First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Compelled to do wrong thing I don’t even know why. Right thing doesn’t even feel bad it’s a lot of effort fall into familiar I suppose do I even know what family means idk I want to. Not usually afraid of hard work either so should be able to sort this. Can’t say no to sniffing powder that makes me ill for days not even overly pleasurable doing it really it’s ridiculous. Scares me actually worried about my health and still can’t keep off it. Can’t sleep need to very tired but on edge and know what’s to come. Don’t even want to go to sleep alone pathetic 100%.

Have to start over tomorrow day 1. 

woahsoah

Day1 tomorrow! Perhaps read back on those posts. It doesn't look like you're getting much enjoyment from it.

alt80

@woahsoah no not much mate def need to stay away. Throwing my life away trying to run a business like this idk no good for anyone.

Need to drag myself up ha. Deal with not deserving a car hate summer already. Just get through without idk how though but buying AM breaks my bank kills me knowing  I’ve made no success of my life mate can tell you that.

alt80

Up looking at my numbers again been on it about 30 mins total  kills me im so small time will be even smaller time if I keep on going down this road again. Some things good slowly unwinding others bad no nice things for me to look forward to. Like a child need some incentive lol. Son on Easter hol now going to in-laws today and tomorrow. Wife not very pleased with me don’t blame her.

Just makes me want to do it more misery loves company so they say. 

getmore4less

Weather going to be rubbish from tomorrow over the BH weekend that should cheer you up a bit

You can have an AM just not yet.

Stick with the plan and focus on the business and family.
Any interim compromise on some 1/2 hearted attempt to get some dual use case covered  just drains funds.

RR + sensible 2nd car + save for AM  IF that is what you really want !

alt80

Mate looking forward to bad weather not great really ha

Only thing keeps me going is knowing I’ve got people who depend on me  needing me to pull it together. Long term I’m on my own know that don’t want to lose my family but I’ve seen how that goes I go down his road though and my life really won’t be worth living. She’ll probably take my house just because she can knows how much this place means to me and she’ll try to make me start over just to break me altogether. 

RelievedSheff

If you continue on this path of self destruction then that is exactly what will happen. You will lose your wife and son and you will lose half of everything else that you own.

If you don't want that to happen then you need to smarten yourself up and you need to do it quick.

Going over figures you have already gone over a thousand times won't change them. 

alt80

I’m not very well in the head mate need something to cheer me up. Can’t find AM money from nowhere she won’t let me use all the budget for the other stuff can’t take my son out of school for AM that’s not right. AM would help me can’t get from retained either with refinance selling units would be insane to buy a car so idk 

warby68

What is the next level of professional help?

Please seriously consider that - last 2 days show just how little your fundamentals have changed and that the good progress is still 'forced' if you will. I have no idea how long is long enough before something else is tried but it does feel that you need something more as you simply cannot/will not help yourself in the ways you know to be best.

What you need to do to keep your family and progress financially is not rocket science. All planned, all explained, all tried and, in fact, all agreed by you but you're still looking for an out. Whatever in your mental make up is stopping you doing these things needs concentrated work before you really do lose the lot. I don't think dial-a-counsellor is enough.

alt80

She doesn’t help me when I need her. Yesterday spent money she tells me it’s payback for putting up with me put me further into debt. Make me pay no excuse for me but hard to do right thing when I constantly have the threat.

All I can think about me not spending and her ruining me anyway. Ruin myself first.

Dont need to go to some facility like some total drug addict I do it yes but not to the extent others do.