ridiculous they are.

Hmm, it's not really up to you to give them anything, though. Pieces of mind included. Why does he tell you what they've said? And why do either of you take any notice? You both seem to be igniting the flame unnecessarily. Best not to say or do anything to aggravate the situation. Treat his parents like the children they are. 

GingerLs

MalMonroe said:

GingerLs said:

Comms69 said:

1 message "i'm sorry you did such a rubbish job being parents, that you're still raising your child 30 years on" - done. 

😂😂 I wish, the last time I gave them a piece of my mind after the car situation they went absolutely crazy and told my partner he wasn't allowed to marry me and advised him to end the relationship, quite literally. That is how ridiculous they are.

Hmm, it's not really up to you to give them anything, though. Pieces of mind included. Why does he tell you what they've said? And why do either of you take any notice? You both seem to be igniting the flame unnecessarily. Best not to say or do anything to aggravate the situation. Treat his parents like the children they are. 

I've biten my tongue for years and that's really good for someone like myself who says it as it is. To have only gave them a piece of my mind once in 7 years of knowing them when they've been so vile regularly is pretty good going for me I say 😁 and they very much deserved it. We aren't igniting the flame, but you're right that we should treat his parents like children. Thanks for the advice 😊

Smodlet

Dr. Phil (who used to be on Oprah, google if you care to) said we teach people how to treat us.  I could pick a world of holes in this for extreme circumstances but, on the whole, think it is fairly true.  If you teach someone that speaking to you without respect is unacceptable and, if they fail to modify their behaviour, you will just walk away, they tend to get the message.  Whether they do or not, you walked away so why should you care?

I have to wonder, as I think was alluded to earlier, whether your partner is deriving some kind of satisfaction from being the centre of attention while you and his parents compete for it; if so, he/she needs to grow up now. 

Sorry, OP, but the ball appears to be in your court.  You have the choice to either put up with things the way they are or to change them:  To don the big pants or not to don the big pants; I know which I would choose but then, I am probably much older than you and therefore have less time to waste.  Make a choice.

Claddagh_Noir

I do not envy you. I have been here, but this was in the first two years of the relationship.  I had to confront an in-law several years ago because they were being too intrusive in every way, so much so we are glad we do not have children.  They didn't take it too well because no one else in the family had had the balls to address anything with this person EVER.  Since then, things have been tolerable and there has been no more encroachment and cliche in-law hell. 
I would be petty as hell and say to MIL, in her face   'OK Norma Bates, have your son back!'

I wish you luck!!

Savvy_Sue

It's going to be something you and he have to agree on, IMO. 

He can love them without tolerating their behaviour. You don't have to see them or engage with them, but if he lets them manipulate him life will be 'interesting'. 

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

I really do feel for you. You have to think about the kind of life you will have with them in your life. Your beloved is letting them ride rough shod over your lives. That's unlikely to change any time soon.

 In my experience, l have to be the one to put my foot down. He is used to them; l'm the one who objects to their behaviour, ergo, it's my problem/ l am the problem. It's working ok at the moment but the witch has decided to move near us so l will be reading her the riot act on boundaries and getting divorced if it doesn't work...!