First Steps to Solvency

theoretica

You strike me as having a strong special interest in cars - I can't see that going away - but you need to find a way to live with it which doesn't mean buying ever more expensive cars and putting yourself at the mercy of the economy.  Consciously working to develop other (non-spending) strong interests might help.

alt80

@theoretica yes I that’s true. 

I was trying to find a way to live with it but not constantly in the depreciation / finance cycle by getting rid of the BMW and buying an XJS/ DB7/ other older performance GT (will cost money I’ll have to finance but it will lose no money over time).

The counsellor has told me to consider other goals / distractions / hobbies that aren’t buying stuff or cars. Not thought of any that will distract me enough yet tbf. There’s stuff I like to do every now and again - gym / family walk etc but doesn’t give me a high.

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on first overpayment to  Barclaycard and yes in view of your tendency to spend I think you were right to insist the money was paid immediately.  What was your wifes' reasoning for waiting until the end of the month?  

mamamu

alt80 said:

Re Minis - I have a real dislike for them. Yes I’ve driven one and don’t see the attraction. I don’t like hatches or FWD cars; always had RWD cars or 4x4s. My choice/ preference - lots of people prefer FWD/ hatches, their choice. Not just about performance cars I’d much rather drive a low powered 3 series than a Mini. 

Re ‘wealth whispers’ etc Cars are something some get and some don’t. Do I wish I wasn’t interested sometimes - yes, life would be a lot easier but I am interested. Again my choice and nothing to do with how much/ little I have I’ll always be a car guy. Do I think people judge - yes, we all do plenty of cars have ‘images’ or image problems lol: Fiat 500 - daddy’s little princess, A4 - rep / middle manager / family man, Range Rover Sport - n*b / slumlord / footballer’s wife. @warby68 I know plenty of investors / developers with no interest in cars whatsoever and who give those of us interested in them a certain amount of stick. Also know plenty with an interest. Do some tenants / investors / others probably think I’m a bit of a n*b, yeah that’s quite likely. Are there some who’d take great delight in knowing I’m going through hard times - undoubtedly. There’s a big difference between always being the one turning up the the van / Mini / Astra or whatever and being known as someone who likes driving a different type of vehicle but suddenly started turning up in the first type. To spell it out if I turned up in a Mini or whatever tomorrow people would ask / judge.

@ryanm8655 I know things could and will (if I don’t / can’t) be a lot worse. That’s why I want to deal with it. I’d like to be at a point of having the cards paid and the accounts closed. Literally keep one for spends (paid off each month) and no more. 

I genuinely cannot see how I can clear the cards in a year. Wife has had a few bits sell to friends and I’ve told her this evening it needs to come off the balances of the cards, we can’t just keep it or I will spend it so made a £400 payment from a £500 bag she sold (told her to keep the £100 And I was going to pay off the card at the end of the month but just cleared). She had another bag sell for £650 so that’s taken the balance of the Barclays to £8200 as I put a bit extra to round it down to the nearest hundred so first actual overpayment made. Felt strangely satisfying to take the balance down and like a positive step In the right direction - doing what I said rather than delaying. Wife thinks I’m being a bit silly about clearing it asap and not waiting until the end of the month. I don’t. If I hang onto the money I will spend it. 

Reducing, clearing debt can be very satisfying and addictive. You might like it lol. 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Re Minis - I have a real dislike for them. Yes I’ve driven one and don’t see the attraction. I don’t like hatches or FWD cars; always had RWD cars or 4x4s. My choice/ preference - lots of people prefer FWD/ hatches, their choice. Not just about performance cars I’d much rather drive a low powered 3 series than a Mini. 

Re ‘wealth whispers’ etc Cars are something some get and some don’t. Do I wish I wasn’t interested sometimes - yes, life would be a lot easier but I am interested. Again my choice and nothing to do with how much/ little I have I’ll always be a car guy. Do I think people judge - yes, we all do plenty of cars have ‘images’ or image problems lol: Fiat 500 - daddy’s little princess, A4 - rep / middle manager / family man, Range Rover Sport - n*b / slumlord / footballer’s wife. @warby68 I know plenty of investors / developers with no interest in cars whatsoever and who give those of us interested in them a certain amount of stick. Also know plenty with an interest. Do some tenants / investors / others probably think I’m a bit of a n*b, yeah that’s quite likely. Are there some who’d take great delight in knowing I’m going through hard times - undoubtedly. There’s a big difference between always being the one turning up the the van / Mini / Astra or whatever and being known as someone who likes driving a different type of vehicle but suddenly started turning up in the first type. To spell it out if I turned up in a Mini or whatever tomorrow people would ask / judge.

@ryanm8655 I know things could and will (if I don’t / can’t) be a lot worse. That’s why I want to deal with it. I’d like to be at a point of having the cards paid and the accounts closed. Literally keep one for spends (paid off each month) and no more. 

I genuinely cannot see how I can clear the cards in a year. Wife has had a few bits sell to friends and I’ve told her this evening it needs to come off the balances of the cards, we can’t just keep it or I will spend it so made a £400 payment from a £500 bag she sold (told her to keep the £100 And I was going to pay off the card at the end of the month but just cleared). She had another bag sell for £650 so that’s taken the balance of the Barclays to £8200 as I put a bit extra to round it down to the nearest hundred so first actual overpayment made. Felt strangely satisfying to take the balance down and like a positive step In the right direction - doing what I said rather than delaying. Wife thinks I’m being a bit silly about clearing it asap and not waiting until the end of the month. I don’t. If I hang onto the money I will spend it. 

Good job on the overpayment...it starts to become addictive, like spending can be, after a while.

i have a spreadsheet of all of my debts and the expiry dates of the 0% offers etc. My first priority was getting all the interest bearing debts cleared/onto interest free (you’re already there) and then it was a race to beat the 0% dates. I treated it as a bit of a game. I closed the cards down as I cleared them just for piece of mind.

I’m like you in that if the money is there I’m liable to spend it (or at least a bit of it) unnecessarily. That’s why I worked out all
my outgoings and a budget for expenses and then whatever was spare I ploughed into the debts on payday. 

theoretica

My experience of new hobbies is very few immediately give me a high - I need to get a ways in to be properly involved, at least to intermediate stage, feel you know things and have a personal best to beat.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver she thought we could just clear a large amount at the end of the month rather than sending smaller amounts. I told her I’m having trouble not spending the money and yesterday I was planning to spend it rather than do what we need to do. She told me she thinks it’s pathetic - so many with a lot less etc. I know this but better to help myself whilst I feel like doing so than leaving it and potentially coming to a very different conclusion I think.

@mamamu / @ryanm8655 I didn’t get a high from it. Satisfied I’d helped myself rather than making the other choice - yes.

I too made a spreadsheet of the balances when I was in a bit of a better mindset and checking the yolt app everyday. It makes me feel sick looking at the 0% deal expiries in case they did become interest baring and no 0% deals were available. Need to face up to the expiry dates at some point. When I did the remo I knew 0% for £100k was off the cards lol.

alt80

@theoretica my wife is fitness obsessed - definitely about beating the PBs for her. I enjoyed that too during lockdown - was the fittest I’d ever been with wife as PT (another thing she’s done the course in but doesn’t want an actual job lol) by the time it fully ended I was definitely getting the endorphins. She wants me to start training with her regularly I just cba right now which I know isn’t improving the downer. 

alt80

Checked the yolt app and done the sums -
£140 entertainment left.
£370 groceries left.
£120 petrol left both cars full of petrol.

Insurance and tax for RR 20/21 paid for and car insurance/ tax/ servicing, buildings / contents cover, life assurance for the month now transferred to savings - first time for everything lol.

ryanm8655

Yeah - the exercise really helps. I’m not on a massive downer but my mood has slipped a bit and I suspect it’s down to struggling to squeeze in the gym with work and shipping the family around while no-one else can drive...

Actually finding myself fancying booze for the sake of it for the first time in a while and wanting to eat junk food...just need to get back on the exercise, though my Saturday is wiped out by a fairly long drive to pick up a puppy in the middle of the day so won’t be able to get a good gym session then. Sunday is family roast when I’ll need to be on hand to help prepare meals/wash up etc. Plus I’m having to catch up on missed work due to hospital appointments. I’m now realising why I’m craving the booze again I have no time for escape. Really need to get up earlier and go in the morning but that isn’t going to happen.

If you can make the time for the exercise it will help no end and if you can get into a routine, even better.