First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

You may not have the sea that close(2hr ) but I recall some pretty decent pubs on the river/canal network.

Once a month is a decent call on eating out,  it's one of those decide how much you want to allocate and do you blow it on one meal or look for places that are a bit cheaper and stretch out to two.

re: mate
I recall you recognised it was bate but how much bate is it in terms of his car wants.
Is  there any history of your mate wanting an AM?
probably get there and he will change his mind.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver we’ve been to Cornwall before it’s a long drive but not a chance will I be going there in school hols. Son gets a few weeks they don’t have at state school - going anywhere that’ll be busy we go those weeks ha. I’ve never failed to see the irony in paying for less weeks though lol. 

Not a chance I’m going this year though 100% avoid. 

Ha wouldn’t say I fall into the good dad category. Making an effort now I suppose.

Re mate !!!!!! knows not many do as much blow as him half wonder what’s him and what’s him on drugs lol. 

@getmore4less / @RelievedSheff we def had some decent pubs how many will open up post lockdown who knows. I need to avoid town though maybe plan some walks instead

Agreed re eating out think some months probably somewhere really nice and others have a couple of meals. That’s the plan whether I can stick with it is a different matter hope so anyway. 

My mate is massively into Porsche talking GT3RS toy and drives a Cayenne turbo everyday into pork not been into AMs mainly just took the p. Idk maybe it’s for real he wants it and I’m paranoid/ jealous.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

........

My mate is massively into Porsche talking GT3RS toy and drives a Cayenne turbo everyday into pork not been into AMs mainly just took the p. Idk maybe it’s for real he wants it and I’m paranoid/ jealous.

If never been on the list why change now?
top of my list as you are resisting meeting up it is a bet you can't resist this....
My next question would be who else did(does) he hang out with and how were the relative frequencies compared to your meetups with him.

alt80

@getmore4less you’re trying to apply logic to someone who thought a ‘deal’ on a load of retail with very little potential in a dying town was a good idea until his dad stepped in. Honestly mate he’s a !!!!!! disaster zone always been the same walked out of uni with a third despite more practical experience than the rest of us combined never did anything after apart from bits for the parents. No concept of real life whatsoever lol.

He won’t swap any of the pork got a few other cars too. I’d probably do time for the garage alone ha. From what I can tell his reasons for this AM purchase seem to revolve around playing Bond and ‘taking me out’ FML. 

He’s not got many people left in his life tbh. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@getmore4less you’re trying to apply logic to someone who thought a ‘deal’ on a load of retail with very little potential in a dying town was a good idea until his dad stepped in. Honestly mate he’s a !!!!!! disaster zone always been the same walked out of uni with a third despite more practical experience than the rest of us combined never did anything after apart from bits for the parents. No concept of real life whatsoever lol.

He won’t swap any of the pork got a few other cars too. I’d probably do time for the garage alone ha. From what I can tell his reasons for this AM purchase seem to revolve around playing Bond and ‘taking me out’ FML. 

He’s not got many people left in his life tbh. 

He will have even less people if he doesn't smarten up his act.

You can't let him drag you down when you have been doing so well of late. Just keep making the excuses why you can't see him.

It will eventually sink in that he has to grow up as well at some point!

foxgloves

I do live further away from the city than you alt80. Yes, I can understand that if you are still worried about succumbing to temptation, there is lots of it on offer in the city. 
To answer your question as to whether I was still a spender pre-Lockdown 1. No, I wasn't. In fact, it's a really big no, as both of us (my partner would defo not deny that he was as bad for frittering money away as me in the past!) have been reformed for a good long time now. To be honest, he does still like his tech but our 'Monthly Spends' & various different savings pots have put a stop to any of that kind of gear just going on credit on a whim. My debt began in my late teens (on arrival in aforementioned city) & I didn't reform until my early to mid-40s. I'm 10 years on from that now. That's why I started a diary on here, really, to share that it is absolutely possible to change even very longstanding poor money habits. 
Did I feel I still had a life? Oh God, yes. You see, my overspending through all those years (decades, really) was at odds with other aspects of who I am as a person. For instance, I am left-wing, environmentally aware, creative (as in I can mend things as well as make things etc), I am a good cook  - back in the late 1970s, we did proper Home Economics at school (the lads too) so I knew all about not wasting stuff, cooking good stuff from scratch, etc. I have always loved gardening & being outdoors. I like driving but have never been remotely bothered about fast flash cars, have zero interest in foreign travel (we are more 'long twilight walks down windswept beach followed by good pub' kind of people, & while I wasted a lot of money on clothes, during the Spendy Decades, I have never been impressed by designer brands so would never have spent more than £120 max on a handbag, say......there was just way too much spending on stuff generally. I will admit I did have a weakness for good skincare.....hung out a lot around certain cosmetic counters convincing myself that their 'offers' were genuinely good deals, etc. The truth is that whatever one is in to, there will be a whole load of tempting kit to go with it......even 'green' stuff.....of course I now know that the most environmentally friendly way forward is to consume less, not to buy this & that product because it says it's green, iyswim. I also had very expensive music lessons which I could not afford at the time (& the dresses to go with performing).
Stopping the frittering has been like popping the missing piece of jigsaw in place. We both agree that we are so much happier. It did take my partner a little bit more time to get on board with it at the beginning (including one horrible row in the car on the way to Bath!) but he saw my debts reducing as a result of the changes I was making & he soon wanted in on the act. We've worked together on it as a team ever since. Do I ever see myself going back to how I was before? No, I think it has been too long. I am much happier, we are much more financially secure as we are now debt & mortgage-free & also have some savings (which still feels like a new experience for both of us). I wouldn't want to risk that security. It is all about saving for us now. We would like to move to another part of the country in around 10 years time. House prices are more expensive there than here, so we are determined to put our best foot forward with trying to get sufficient savings in place to make up the difference.
If I am really honest, there is one area where I am not quite sure I would be able to resist temptation & that is vintage/antique fairs/emporia. I love vintage stuff & in that past, I have blown a lot of money at them, pretty much all impulse buys. While we were debt-busting, I sold a lot of what I had bought, & it was interesting that very little made back the amount I'd paid for it. Lesson learned! So on the very rare occasions I do visit this sort of thing, I do make sure I do a whole lot more looking than I do buying & only use my Personal Spends allowance rather than dipping my hand into the budget.
I do sometimes look back at all the money I wasted in the past & think that I could probably be living somewhere gorgeous by the sea right now if only I'd saved even just half of what I frittered, but beating myself up for past behaviour when the lesson has been well & truly learned is a very negative thing & not conducive at all to moving forward. The fact is that the light bulb did finally ping on bright & true and I won't go back.
Hope this answers your question. I think it will.
F

alt80

@RelievedSheff think you're right tbh sounds harsh but he's not my problem.

@foxglove thanks makes sense in your case living the whole frugal/ value lifestyle but probably pretty obvious from reading I'm not into none of that eco/ vintage type stuff. Not my thing at all, never has been and brain transplant aside never will be lol. I suppose this lifestyle is at odds with who I am tbh so it makes things harder but I can't carry on living the way I was. Not going to lie first thing I'd buy post lockdown if I could would be a new V8V looking like I'm going down Mercedes for a downgrade on my current BMW though. If I didn't want to get myself sorted I wouldn't give a !!!!!! the wife wants to buy a new bag - I'd be the one buying it. Just need to use my head a bit more I don't earn badly for round here tbf but only long term security I'm particularly bothered about is that of my business - suppose in a roundabout way gives me security too.

Bit envious of the potential move away tbh I'm very much tied to around here for the rest of my days. Know what you mean re values too tbh not a chance I'd get a place like mine in the South East for £625k. Probably get a palace in parts of the North East though ha so all relative.

alt80

Day 61.

First day in quite a few not been tempted at all so calling that a win. Good work day and a nice evening. 

Spent no money and going to have another early(for me ha) night. Decent night’s sleep last night nearly 7 hours and felt like a different person today. Will put the audio book on again.

@RelievedSheff has got me looking at TVs though FML ha. Not in the plan so not going to buy lol but I’m def too easily tempted.

getmore4less

You can get a very good TV for 3 tanks of fuel.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Day 61.

First day in quite a few not been tempted at all so calling that a win. Good work day and a nice evening. 

Spent no money and going to have another early(for me ha) night. Decent night’s sleep last night nearly 7 hours and felt like a different person today. Will put the audio book on again.

@RelievedSheff has got me looking at TVs though FML ha. Not in the plan so not going to buy lol but I’m def too easily tempted.

It was in our plan to buy a new TV

It does mean there will be no overpayment on Card 3 though. But we do need to get back into the mindset that we are allowed to live a little and the card will be paid off pretty quickly anyway with the £500 monthly repayment we have set. We need to find our debt repayment VS living balance again.