First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@warby68 it was good thank you but I have done better tbh mind wasn’t completely on it. 

warby68

Sounds like a good weekend in a funny way - dealing with 'normal' problems including a mini crisis together with wife and juggling to get the meal cooked. It will have had your mind working a bit differently rather than the rinse and repeat problem cycle of other weekends.

I get the holiday is a dilemma. Husband thinks countries like Greece will want us but the UK Gov actually won't want us going or rather coming back as other places will be in a worse state than us by then. I think it would be worth paying a bit more to make sure everything is refundable or transferable. As long as it is I'd be tempted to book -  its not a huge amount, you'll definitely go when you can and its towards the end of the year. Plus the show of commitment will be good all round for family.

Wife does seem to know IG = bad and is receptive to change as long as you're doing it together. Good signs hopefully. 

alt80

@warby68 I'm whacked tbh mate. Good in a way I suppose wife came to me in the night couldn't sleep why we were up until 5am. She has a real love/ hate thing with IG acknowledged it's addictive. Harder for her in some ways not got the work focus so easy for her to go back on it all the time. Scheduled stuff for her to do this week she made me laugh said she could go back to uni lol and if she could go back would have done something sports/ exercise related. Told her to read a few books lol tbh if she's serious about that I'd be happy if she did go it'd keep her off IG but be a !!!!!! weird dynamic at her age. 

Greece def wants UK tourists but UK gov is definitely the uncertainty. We've come to same conclusion re potentially paying a bit more for refundable/ transferable. Bit anxious about the whole thing tbh suppose I actually want it to happen but not sure about 2 weeks away so a few things.

@foxgloves I meant to ask - you mention you're an ex-spender. Assuming you were an ex-spender pre-lockdown 1 - do you feel you still have a life? 

alt80

Having an early one but before I go to bed I have checked the spends. Added food order for the coming week as wife has done the plan just need to order. Don't think they're be many if any more spends before budget reset on 26th but will update properly on 26th inc balances. This marks moving into the interim Apr-Jul analysis, will try to make something a bit more detailed for here - don't want to try posting spreadsheets again that didn't work ha. 

Variable Spends

Food £385/400

Alcohol £35/50

Coffees out £60/50 (thinking about reining this in rather than uping the budget)

Fuel £410/300 (mentioned this previously needs to go up to £400 perhaps a bit more idk, this month been out on the road a fair bit more than usual)

Entertainment £20/250 (obv not going to stay this low)

Needs & wants £150/835 (will go up straight away in April as anniversary break in the category also will be booking Greece - been massively under so far and more that the yearly works out to this per month so not really analysed on a month by month more done against itemised stuff in this overall group but this does allow for quick analysis and update)

Also didn't get around to sunflowers that's the after school task for tomorrow with son.

enthusiasticsaver

Some good underspends there. Well done. 

alt80

Happy Monday 

Got a decent nights sleep last night went to bed early and more or less slept through apart from waking up because my headphones were still in. Fell asleep listening to my audio book so probably going to have to rewind it a bit when I have it on tonight.

Thank you @enthusiasticsaver this month def last for such low spending being last of lockdown. Tbh think we will likely go out to a few restaurants come May 17th possibly have a meal out in April but only if the weather is nice. Believe they open up 12th April for sitting outside. Wife and I did have a bit of a discussion about meals out and decided probably only going to do it once a month plus birthdays/ occasions. She’s going to see her mum and dad on 29th but don’t think they can do anything together really. Not going to lie I’m getting increasingly anxious about the lockdown restrictions ending and the future - want it to be different to the past and stick to the plan. My mate still wants me to meet up I need to stay strong tbh not come this far this time to give it up go back on the stuff and start spending like a madman again. 

enthusiasticsaver

That sounds like a good plan to maybe eat out once in the month plus occasions. I am looking forward to doing that too. Nice coastal path hike finished off with a pub lunch outside. 

I think you are aware of the pitfalls of going mad so hope that you will cope with the added temptations. As you say the worry is your mate drags you back to the dark place before you kicked the habit. I really hope you can stay strong. Think of how good the last few months have been for your son and for you. Although I am sure you have found it difficult you just sound like you are in a much better place. Maybe just use excuses to avoid your mate for a month or so like family stuff or work and try not to let him get under your skin. 

RelievedSheff

We are both a bit nervous about lock down ending and the spending ramping up again. It has been great for us to make some big inroads into getting our debts repaid. But at the same time we are both looking forward to being able to sit outside a pub with a cold pint after a long dog walk.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver read your coastal hike and pub lunch comment smiling to myself thinking that’d be amazing. No chance where I live lol but other places we can go. Might even have a hol in Devon or Cornwall next year and do just that.

Tbh my habit was worse than I could admit even to myself massively affected my spending, marriage and family. Always managed to deny it to myself, always someone else’s fault until the crash and then 100% all on me. Haven’t stopped hating myself but the more I do the more I want the stuff over my family. Think that’s why my wife goes mad tbh. Really don’t want my son growing up being the kid who’s dad has a problem with drugs. I’d convinced myself no one knew when I’m fairly sure that they did it’s me who has to live with it everyday and no one wishes I’d never touched the stuff more than I do.

He still wants me to go and look at this AM often get weird messages about us going back a long way need to sort myself out ha and there’s something wrong with me lol. I’ve flatly refused to go and see the car feel like a !!!!!! mate as it’s my problem but I just can’t risk it right now.

enthusiasticsaver

Nothing wrong with a good dose of self preservation and his comments show he is not a good mate to you. A good mate would be understanding of someone who is trying to kick a bad habit. Not only is it an awful idea to spend hours in the company of someone who thinks that drugs are ok but as an AM is your dream car I just think that will take you back to a bad place and I can't help but think that like your wife sometimes your mate knows how to push your buttons and manipulate you. Stay Strong and tell yourself you are doing this for yourself and your son. You are a good dad and yes have mistakes but so do we all. Just try and cultivate better relationships going forward. We can't change the past but we can learn from past mistakes. 

If you and your wife love the active life and lovely scenery then Cornwall or Devon would be a great holiday one year for you although not sure how long it would take to get here from NG. This year sounds like it is going to be a bit crazy with incomers though. A lot of places are already booked up so our summer will be spent dodging tourists. Great for local economy though and we know the quieter places.