First Steps to Solvency

downshifted

I’m guessing you saw your sniffing mate, as he’s offered a loan, and you had a binge. If so you’ve learned again he sends you on a downward spiral. 

CRANKY40

You've had a toddler tantrum because it wasn't fair that you couldn't have a car that you wanted. Life doesn't always go how you'd like. I was married to a civilian officer in the Royal Fleet Auxiliary. He was on a good wage, we had a big house and a nice lifestyle. He died aged 50 twelve miles off the coast of the Falkland Islands (not at war) eleven years ago. I sold the big house because it was too hard to look after on my own with a 4 year old son. Being a widow at 42 and being left to bring up a child wasn't in my life plan believe me!

My life is different to how it was but I don't view myself as a failure because I have a smaller house and an older car.

I think you need to review your priorities. You are justifying the drugs by saying that you don't do as much as others then beating yourself for failing whilst also saying that you don't need help. Don't blame your wife either. When you are clean she co-operates. She want's a happy family, not somebody who has a tantrum because he can't have a pretty car. Could you hire a car here and there for some fun days out? Someone somewhere must hire sports cars?  

stymied

@alt80 Please flush whatever you have left of the powder. When I’m really tired and thinking stupid thoughts I think to myself “it’s just because you’re tired”. Right now you need to focus on surviving the come down - what you’re feeling isn’t the real @alt80 that we all know and like. Tomorrow or the day after tell us the current position and we’ll try and help. Your virtual friends are cheering you on!

ladyholly

I agree with warby you need more help than you are getting. If you have seen your JV mate and from your recent posts it seems you have you have to dump him. He is not good for you and at the moment you are not strong enough to resist him tempting you. I have to disagree with you asessment that you dont need residential help if on the first day of being able to see others you fall for the rubbish. Dont blame you wife for that. No she shouldnt have spent without checking but you sound like a couple of kids - she did, hedid. Is this any way to raise your son and dont believe he doesnt know things arent right. I have toldyou before children pick upon stuff without seeing it or being told and he is very young to be dealing with the C*** you are both handing him. Do you want a happy home life or just to hide away drinkng and snorting. No one can do it for you. You have the choice and I would say this is a critical point in your recovery. Get clean or risk losing everything both personally and professionally. Everyone on here is willing you on and although we dont know you are you really going to throw all the help you have received back in there faces. Your choice!!!!

alt80

My son doesn’t know about it and I don’t want him to ever know. I need to give it up and not blaming anyone else for that. Sort myself out I know I need to do that- can’t lose my mind completely I’m not in the position to be able to do that.

I don’t want to hire a car I enjoy the ownership experience. I don’t like renting cars or anything else that’s not for me.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

I’m not very well in the head mate need something to cheer me up. Can’t find AM money from nowhere she won’t let me use all the budget for the other stuff can’t take my son out of school for AM that’s not right. AM would help me can’t get from retained either with refinance selling units would be insane to buy a car so idk 

Ok so you strangle your finances to get the AM. Then what?

You know it won't be good enough and you will be looking for something better.

You need rehab.

warby68

Your son will know - don't kid yourself.
Not specifics perhaps but something seriously wrong

getmore4less

alt80 said:

My son doesn’t know about it and I don’t want him to ever know. I need to give it up and not blaming anyone else for that. Sort myself out I know I need to do that- can’t lose my mind completely I’m not in the position to be able to do that.

I don’t want to hire a car I enjoy the ownership experience. I don’t like renting cars or anything else that’s not for me.

But most of the time you have just been renting the money, amounts to the same thing.

Bet most of the school know your habits,  those parents won't have kept quiet

woahsoah

alt80 said:

Up looking at my numbers again been on it about 30 mins total  kills me im so small time will be even smaller time if I keep on going down this road again. Some things good slowly unwinding others bad no nice things for me to look forward to. Like a child need some incentive lol.

You can have nice things when you clear the debt? If you think this is too long and can't hack it you need to sell some assets - or buy a nice thing and push back the date for clearing the debt?

You can't have everything now unless you find some cash which probably comes from selling the business or houses in the portfolio/home or taking out a loan which kicks the can down the road.

If you must own a AM I think those are the only 3 options. I'm sure you could find the finances but you really wouldn't have any buyer's remorse?

alt80

Buyers remorse is the story of my life mate outside of property. 

Selling assets for AM would be the definition of idiocy mate not doing that.