First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Be home Thursday. Meant to be going out for a meal Saturday but thinking about cancelling - weather doesn’t look great and it’s outside rebook for when we can sit in I think. My wife has moved things around at home for me, bit of a fresh environment will do me good she thinks. Could be right tbh I’m very grateful to have her plenty in my position haven’t been so lucky know that much. Can’t blame the ones that have got to the point of saying enough is enough really. I need to make the effort to be a part of things as a family from now on know that much. I do get why she !!!!!! hates me sometimes wanted to find some properly fit bloke with proper money and wound up with a jumped up estate agent in a load of debt with a coke habit fml. Meant to be putting the what could have beens behind us, I know, moving on as a family is what she wants why she’s selling a lot of stuff I think tbh still difficult though. Just need to keep to my plans for the family days try to enjoy a different side to life I suppose.

Will have to face the finances personal and business end of this week/ beginning of next. Got a meeting with my accountant work out the best way forward. Things aren’t dire it’s cash flow rather than anything more fundamentally problematic. First time in my life I’ve got a decent plan on the personal side and I’m being realistic about the next couple of years being ones of consolidation/ getting into a position to be able to fully move on. 

@Nicnak I don’t find it comes naturally ha there’s nothing I want more than to make a success of my life, own the world if I could probably be on 75ltv knowing me ha. Yeah I need to keep on the healthy path really, stretched myself enough so it’s time to consolidate and work on the family life.

@getmore4less Been before few years back though now it’s a good run in the car from here. She went and I think it’s probably the only time in history she’s been shopping and got change from £500, didn’t have a great time by her account. Spent more in petrol than the cumulative discount too lol so yeah I’d agree not a proper outlet really.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Be home Thursday. Meant to be going out for a meal Saturday but thinking about cancelling - weather doesn’t look great and it’s outside rebook for when we can sit in I think. My wife has moved things around at home for me, bit of a fresh environment will do me good she thinks. Could be right tbh I’m very grateful to have her plenty in my position haven’t been so lucky know that much. Can’t blame the ones that have got to the point of saying enough is enough really. I need to make the effort to be a part of things as a family from now on know that much. I do get why she !!!!!! hates me sometimes wanted to find some properly fit bloke with proper money and wound up with a jumped up estate agent in a load of debt with a coke habit fml. Meant to be putting the what could have beens behind us, I know, moving on as a family is what she wants why she’s selling a lot of stuff I think tbh still difficult though. Just need to keep to my plans for the family days try to enjoy a different side to life I suppose.

Will have to face the finances personal and business end of this week/ beginning of next. Got a meeting with my accountant work out the best way forward. Things aren’t dire it’s cash flow rather than anything more fundamentally problematic. First time in my life I’ve got a decent plan on the personal side and I’m being realistic about the next couple of years being ones of consolidation/ getting into a position to be able to fully move on. 

@Nicnak I don’t find it comes naturally ha there’s nothing I want more than to make a success of my life, own the world if I could probably be on 75ltv knowing me ha. Yeah I need to keep on the healthy path really, stretched myself enough so it’s time to consolidate and work on the family life.

@getmore4less Been before few years back though now it’s a good run in the car from here. She went and I think it’s probably the only time in history she’s been shopping and got change from £500, didn’t have a great time by her account. Spent more in petrol than the cumulative discount too lol so yeah I’d agree not a proper outlet really.

Nice to hear from you Alt. Nice to see you in a good frame of mind.

Don't blame you cancelling the outside meal. We have had a couple in the last few days and it has been cold sat outside. 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Be home Thursday. Meant to be going out for a meal Saturday but thinking about cancelling - weather doesn’t look great and it’s outside rebook for when we can sit in I think. My wife has moved things around at home for me, bit of a fresh environment will do me good she thinks. Could be right tbh I’m very grateful to have her plenty in my position haven’t been so lucky know that much. Can’t blame the ones that have got to the point of saying enough is enough really. I need to make the effort to be a part of things as a family from now on know that much. I do get why she !!!!!! hates me sometimes wanted to find some properly fit bloke with proper money and wound up with a jumped up estate agent in a load of debt with a coke habit fml. Meant to be putting the what could have beens behind us, I know, moving on as a family is what she wants why she’s selling a lot of stuff I think tbh still difficult though. Just need to keep to my plans for the family days try to enjoy a different side to life I suppose.

Will have to face the finances personal and business end of this week/ beginning of next. Got a meeting with my accountant work out the best way forward. Things aren’t dire it’s cash flow rather than anything more fundamentally problematic. First time in my life I’ve got a decent plan on the personal side and I’m being realistic about the next couple of years being ones of consolidation/ getting into a position to be able to fully move on. 

@Nicnak I don’t find it comes naturally ha there’s nothing I want more than to make a success of my life, own the world if I could probably be on 75ltv knowing me ha. Yeah I need to keep on the healthy path really, stretched myself enough so it’s time to consolidate and work on the family life.

@getmore4less Been before few years back though now it’s a good run in the car from here. She went and I think it’s probably the only time in history she’s been shopping and got change from £500, didn’t have a great time by her account. Spent more in petrol than the cumulative discount too lol so yeah I’d agree not a proper outlet really.

Good to hear you're doing well.

Won't go into some in depth analysis of everything you say about yourself that is incorrect ha, I'll keep it simple and say things could be much worse for your wife too!

Hopefully the time away has helped. I have no idea what it's like but I'd imagine I'd just want to relax at home for a while, so don't blame you for cancelling the meal. Perhaps you can cook for the wife or something.

Also finding it too cold to go out. Froze to death on Sunday...

On the subject of the coke, if you need any more motivation to leave it behind a mate of my uncle's sadly decided life wasn't worth living. Broke up with wife in lockdown, 2 lovely kids, had never touched coke but some how got into it in a big way and ended up going down a dark path. Such a nice guy by all accounts and had 200 people turn up to walk behind the funeral car. So sad he couldn't see how loved he really was.

CRANKY40

Your wife wants you, warts and all. You can't help who you love. To be fair you sound like a fairly decent prospect once the drugs are gone. My late husband was an officer in the Royal Fleet Auxiliary and he bought me a Skoda 😊 Actually I loved that car because it was mine. Forget who is better than who and concentrate on what you do have. There is always someone better off than you and there is always someone worse off (not always financially).

I wouldn't eat out in this weather either......Good luck for Thursday. 

warby68

Good luck for Thursday. Glad you're well enough to come home as planned. Hopefully you'll see your home and the rest of your life through different eyes and keep on progressing.

I don't think going out Saturday sounds like the best plan either straight after you get home. Just bed in a bit first maybe. And yes its flipping freezing.

Willowtree222

Things are not easy Alt, you’ve had tough times and look what you have achieved. It’s always easy for us to say as outsiders and harder for you to believe and see. 

Good luck forThursday. The hardest part is acknowledging you’ve got difficulties, you made that step already. 

I hope they’ve given you some good techniques to help you. 

Take care

alt80

I’m going back knowing I’ve got some short term cash flow problems within the business and as a consequence of that personally too. All came about through coke fuelled over confidence, decisions I’d made when using and now paying for it. Consequences of addiction 100%. Worst thing is I’ve seen others lose everything when I started to panic that was my future I didn’t do something about it to turn things around before my personal life affected my business, I just let my personal issues affect my business ultimately refinanced everything apart from my res home, only didn’t touch that because I wanted to keep it hidden from my wife. I was using so much I’d convinced myself when I was on it that she was entirely clueless. She knew I was in massive debt and had a drug problem before I told her, told me during the sessions she just didn’t know how to support me and tried to deny it to herself. I shouldn’t have started using cards again or bought my Range Rover, should have just kept the Sport going - there was nothing wrong with it just tripped me off that it was getting on a bit and the old shape. Allowed my mate to wind me up to the point I got myself another £100k debt. !!!!!! ridiculous looking back now know I can’t stay in touch with him.  

I do need to look through everything again. Trying to sort my portfolio out has had a big knock on effect, stretched everything to get to the ltv. Don’t think I’ve done the wrong thing, probably may have been better selling another unit from the block, retaining 2 rather than 3. Tenancies etc agreed now just keep swimming I think ha. All I know is I can’t carry like I was or I’ll wind up losing everything I do have. It’s hard seeing my personal life has very much had a knock on effect in business; I’ve not been able to accept that before. 

Should have stopped using coke when my wife was pregnant like I promised her I would. It !!!!!! breaks me that I spent the best part of 7 years trying to deny to myself I’ve got a kid, couldn’t face the responsibility and when I could in my head I was just going to damage him by being around. Nothing I want more now than to have the confidence to pick him up from school on Thursday don’t mean just sitting in the car hoping no one sees me. Know it’s how things move forward that matter, keep dwelling on the past and I’ll make myself really ill probably drag my family down with me. Long road ahead though need to keep working with the pros. I’ve been trying to stop using coke for well over a year seriously and on and off for a fair few more. Have had a few extended breaks in that time but was just constantly trying to fight the cravings rather than making real steps to move forwards. Just need to keep my head above the water these next few months now. Must be the luckiest man alive to be coming out of this with my family and business intact. 

@RelievedSheff thanks mate I’m ok. 

Ha knew you wouldn’t be able to resist - you been out in the van? Should catch up, your diary always makes me smile. You just do you in life, got 100% respect and admiration for that.

@ryanm8655 thanks mate. Hope you’re keeping well too? I’ve got enough pros dealing with my issues haha but not going to fix me overnight know that much - work in progress lol.

I am looking forward to being home bit apprehensive about it too tbh. 

Yeah it’s freezing, nothing like this last year.

Sorry to hear about your uncle’s mate that’s utterly tragic !!!!!! awful. I know a few couples who’ve broken up during lockdown. Going to have a lot to answer for in years to come I reckon tbh mate.

@CRANKY40 haha very true lol fml she says not but I’m sure she regrets ever agreeing to a drink with me. 

Thanks. Think you’re right re comparison etc.

FML re the Skoda I’d hate to think what he’d buy someone he didn’t like lol.

@warby68 thanks it’s not home and done tbh. Hope I make it too, keep up the yoga ha.

I can hardly believe the weather recently, it’s !!!!!! awful. Mind my wedding anniversary is at the end of the month should have been nice weather but it was !!!!!! freezing and !!!!!! it down all day wife’s best mate kept telling her that’s considered ‘good luck’ haha. Away again for anniversary fml sure you’re all laughing at that after all my angry posts about holidays lol.

@Nicnak thanks and I know re easier for an outsider to see the positive do that myself.

Got a whole !!!!!! bank of techniques lol up to me going forward, know that much.

Willowtree222

Not considering a Dacia then? Not bad in summer, but when I wiping the ice of the inside in winter that was an eye opener. 
Perhaps you could do yoga with your wife? Time for you both to do something together that has been helping. 
We all are easy giving advice to others, but when it is our life it is something different. 

alt80

@Nicnak hahaha !!!!!! that. I might be on the wagon but it’s still got a Range Rover badge on the bonnet and a V8 under it.

Ha the wife’s already got my workout plan sorted for the coming month including the yoga.

100% agree re advice. 

Sun_Addict

Glad you’re going home, your wife, son and dog will be pleased to see you. Hopefully this is a new beginning for you and you won’t ever need to go into rehab again.