First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Another day absolutely whacked this time again. Last night went to bed early but didn't get to sleep rather than listening to the book decided to watch tv. Was up until 2am. Today not been too great mentally got through it though. Def going to try going to bed early but put the book on, the voice reading it is quite soothing haha. 

The 4hr / 4hr thing possibly would work ok for me @JGB1955 / @getmore4less if I actually went to bed early, usually push through any early night tiredness according to my phone I sleep on average around 5 hrs a night. Def feel a lot better when I get a week or so of 7ish hrs. Unfortunately think I'm just going to have to come to terms with me being one of those people who needs a lot of sleep unless I go back on the stuff and really that's not an option.

Busy today now feeling annoyed I'm too whacked to do the personal figures for the month as we've had our last spend and budget reset tomorrow. Also find it wakes me up after 10 mins or so. Letting the side down ha. 

@RelievedSheff I don't know how you find peace with going to bed so early mate lol. I 100% fight it often am tired at that kind of time but feels like no time in the day to be sleeping, do push through it and get a few more hours.

@FootyFanDan thanks mate, generally I'm in a lot better place. Always am after a proper break from it if I'm honest with myself better for keeping away really.

Lockdown - I'm dreading it being over mate. Easter wife wants us to go to my in-laws, she'll go on 29th already planned. I get her wanting to take son for Easter just don't want to go there myself ha. Drove far too close to their house today anxiety through the roof hoping they weren't out for a walk, see me and expect me to pull over for a chat lol. Actually fancied stopping at the Costa for a coffee but decided to just drive through hoping and !!!!!! praying they weren't out or the two siblings that still live there were out FML. Not gonna lie for the rest of the journey home seriously thought about changing my reg plate lol.

I totally get not liking the person you've become mate, I !!!!!! hate me. You're doing really well. It's obvious you think the world of your Mrs and little one, doing your best by them mate 100 from what I can tell. As I've said before I really admire your family first attitude 100%.

@ryanm8655 true mate tbf though not gonna lie did laugh a bit when I saw it was you who posted that though - you make me look like I go bed early mate. 

FootyFanDan

alt80 said:

Another day absolutely whacked this time again. Last night went to bed early but didn't get to sleep rather than listening to the book decided to watch tv. Was up until 2am. Today not been too great mentally got through it though. Def going to try going to bed early but put the book on, the voice reading it is quite soothing haha. 

The 4hr / 4hr thing possibly would work ok for me @JGB1955 / @getmore4less if I actually went to bed early, usually push through any early night tiredness according to my phone I sleep on average around 5 hrs a night. Def feel a lot better when I get a week or so of 7ish hrs. Unfortunately think I'm just going to have to come to terms with me being one of those people who needs a lot of sleep unless I go back on the stuff and really that's not an option.

Busy today now feeling annoyed I'm too whacked to do the personal figures for the month as we've had our last spend and budget reset tomorrow. Also find it wakes me up after 10 mins or so. Letting the side down ha. 

@RelievedSheff I don't know how you find peace with going to bed so early mate lol. I 100% fight it often am tired at that kind of time but feels like no time in the day to be sleeping, do push through it and get a few more hours.

@FootyFanDan thanks mate, generally I'm in a lot better place. Always am after a proper break from it if I'm honest with myself better for keeping away really.

Lockdown - I'm dreading it being over mate. Easter wife wants us to go to my in-laws, she'll go on 29th already planned. I get her wanting to take son for Easter just don't want to go there myself ha. Drove far too close to their house today anxiety through the roof hoping they weren't out for a walk, see me and expect me to pull over for a chat lol. Actually fancied stopping at the Costa for a coffee but decided to just drive through hoping and !!!!!! praying they weren't out or the two siblings that still live there were out FML. Not gonna lie for the rest of the journey home seriously thought about changing my reg plate lol.

I totally get not liking the person you've become mate, I !!!!!! hate me. You're doing really well. It's obvious you think the world of your Mrs and little one, doing your best by them mate 100 from what I can tell. As I've said before I really admire your family first attitude 100%.

@ryanm8655 true mate tbf though not gonna lie did laugh a bit when I saw it was you who posted that though - you make me look like I go bed early mate. 

Cheers mate, that’s nice of you to say. I guess the lesson is that it’s okay as a person to admit to mistakes we have made in the past and acknowledge them and learn from them, we don’t have to punish ourselves forever for those. I generally feel in a really good place, and yeah I haven’t always acknowledged it before but the girls are everything it makes the endless hours of work rubbish worth it. 

For or what it’s worth I totally admire how you have faced ur demons head on and are really making progress, it would be so easy to slip back into old habits but I think you are doing everything right to put right the past so good on you 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Another day absolutely whacked this time again. Last night went to bed early but didn't get to sleep rather than listening to the book decided to watch tv. Was up until 2am. Today not been too great mentally got through it though. Def going to try going to bed early but put the book on, the voice reading it is quite soothing haha. 

The 4hr / 4hr thing possibly would work ok for me @JGB1955 / @getmore4less if I actually went to bed early, usually push through any early night tiredness according to my phone I sleep on average around 5 hrs a night. Def feel a lot better when I get a week or so of 7ish hrs. Unfortunately think I'm just going to have to come to terms with me being one of those people who needs a lot of sleep unless I go back on the stuff and really that's not an option.

Busy today now feeling annoyed I'm too whacked to do the personal figures for the month as we've had our last spend and budget reset tomorrow. Also find it wakes me up after 10 mins or so. Letting the side down ha. 

@RelievedSheff I don't know how you find peace with going to bed so early mate lol. I 100% fight it often am tired at that kind of time but feels like no time in the day to be sleeping, do push through it and get a few more hours.

@FootyFanDan thanks mate, generally I'm in a lot better place. Always am after a proper break from it if I'm honest with myself better for keeping away really.

Lockdown - I'm dreading it being over mate. Easter wife wants us to go to my in-laws, she'll go on 29th already planned. I get her wanting to take son for Easter just don't want to go there myself ha. Drove far too close to their house today anxiety through the roof hoping they weren't out for a walk, see me and expect me to pull over for a chat lol. Actually fancied stopping at the Costa for a coffee but decided to just drive through hoping and !!!!!! praying they weren't out or the two siblings that still live there were out FML. Not gonna lie for the rest of the journey home seriously thought about changing my reg plate lol.

I totally get not liking the person you've become mate, I !!!!!! hate me. You're doing really well. It's obvious you think the world of your Mrs and little one, doing your best by them mate 100 from what I can tell. As I've said before I really admire your family first attitude 100%.

@ryanm8655 true mate tbf though not gonna lie did laugh a bit when I saw it was you who posted that though - you make me look like I go bed early mate. 

Haha true, though I’ve got man flu so tucked up in bed already ha. Also probably a measure of how little I do other than sit at my desk I was often in bed by 9.30 when with the family as was frowned upon to stay in bed past 8 ha.

alt80

@FootyFanDan thank you but the fact I'm on here past midnight having failed to get to sleep and spent the last 15 mins looking at a white DBS manual and I'm that much of a saddo I'd got a pic of my Range on the drive up on the other side of the iPad screen having a look at how they'd look together, 10 mins just staring at them together haha FML. All rather than trying to get some sleep ha have to laugh at myself.

Tbh the green eyed monster is coming back a bit now we're close to the lockdown ending cars going to be coming out and I'm not going on some cross country blat in a !!!!!! Range Rover whilst my mate buys a !!!!!! Aston no !!!!!! wonder my Mrs sent him the message she did ha I probably would too if I was a woman lol. Merc we're looking at is slow as !!!!!! too. I def want a weekend car again right now !!!!!! cursed with it I am mate.

@ryanm8655 get well soon mate. Ha re desk ikwym I'm not much different generally.

FML 8pm and in bed haha.

warby68

Hopefully only a bit longer to go before you accept being tired is normal @alt80 - I do identify with sleep issues but also can't help smiling at your righteous indignation about being tired and needing the same amount of sleep as everyone else and that it must mean you're ill not just a normal person. Please stop doing the stuff that keeps you awake late at night - AM cravings at midnight are not going to help. I actually think you'd be better going old school and having a physical book to read not something on devices where its too easy to drift onto something else. And make your personal budgets a morning job not an evening 'too hard pile' thing.

Anyway, if I have the dates correct, you are going into your 10th clean weekend. That is another great milestone, one that sounds a serious amount of time. Pat on back time again.

For the fear of things opening up, I'd use your one day at a time mindset. Plan things out but don't spend great amounts of time looking  at vast swathes of future time and temptation. Keep it immediate and just move to the next day or weekend and count each well lived day as success. The days will add up just like the drug free ones.

Enjoy your weekend 

ladyholly

Forget the clock in the evening. If you are tired go to bed. If you push through it you wont sleep properly when you do decide to sleep. If you wake in the night dont check the time as you will starat to thing oh Ive got to be up in  so many hours and you will start to worry.  Finally dont take Ipad etc to bed apparently the blue light they give off is bad for your sleep patterns. I dont know the science but I am sure someeone on here will. Stick to your audio books especially if the reader has a nice soothing voice.

Things opening up is gradual so as warby says one day at a time. I also think you should go with your wife and son to the in laws. I know you are dreading it but the llonger you leave it the more it will build up in your mind. Let them see the new improved clean version of you. They might be impressed. You never know.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Another day absolutely whacked this time again. Last night went to bed early but didn't get to sleep rather than listening to the book decided to watch tv. Was up until 2am. Today not been too great mentally got through it though. Def going to try going to bed early but put the book on, the voice reading it is quite soothing haha. 

The 4hr / 4hr thing possibly would work ok for me @JGB1955 / @getmore4less if I actually went to bed early, usually push through any early night tiredness according to my phone I sleep on average around 5 hrs a night. Def feel a lot better when I get a week or so of 7ish hrs. Unfortunately think I'm just going to have to come to terms with me being one of those people who needs a lot of sleep unless I go back on the stuff and really that's not an option.

Busy today now feeling annoyed I'm too whacked to do the personal figures for the month as we've had our last spend and budget reset tomorrow. Also find it wakes me up after 10 mins or so. Letting the side down ha. 

@RelievedSheff I don't know how you find peace with going to bed so early mate lol. I 100% fight it often am tired at that kind of time but feels like no time in the day to be sleeping, do push through it and get a few more hours.

@FootyFanDan thanks mate, generally I'm in a lot better place. Always am after a proper break from it if I'm honest with myself better for keeping away really.

Lockdown - I'm dreading it being over mate. Easter wife wants us to go to my in-laws, she'll go on 29th already planned. I get her wanting to take son for Easter just don't want to go there myself ha. Drove far too close to their house today anxiety through the roof hoping they weren't out for a walk, see me and expect me to pull over for a chat lol. Actually fancied stopping at the Costa for a coffee but decided to just drive through hoping and !!!!!! praying they weren't out or the two siblings that still live there were out FML. Not gonna lie for the rest of the journey home seriously thought about changing my reg plate lol.

I totally get not liking the person you've become mate, I !!!!!! hate me. You're doing really well. It's obvious you think the world of your Mrs and little one, doing your best by them mate 100 from what I can tell. As I've said before I really admire your family first attitude 100%.

@ryanm8655 true mate tbf though not gonna lie did laugh a bit when I saw it was you who posted that though - you make me look like I go bed early mate. 

We get up early and make full use of the hours that we are awake so we have no worries about going to bed early, we have done a full day when we go to bed and we wake up the next morning fully refreshed and raring to go.

It is a vicious cycle trying to fight the urge to sleep. Far better to listen to what your body wants and needs.

alt80

Happy Friday

More issues with things I’d rather weren’t a problem - IT related again and stuck on a phone FML. Really do need to update the personal stuff today though no idea when ha. 

@warby68 lol tbh always fought through it mate. I hate sleeping feels like a complete waste of a good few hours. If it didn’t have the negative effects 100% I’d use the stimulants all the time never go to bed but the negatives outweigh the positives so do want to keep leaving well alone. You’re poss right re the paper book somewhat reluctant in a way used to sit up as a kid binge reading books under torchlight always have been an idiot of the absolute highest order ha. Also if I let the wife in my bed she goes to sleep early can do without me putting lights on not 100% selfish ha.

Personal budgets I need to do find cramming everything into my morning !!!!!! impossible.

10th weekend yes thank you. Feel confident getting through the next few but as things open idk keep speaking to the pros I think. Thanks re opening up continually anxious about it had a few spend wants for no reason whatsoever recently. Def got the sense of impending doom everything opening in town. Staff want to go out when the pubs open properly no !!!!!! chance I can take them on a night out and don’t really want to elaborate on my reasons why. Most know I do it on a night out but not that it became a bit more problematic don’t really want to slide that into a meeting agenda ha. !!!!!! night’s sleep all my own fault and first thing one of them has to mention getting out on a ‘big one’ in June. Great.

@ladyholly wish I could forget about the clock but def relate to the not sleeping properly when finally do get to sleep.

Really enjoy the audiobooks and do set the sleep timer every time I’ve just set that I’ve gone to sleep lol. 

Genuinely dreading the in-laws stuff returning know where you’re coming from I can deal with them on the phone but if I never had to see them again in person would be ideal not going to happen though.

@RelievedSheff You’re a proper morning person waking up refreshed and raring to go FML wish I did ha. 

Agree re vicious circle no idea how to get out of it though mate I’ve always been the same. 

feeldaburn

alt80 said:

You’re poss right re the paper book somewhat reluctant in a way used to sit up as a kid binge reading books under torchlight always have been an idiot of the absolute highest order ha. Also if I let the wife in my bed she goes to sleep early can do without me putting lights on not 100% selfish ha.

Small purchase cost but get a book light that clips onto books!

RelievedSheff

Try going to bed to sleep rather than to read or watch TV.

Just get in bed and put your head on the pillow straight away. No gadgets or TV to keep your mind occupied.