First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

I think if you go on as you are you are in danger of losing everything including your wife and son. You seem to have addiction to spending money that you simply dont have. Every penny you earn does not belong to you until you are out of debt. It belongs to your creditor . Yes they are letting you use it but borrowing can be called in at a moments notice. OK an unlikely scenario as financial institutions love people in debt but it could happen. You have already had one health scare another could be round the corner which could leave you unable to work. I know you say you lead a healthy life but not all health conditions are due to poor lifestyle believe me I know. Yes I know you will say it wont happen but the world is full of things that wont happen until they do.You should be in a great position to withstand most crises but you are not. If counselling isnt helping find someone else, or a hypnotherapist or someone that can help you change your mindset. You need to change. Do you really think that most people weigh up the value of your cars, house clothes etc. Most dont care they are busy with their own lives.

You have been given some great advice on here which you asked for but in general all we are hearing is excuses as to why you cannot do things. Your choice but what is the point of askng for help and then ignoring it, open your mind to other possibilities.

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt I  think you said somewhere your father had a gambling problem?
I also think an addictive personality can be inherited,  your addiction is cars and spending. So you need help with the counselling to be towards helping you with the addiction.
BTW Did you watch The Sheriffs Are Coming last night?
When that series first started the sheriffs drove around in white vans, last night they were driving a RR. Not the same spec. as yours but they are going up in the world.

alt80

I was looking for someone to tell me I’d missed something and could carry on. It’s why I went to see my accountant and why I posted the SOA - I can’t make the figures stack to have a life I want. Don’t think anyone else can either tbf. 

Yesterday I was angry with myself for telling wife to go to her mum’s when we were meant to be spending the afternoon together as a family. She’d planned a nice afternoon and I binned it off to sit at my desk configuring an AM I am painfully aware I cannot afford.

@getmore4less I can’t live on £5.5-6k/m. There I’ve said it and I know that’s not pennies or even a low income. I know the fact I can’t live on that is shameful.

@Grumpelstiltskin My dad was a gambler of the highest order. Parents live in Greece because he lost their business and home. 

purplehippo276

alt80 said:

@TheAble I need to pay the card debt. I do want to help myself. Yes I suppose I want a bit of help for someone to show me how I can get the card debt down and live a life worth living as I can’t make the figures stack. 

Happy to give all up but the RR said that before.

The help you need isn't here on this forum.  There is no one here that can show you how to get the debt down and live the life you want, because the cold hard truth is that you cannot afford the life you want on the income you have. 

People are showing you how to get the card debt down.  People are giving you suggestions on how to live a life worth living, but there's no magic wand that means you can keep living as you have been and get out of some pretty hefty debt. Things have to give as currently the only way you can live the life you want is on credit.  Until you accept that you have to make some serious compromises to pay off the debt and learn to live and be happy within your means, then you're just going to be digging a bigger and bigger hole for yourself.   

  

enthusiasticsaver

Grumpelstiltskin  is correct and addictive behaviour can be inherited.  From all accounts you had a chaotic childhood and no good example on how to manage money and you definitely have a self worth problem if you are constantly worried what others think of you because believe me most people could not care less about you and what car is sitting on the drive.  They are more concerned with their own lives and worries.  If you mix with people who judge you on belongings you need better friends.  You must know the consequences of addiction if your Dad lost his home and business due to gambling?  He actually had to move to another country to start again either because he owes so much money over here he moved away to stop them chasing him or maybe Greece is cheaper to live.  Do they not have casinos in Greece?  I don't suppose he knows about this as you are very keen to have people (even your own family) see the image you want to portray rather than the real you. A bit like him moving hundreds of miles away so he no longer sees anyone from his past even his children and grandchildren. 

I know alcoholics who lost their homes, their jobs and their families because they put alcohol above all of that.  Do you not see that your addiction to cars particularly could cause you to go the same way?  

You can't live off £5.5 -£6k because most of your income is going on repaying debt.  You would have plenty of money if you managed it better but you are financing a lifestyle you cannot afford.  If you had come to grips with this before buying the RR you could have expanded your business further and increased your income but I think you got greedy and at not yet 40 decided you wanted to reap the rewards of a successful business now rather than in 5 or 10 years time. If you do not want to end up broke like your Dad then take his actions as a lesson not to do what he did and turn this around.  It takes self discipline but you must have some.  

My suggestion is that you press pause on this situation.  Pay the sale proceeds off the cards.  Live with the status quo for 6 months and within the budget.  That would mean the card debt would be around £20k or less and you can then decide what to do about the other 2 cars.  The consequences of not doing that are that the credit card debt will rise and your credit record will be affected.  It may also affect remortgage deals and 0% balance transfers which are going to be tougher anyway over the next year.  That will mean your income decreasing further as lending gets more expensive for you.  Once you are at that point it is as you say game over. You are at a crossroads now so you can either face this head on or continue to do what you have done previously and ignore it and carry on as before.  

Andyjflet

alt80 said:

Andyjflet said:

BTW, you cant borrow your way out of debt. 

I realise this. The idea behind renewing the RR is to delay the balloon and not wind up refinancing a four year old car for another four/five years. Left it too late to save enough to pay the entire £48.5k balloon.

I think my point is, VT the RR and use whatever small pot of cash you have to buy a runaround, then saving yourself even more monthly payments to put towards the CC debt. I guess I'm disappointed you really havent had your LBM as yet, looking to buy another RR because you cant afford the balloon is just nuts. Hence my comment about borrowing your way out of debt, which is what you are attempting to do I'm afraid. Good luck

woahsoah

Why do you deserve to have something nice on your drive? You are leveraged and simply servicing debt. You have a reasonable monthly turnover, but there isn't much profit involved as its all servicing debt - turnover is vanity, profit is sanity.

You even considering another car or something is bats... crazy. I don't think I have ever seen anyone so desperate for 'stuff'. I met a friend of a friend corporate lawyer the other day who is making 3x what I do. We are talking 75k+ gbp per month. He was totally normal, chilled out, he wasn't looking at jeff bezos going 'I'll never be able to afford x'.

Surely there is more to life than 4 wheels - Can't you just go to track days or take up serious go karting for a buzz?

If you can't suffer the lifestyle of clearing the debt perhaps its worth cashing in one of the properties to clear it. At least you can live reasonably then?

JCS1

The counselling will take time, but you need to work at it too.
It also may not be the right time for you, I had to do 3 lots of CBT before it clicked, you need to be in the right frame of mind for it to work.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

@getmore4less I can’t live on £5.5-6k/m. There I’ve said it and I know that’s not pennies or even a low income. I know the fact I can’t live on that is shameful.

You might as well give up on the BTL business growth for the foreseeable future if you are going to have to take so much out of it on a continuous basis. 

Even if you pump back the £100k you took out you will need more money monthly to pay the increased mortgage unless you take the easy route and extend the term.

LottyWatty

Hi- I’ve read your diary and also your original post. I’ve not really got any additional advice to offer on top of what has already been said. I just hope you manage to find a way to deal with the issues that have caused your current financial difficulties. It’s obviously having a massive impact on your life and you seem to be very conflicted between wanting the peace and security  that comes with being debt free, and the emotional comfort and gratification that comes with spending. I certainly see where you’re coming from and have always used money as a way to deal with things - whether it be a lack of confidence, or just being bored or slightly down, or feeling ‘well I work hard so I deserve this, this AND this.’  I think a lot of people end up in debt to fill an emotional need or to give a certain appearance to others, or just by not really paying attention to where the money is going, and debt just becoming another accepted monthly expense that is OK (until it isn’t!!). 

I think there’s definitely a balance to be found between having fun and being happy now, but also looking out for your future self to make sure they can be happy too. From what you’ve said around your self esteem and current and previous anxieties, it sounds like it’s really important to keep persevering with the counselling/CBT/whatever works for you. You may feel like it’s not working now - it may be appropriate to change services or try a bit longer with the current - but without some support it may be hard for you to get out of the situation you’re currently in. It’s completely about mindset and unfortunately we can’t always just switch that on or off ourselves without help. 

I just wanted to wish you well and hope you find that balance