NST October The Turtles Go Outward Bound

mothernerd

Sorry I've been trying to write something for the past few days. Loo roll headboard is fine (it's made out of 24 packs so a bit like straw bale building), lovely flat top which holds the tray for my mask/ CPAP machine/ glasses and the four plug bar is next to it. Lamp is in a good position for reading and sewing and trolley fits on the end (toilet roll headboard is only half the width of the bed, although may investigate the insulation/ useful height shelf potential at my house if I ever get back there). I did take the precaution of filling the kitchen cupboard that has loose rolls and put another (plus the last of the nine roll packs that were sent as a substitution) on top of the freezer, so I don't need to dismantle my headboard in the next few weeks.

So, the weekend before last mum was ill. She felt cold, so had the heating on high, felt dizzy, kept shaking. In fact she was very hot so the surrounding air felt cold. I had to help her get up from her chair and when she  decided to go to bed (early although she had gone for a lie down in the afternoon), I took her to the bathroom and wiped her face and hands with a cold flannel (she keeps telling people I sloshed her with cold water). But it broke the fever and she was much better but still a bit weak for a few days.

We had her telephone appointment with the consultant (she can go out for a walk as long as she stays away from people - I've never said she can't go for a walk, but she wasn't going for walks before the lockdown). I spent the day doing my room, six hours worth - still some mess but I still have some food, some of mum's clothes, two 'C' trees, the dining table, all the towels, mum's spare pills and a whole lot of other things that aren't 'mine' in here and have tried to move everything of mine from every other room in the house.

Then I became ill, cough was tearing my chest out for a few days but now receding back to nuisance level. I told mum I was ill and would stay in my room as much as possible but she kept coming in 'to tell me things' (like complaining that she had been shouting for me to answer the phone as she was in the kitchen - I can't hear the phone through two closed doors and certainly can't hear her shouting from further away). Then she complained when she got the cough on her chest. I think we are both fed up and need a break from one another but it's just not possible. When I feel a bit better I may take my little rucksack with supplies and go and sit in one of the bird hides on the country park.

So lots to do, not capable of doing much. Yesterday I hung my washing out - a sheet and a towel, went to get the post - mum request, and later on I gathered up rubbish from two small bins and the large kitchen one and put them all in the black bin. Taking it out through the gate and down the short path I had to stop 3 times.

I'm frustrated by my lack of progress, I am trying to get things done but not going to overextend myself. I have been told that mummy of twins will come next week and will weed the front garden (there must be 15 weeds out there), build the rockery and as an encore mum wants her to dig up the two rose bushes in the side garden which will then be covered in stones and be the new place for the bins to be (this is about the tenth change of use mum has thought of and about the fourth I have implemented - she wanted the pretty stones used for edging, then I had to paint all the reclaimed edging stones I dug out of that bed, then she decided I could edge it with those instead, but not at the end as I had to concrete a space for the blue bin, last year Mr Builder had to drill out some of the concrete as mum wanted the edge stones all the way along - what I had suggested in the first place etc, etc, etc.). If mummy of twins manages half of what mum has planned she will be doing well.

I asked if I could buy a large tin of the paint the fences are done in. No, it's the wrong time of year for painting. What I didn't say - well I have to paint the old boards to smarten them up, paint all the wooden bits for the 3 new raised beds (currently away in the shed), then get them built and in position ready for planting next year and why did you make me buy the black and silver paint for doing the gate, if it's not going to get done.

I am feeling weak, vulnerable and a bit down (more than a bit - still not reconciled to being here another six months let alone 'embracing the new normal'). Putting my positive head on I am debt free again (paid off the nasty WTC people), emergency fund is okay and put three £2 coins into my toucan money box. I really need to work on my diet, exercise, energy and fitness levels and build my resilience to the point where mum's second guessing everything I do (have I done this - yes, yes, and yes, Can you do - already done it, Don't forget - on the list or already done, or I was on my way to do it when you stopped me. Why have I done - because I'm a logical creature and I have to do a, b, and c in order to make space/ be able to do x,y and z).

I will get there. I will be cheerful. I will find things that make life better, do some of the things I love, accept this phase of my life and find ways to 'own' it. I am thankful for a few days of relative peace, for sewing (except when my eyes hurt or my hands shook), lots of reading, a jigsaw puzzle, Harlots and Roadkill, listening to the Beatles and Travelling Willburys, rescuing small animals, penguins and fiends, easy food, for feeling a little bit better than I was (still weak as a kitten but if I can do one or two things a day or a few little bits, I'll settle).

Hugs to abundant and anyone struggling with 2020. Thinking back to January when 3 appointments in a week led to an extra 11 overnight. We have made a tentative podiatry appointment for March 1st 2021.

lcc86

Afternoon all, quick check in on my lunch break. Wracked up a few more NSD's so now on 17. Won't quite hit my target of 20 but it's good enough! I was in between client visits this morning and had a spare 30 minutes so popped to IKEA to get something for my mum's birthday. Typically have come out with much more than I planned, although some of it is Xmas related. 

Budget is set for November. I have no overtime at my full time job so trying to get a start date for my zero hours job to see if I can get any hours there. It's like getting blood from a stone... 

Checked my rabbits insurance and the excess is £55 which is lower than I thought so I will do a claim, at least I should get £45 back. She seems fighting fit and back on form touch wood.

f0xh0les

Oh motherned have some turtle hugs! You are a flippin' star.  I would give yourself a few days and take a thermos of hot choc  and a sticky bun off to a hide in the woods and scream (or croak) swear words at ducks and geese and just breathe.   Take some monkey nuts and try to tame your  own real life squirrels.

Well done on being debt free. That has been hanging over your head for a while, congratulations.  I think you need to change your mindset a little (if I may be so presumptuous) and treat this as a financial detox, rather than a 6 month sentence with no time off for good behaviour.  There will be an end to this.  DS3 and Beloved are having a bit of time 'playing grown ups', and you will get back to your own house at some point and the woodland creatures will have been in to tidy up for you, like in Sn0w White.    It must be a nightmare having to share with grannynerd again -  at what age do they treat you like an adult and not an irresponsible know-nothing child?  So I have something to look forward to.

[Deleted User]

Sending hugs mothernerd - it must be so hard for you, I hope things improve soon x 

DrCarrie

apple_muncher said:

DrCarrie - yikes, it's nearly the end of October already!

Anyone wanna set up November?

(Am willing as ever to do it, but you must surely be getting bored of me!)

What is the job description? I am not sure I have enough experince! 

I had a no interenet day yesterday - but i did have a spend day. Hopefully today and tomorrow will see me right. 

apple_muncher

DrCarrie said:

apple_muncher said:

DrCarrie - yikes, it's nearly the end of October already!

Anyone wanna set up November?

(Am willing as ever to do it, but you must surely be getting bored of me!)

What is the job description? I am not sure I have enough experince! 

I had a no interenet day yesterday - but i did have a spend day. Hopefully today and tomorrow will see me right. 

How's about you have a read back (when you have some time, so it is an enjoyable activity) of previous NST threads, to get an idea of what we try and get up to... And see if you fancy running one in the future...

And I'll get a challenge together for November

apple_muncher

November is live:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6207452/nst-november-2020-madness/p1?new=1

DrCarrie

apple_muncher said:

November is live:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6207452/nst-november-2020-madness/p1?new=1

...and it is amazing. So creative! Thank you. 

Toni'sfriend

Mothernerd, you are a marvel.

Plodding on here. Does anyone use Amazon prime to get a Morrison's order?. I like Morrison's when I'm in England but there aren't so many in Scotland and our nearest one is miles away. Today I bought some tubs of sweets for that day in December because they were on special offer and they arrived less than two hours later. I must say I was very impressed. I'm finding it difficult to get some items (especially fresh fish) from other supermarkets and we no longer have a fishmonger locally. I'd be interested in any thoughts or advice. I'll still buy from the local butcher and corner shop though.

Well. I obviously spent some money today but that's OK. Just getting myself organised.

Bit more decluttering done. Where did all these boxes come from. Must be something to do with the Boy.

mothernerd

I've just had some good news. I checked into online banking to check my balance and there was more than there should be. Looked through to see what had happened and the WTC people sent my payment back yesterday. Not had a letter to say anything but it looks like they have given me back the second year. They originally wanted two years repaying but I could quote from conversations I had had with them to show their errors so they accepted that I had done everything they asked and only asked for one year. I thought this was wrong (was technically still entitled) but didn't have any more evidence. Don't know why they've reversed the decision (they decided they had done what they were legally required to do and don't you dare ask for a penny more) - I did give lots of mitigating circumstances, cited my mental health, or my extreme poverty (only managed to pay it back because DS3 gave me his household contribution up until next May) but it's mine, at least for now (mum says to keep it on one side in case they ask for it back).

So I'm out of debt, have my £1000 emergency money and probably enough money to live for a year without any income. I may go slightly mad and spend some money. House repairs and a revamped kitchen are possible. I am going to continue saving but may buy some of the things I was going to ask mum to buy from my present money - mainly books and candles from Oxfam and maybe some slouchy clothes (the holes in this dress are getting larger by the day and I have two more that can't be worn in public).

Thanks to all the turtles who replied to my woes - feeling a lot more financially secure now and quietly happy. Just being a bit further away from the cliff edge is so much more relaxing.