First Steps to Solvency

Sun_Addict

Life gets a whole lot easier once you stop competing and comparing yourself with other people.

RelievedSheff

Nice to hear from you Alt. 🙂

Glad you are doing well. 

enthusiasticsaver

You are talking a lot of sense now and I think you will be a lot happier if you stop the destructive stuff and trying to measure yourself against others only seeing the worth of things in monetary value. I also think you sound like a really nice bloke when you talk like this without the substances. Keep working hard at getting healthy then everything else will fall into place. Much better example for your son too. I also think you need to let go of some of the mistakes you have made and forgive yourself. 

warby68

I'm sure its hard letting coke alt80 go but real @alt80 is well worth the effort.

So nice to read you in this frame of mind and that things in general are becoming a lot clearer for you.

Also great that Mrs Alt is rising to the challenge.

JCS1

There are a lot of people cheering you on with your recovery, myself included.  Thinking of you, and your family

alt80

Thanks all. This time next week I’ll be home properly I’ve had the chance to sort some things out businesswise this morning - know I need to get back into the real world but really hoping I can keep off the substances/ spending and work on the family stuff - looking forward to having some of the days out people suggested on here. I’m very lucky to be able to do the programme, doesn’t seem it at times can tell you that much ha but I’m pleased I’m fortunate enough to have the means to give my family the best chance of me recovering. Time I move on from what’s gone before. 

My portfolio remo is almost through at 75ltv so will be off the !!!!!! rate for that soon, got 3 additional units from the nightmare block too and the rest sold so def a step forward there and a move towards a more sustainable future. Sold the other dev project before any marketing so that’s all go now too. Properly depleted my business funds to do the refinance tbh it’s a bit grim looking for the short term and I’ve got a meeting with my accountant when I’m home. I know I can’t let it trip me off, I just need to stick to the plan, business is doing well so long as I keep a level head about it and acknowledge I am where I am cash flow wise because of my personal problems that I put on my business ultimately. Been going on since I did the stupid remo but first time I’ve acknowledged the implications and I’ve learned a valuable lesson from it, can at least start to move on now. Put my recovery in jeopardy I’m putting my family, business and home on the line ultimately can’t carry on as I was forever I know that much. 

These past few years until very recently I’ve been in a really bad place tbh I didn’t really think there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me, seeing things starting to unwind now I know just need to keep on track and work on getting better for my family and my staff. I don’t think life is all about how many toys you can buy anymore, none of the stuff ever made me ok with myself just lead to needing more for a lesser hit - addict mentality 100%. Don’t get me wrong I’m always going to like nice things in life, just need to be level headed about it from now on and keep off the sniffing powder.

@foxgloves yeah I relate to your former mate tbh. @foxgloves/ @Kakiste I’ve known a few guys with lives that have turned out similar and massive house of cards falls. One thing knocks into another usually or that’s what I’ve seen. I’ve never fully believed I had anything of a future but realise I’m not getting any younger these days and tbh I either put the hard work in now knowing the odds are more likely to be stacked in my favour or I put everything I’ve got that’s still positive in my life on a cokehead.

@Sun_Addict you’re right tbh compare myself to others too much, see everyone else as competitors. I’ve even done that on here - know there are some people paying proportionally bigger debts when set against income and clearing it quicker. I get in the mindset that they’re smashing it, I’m not doing as well and don’t want to be beaten so start trying to !!!!!! about with my well thought out plans. 

@warby68 thanks and yeah my Mrs is definitely propping me up. Will reserve judgement on whether she’s rising to the budget challenge or not though ha she’s having a drive down to Bicester village tomorrow.

Willowtree222

alt80 said:

Might sound a lot better and in someways I am but its not easy at all tbh I think the mindset I’m in is always going to be there just need to keep it in check not let things get so destructive. 

Been thinking about my personal finances a fair bit today - if someone told me when I started I’d earn practically £100k/a net 100% I’d have thought I’d arrived not be still swimming in debt to Land Rover lol. Some things don’t change I suppose ha. Wouldn’t have believed I’d have been worse for the coke than ever at 40 either fml. Long conversation with my wife she has demons too trying to look like women 10 years younger on IG, it’s !!!!!! ridiculous really. Lot of things people have said on here has made me reassess as well as the pros - I don’t want my son growing up thinking his only worth is the amount of money he can pull in it’s !!!!!! torture and always someone bigger in the business, climbing the levels never stops. Get to the next one and feel !!!!!! you’re not two further on. I’ll tell you now whatever amount is never enough - there’s always someone better in the game if you’re just an average bloke and at the age I’m at now there’s a lot that are younger too. Head says I should be better, be able to compete with the big boys not be some big fish in a goldfish bowl or whatever. Had chance to do a lot of thinking and I like my business the way it is tbh; working on the slow, sustainable growth. I’m not after becoming some massive corporate and start losing touch with the job/ staff on the ‘coal face’/ whatever. Taken a lot for me to admit that because the other side of my head says I’m a failure for that not being the direction I want to go, need to aim bigger, make a success of my life etc. Told my wife I’m probably not going to get that much bigger in business and don’t really want to - I was ready for her telling me that was it and she was off to find some bloke who could give her everything but she didn’t.

Right now I’d would rather work on being the best I can be for the staff I have and provide the best service to my clients stick with where I am, build on it slowly but work on the mindset rather than winding up at 50 a bit bigger in business with lot more debt and still turning to spending on stupid stuff and cocaine to alleviate feeling like !!!!!! because there’s some other bloke bigger in the business fml I’m done with that at the point I’d rather take my dog for a walk than keep living like that.

Halle f**** lullah. 

Took a while, but you got there in the end. You are worthwhile now and you are now realising success is not measured on what you have but the legacy you leave. A bunch of property isn't a legacy, the memories with your wife, son and the family will be far more impressionable than what you have. 

If you always compare yourself then you will always see someone better, bigger, more money. There's always someone back the other way too. 

Take care Alt. 

ladyholly

What Nicnak said. I think that says exactly what I would havesaid if I had got there first..

getmore4less

Still keeping an eye on the progress but not had anything to add (that is not getting said) till now.


Bicester Village is no longer a proper outlet location.

We used to go a few times a year to pick stuff up as it is quite easy for us and you could grab a deal better than on-line offerings. 

Over the years  all the good discount stores went and they got replaced by designer stores that just want to extract as much money as possible from you.


Very few decent discounts or bargains as the pricing is targeted at foreign visitors from China and middle east that tend to have higher prices back home for most of the mid range up stuff..


The train  announcements are in Arabic and Mandarin there are so many coming from London and Oxford.

Our last trip in 2019 we stopped for a break (a weekend away) very early,  it was very quiet
By the time we left at midday getting very busy and very few native English speakers.


They may have better deals now as they won't have the visitor numbers and stuff needs to be priced a lot better for the home market..

Legs21

Totally agree with @Nicnak.