First Steps to Solvency

FootyFanDan

What an achievement to get to day 100, I can't imagine you or the wife imagined you would get this far but well done. It is evident that the off budget spending from Mrs is making you anxious/frustrated. I think personal budgets could be the way to go with this one, but I guess you would then need confidence that she won't just reach for the card and it is clear she isn't there yet. Me and OH each get £300 on payday and that is to last us the month on whatever each wants, what she spends from that and on what is irrelevant to me as once its allocated and in her possession it no longer affects the joint budget.

I totally get the not seeing the point in working if your not going to try enjoy some of the earnings, it is just finding the balance.

RelievedSheff

I forgot to say congratulations on reaching day 100. 😀

Big achievement. Time to look ahead to the next goal. 125 days maybe?

maggiem

Congratulations on reaching day 100 - brilliant. Onward and upward now. 

Sun_Addict

Day 100 fantastic 👏🥳 

Hazelnutty

enthusiasticsaver said:

LOL at your wife aspiring to being a WAG as a "career" and it is a slap in the face of sexism tbh and a regression to the 1950s housewife stereotype which was my mothers era.  I wonder what the career advisor said.  I am not sure why some girls/women have such  low aspirations but I am sure the rubbish reality tv programmes they make now like Love Island and such and social media and growing up in deprived areas with poor education has something to do with it. I realise that probably makes me sound a bit of a snob but I do think that these things don't help in encouraging young women to get a career in their own right rather than see themselves as an extension  to their successful husbands or partners. Footballers marriages are seldom happy and many of them end up bankrupt so rather than "settling" for you she seems to have done very well.  At least you agreed to stay in Nottingham near her parents which is something most footballers would not do. 
 
These low aspirations are  not something I recognise from my daughters or their friends growing up (similar age to your wife)  but I guess they leaned towards likeminded people and all the young women from their social groups have careers in their own right and bring up families as well sometimes. We also come from a  typical middle class area and have little to no pockets of poverty around us so no doubt privileged so perhaps it is more widespread than I think. 

£1.7k seems a small price to  pay if it makes her stay on budget. What would that need to cover?  My husband and I both have £300 a month personal spends so £3.6k a year so I can foresee if that needs to cover all her spends (clothes, hair, presents, entertainment (other than family)) she is quickly going to go through that. That is really less than £150 a month which can of course be done but sounds like a drastic change from what she is used to and the idea is to get her on board.  Of course if that is supplemented by nails income then that is another matter. A £ a week for each year of your sons life sounds like a good idea. Hopefully it will get them both out of the idea that there is a magic money tree somewhere. 

Agree - and what's the impact on the son in terms of how he sees women as he grows up? It's not a great model in terms of him recognising women as equals and their careers as of equal value as his (as we've seen in the pandemic, it didn't take long for the assumption that it's women who will take a step back from work, manage the home-schooling or can be the parent disturbed during WFH hours to take a firm hold. Someone will say #notallmen but there is plenty of peer-reviewed research on this now so it's enough!) If he sees women's priorities as maintaining beauty regimes and spending on superficial stuff, while men's are to  earn a lot to support all this, he's hardly going to take them seriously - but he's also likely to heap pressure on himself to 'deliver', with all the mental health consequences if he feels he isn't. So not good either way.

Hazelnutty

annabanana82 said:

My Son's year book last year, one of the votes was for "Most likely to be a WAG" so not sure just how much things have moved on.  I'm not sure how the parents of that the girl that won that title felt, but I think I'd have felt some disappointment if others perceived my Daughter in that way.

That's disgraceful - hope there were complaints.

warby68

Congratulations on 100 days - very pleased for you. I think a his and hers fragrance purchase would be a nice treat - something nice but shows you're in it together.

Hopefully this old alt style talk about houses, levels and your wife is just another bit of your obessive/addictive personality popping up briefly and will settle down again

strawb_shortcake

Many congratulations on 100 days, I hope the trust and faith your wife has in you to stay clean continues to grow.
You should be very proud of this achievement.

RelievedSheff

I am hoping this is day 101?

enthusiasticsaver

Hope you are just busy this weekend and have not fallen off the wagon as not seen a post from you since Friday evening.  I did not see your post for Day 100 but if you have got there with no relapses congratulations.