First Steps to Solvency

Grumpelstiltskin

Can I ask you something?

All the cars you dismiss out of hand, have you actually driven any of them or are you taken in by your warped sense of what you should have for your position?
You are at best a big fish in a very small pond, until you realize this and realize no one  of any importance is at all interested in what model of what car is sitting on your drive you will continue to spiral down into what?
Oh and by the way the one person I feel sorry for in all of this mess is your son, he does know something is wrong and being brought up not allowed to do things in case he gets your RR dirty and not mixing with children from all backgrounds you are building up trouble for him in the future..

strawb_shortcake

WRT to the other school parents, I'd try not to worry about that too much, you aren't ever going to know what the parents have said in front of their children and you can't change it. I'd like to think at that age group that most parents wouldn't be discussing drug use around their children, but in time they will do IF you continue that path - but you do have control of how they see you in future. 

Unfortunately, children do pick up on what's going on in their own home, they may not know or understand the details but they'll know something isn't quite right. 

You know your demons, you know your triggers you just need to learn how to manage them.
You do have a bright future and one with an AM on the drive too, it just needs a bit of patience and discipline to get there, we've seen you do it for nearly 10 weeks, you can do this!

woahsoah

alt80 said:

Buyers remorse is the story of my life mate outside of property. 

Selling assets for AM would be the definition of idiocy mate not doing that. 

Unfortunately if you don't want to sell anything then you can't afford it outright. So why waste time thinking and moaning about it? You can still finance the AM on credit and push back the debt paybacks can't you? I'm not saying its a good idea but just make a decision and stick to it.

I bought a holiday home recently at 60% LTV so now have debt at 2% fixed for 20 years.. european mortgages. gotta love em. Anything above 3+% I get a bit twitchy.

ladyholly

I wasnt suggesting that drug use is discussed by parents in front of their children. My point was that alt cannot rely on what he thinks his son sees and hears at home or at school .

theoretica

alt80 said:

Buyers remorse is the story of my life mate outside of property. 

Selling assets for AM would be the definition of idiocy mate not doing that. 

If you had £60k or whatever you could choose what to do with it - car or property.  That situation is only different from having £60k already in property by a past decision (putting money into property) and you call it idiotic to sell property to buy a car.  There is an emotional attachment to existing possessions and keeping the status quo, but purely on the numbers there is next to no difference between saying it would be idiotic to sell property to by the car and saying it would be idiotic to use the hypothetical money to buy the car rather than property.  Taking out a loan and spending future money on the car is tying your future self in to the decision on how your money will be used. 

One of the reasons I avoid debt is because I emotionally hate giving people power over me - I do not want to be tied in to some financial burden past me agreed to. I don't want a monthly payment reminding me of the purchase decisions I made - when I get buyers remorse I want it in one dose, not a monthly dribble for years. I also find it much clearer to compare costs as a lump total sum than so much a month - which I think is one reason sellers emphasise the monthly sum, it seems so much smaller!

foxgloves

Yes, me! We worked hard at paying off our combined debts once we well & truly realised our financial habits were not sustainable & not compatible with what we want for our future together. Then when I did come into a bit of money, I didn't go mad (briefly considered a car) but paid off our remaining mortgage instead. These days, if we can't save for it, we don't buy it. End of. And we are much happier.
F (we are not 90 yet, either. Still a good way to go until retirement age) 

alt80

Know my actions aren’t parenting at it’s finest tbh. Def need to sort that I’ve enjoyed being more part of a family unit. 

Interesting re personal debt idk always had it used to it I suppose lol. 

@efes_shareholder I try the cars I like. What I think people on here don’t get is I don’t like how cars with small engines drive and I like an interior / nice looking exterior styling too. Don’t want 2 trucks. Not really a badge thing. Don’t get me wrong I have my preferences but the level of interior and 3ltr+, pref 4.5+ only come in a selection of cars and yep tend to have the badge iyswim. @Grumpelstilskin yeah I know plenty of guys bigger in business than me always will be. Not trying to pretend I’m the next Elon Musk mate. Re my cars I like what I like plenty of people don’t like my choices I know that. I do and it’s not the end of my world if some guy down the road would rather buy a Nissan or whatever his money ultimately mate and mines my money.

Not sure what the issue is with my son not messing my car up that’s not going fry his brain. My dad was proper strict about his car and did me no harm.

We did the sunflowers mate he really liked that thanks for the suggestion on that one. Much appreciated thanks mate.

@theoretica Got me questioning if the stuff has fried my brain altogether but I don’t think so - buy property using retained not getting money out transfer to spv leverage income producing units v getting money out and buying a depreciating car ? Even my crazy doesn’t stretch that far or I’m missing something entirely. Sell property need to get it out too. It’s madness I don’t understand why anyone would advise someone to do this? 

@woahsoah ha must be on the continent? My res home got 1.4% on that 5 yr fix. Portfolio higher than 3% will be even with refinance because it’s in ltd but these days wouldn’t pay stupid rates on res.

What are the rates like out your way? Might as well ask but you reckoning on very long term low rates in UK? I can’t see them going up massively myself. 

Can buy AM on credit yeah makes everything really stretched again though so idk mate. Need your career dude too old now tho lol.

Grumpelstiltskin

You say it never did you any harm that your father wouldn't let you mess his car up.
It did, that's why you won't let your son mess your car up.
You are turning into your father.

RelievedSheff

You say that your dad being strict in certain ways did you no harm, but look where you are now. Your poor son can't get dirty and I don't even want to know what you do if the dog dares walk in a muddy puddle while you are out.

That isn't normal.

The things you do now are creating memories for your son and are moulding the way that he will grow up. Much like your memories of your parents.

Do you want him to grow up like you?

theoretica

alt80 said:

@theoretica Got me questioning if the stuff has fried my brain altogether but I don’t think so - buy property using retained not getting money out transfer to spv leverage income producing units v getting money out and buying a depreciating car ? Even my crazy doesn’t stretch that far or I’m missing something entirely. Sell property need to get it out too. It’s madness I don’t understand why anyone would advise someone to do this? 

Not advising you to do it - trying to help you see it is equally sensible (or not) wherever the money comes from and whatever the money's history.  The money doesn't care that it was once in something else.  To me, sacrificing future opportunity by spending money you don't yet have is worse than sacrificing something now that you can clearly see.